Daughter 100s of miles away at uni having ‘bad trip’ . Help

[Usernamedulychanged]

Hi . Posting here for traffic but really I just need help. I don’t know what to do. DD rang me an hour ago from her flat at uni 100s of miles away. Said she felt ‘schizophrenic’. Wanted to go to hospital. Admitted she’d taken an edible at a uni party . I don’t know anything really about edibles as they weren’t around when I was at uni. I assume they are cannabis. I spent 20 mins talking her down and telling her all would be fine. Listen to some music. Try to relax. She said she was going to the loo. I said ok call me back as soon as you’re finished. I have called her 20 times she’s not answering. DH reckons she’s fallen asleep and ‘will be fine’. What to do? Can I assume she’s ok? Do I need to call the halls of residence to do a welfare check? I don’t even know her flat number

I think the main takeaway from this is you need the numbers of a couple of her friends in case of emergency. Not just something like this - if she’s sick or in hospital etc

Not helpful. Taking any drug is a serious matter and a welfare check is a good idea. She may have passed out or she may be very ill. This insouciant attitude to taking chemicals of unknown composition is insane.

Happened to a some I know a long time ago. It was a magic mushroom though, not weed.

You must be relieved. Your daughter obviously had enough sense to phone you when she was scared and thought she needed hospital. Thank her for doing this (even though you are probably mad at her).

Students are so vulnerable when they have no one to look out for them. Years ago I helped saved the life of a uni student who choked on her own vomit in a toilet cubicle in a nightclub. She was blue when we entered the loos and saw her on the floor of her cubicle, through the gap. One of us climbed over the top of the cubicle, got her body out the way to open the door, dragged her out, we turned her on her side, whacked her on the back and cleared out her mouth. Got her breathing again. She made a weird noise, and threw up more and turned pink again.

We washed the sick off us, then carried on clubbing after the paramedics took her away, her now semi conscious. We were pretty drunk ourselves and it didn’t register what a close call it was. I expect she was 18 and the first year of uni.

Glad she's OK and brilliant that she feels able to tell you everything - you've done something right there. Hope her uni experience improves. Can she move halls? Or has she had any luck joining any clubs / societies - is she still playing sport?

What a silly girl.

Constructive and empathetic. Well done.

Well it’s pathetic. She’s running riot at uni and doing stupid things. I’d be telling her to get her arse home.

Glad you heard back from her but I just wanted to say what a huge testament it is to you that she chose to call you in the situation. Parenting definitely done right!

And just how do you think a "bollocking" will have any positive effect on this girl's behaviour? All it would do would be make it increasingly unlikely that she would ever reach out to her mother again in any sort of similar situation. She's technically an adult now, a bollocking from Mum is highly unlikely to stop her from doing what she wants going forwards. I think it's just lovely that she has such a close relationship with her Mum that she felt safe enough to call her when she was scared. I would never have felt able to do that with my Mum at uni! That's a bond to be nurtured as she gets older. Kindness and some practical advice is what's needed here, not anger.

Glad to read she’s ok now

Drinking coca cola stops the affects of cannabis?! I can tell you for a fact that's total bollocks.

Sounds very scary for her, maybe once she's come down you and she need a chat about the why and if she needs to be talking to accomodation about a different more socal flat she can make friends with to allow her to stop compensating for lack of socal conecetions. Ds had this senario with out the drugs and it helped to move . He did have flatmates who tripped but it wasnt for him. Dd is a young uni 1st year and has a very social townhouse at her uni, its been so much better.

If she had synthetic cannabis it can cause very strong, scary psychoactive trips. Especially if she ate it on an empty stomach or with alcohol.
It wasn’t around in my day, but we have had some teenagers at my work walk in a while back (I work in a public building) suffering after taking some.

Honestly cannabis has a really odd effect on some people. Me being one of them when I tried it in my younger days. Having not suffered with schizophrenia I can’t say for sure that’s what it feels like but your daughter sounds similar to me and that was exactly what I imagined schizophrenia to be like. Extreme paranoia and convinced everyone was out to get to me, it was terrifying. Locked myself in my room for a couple of hours as I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It then wore off and I was completely fine and thought wtf was that all about. I’ve been able to laugh about it since and compare it to the “ambulance or mummy” scene from the inbetweeners.

The plus side is that once it wears off you tend to be fine, and secondly if she’s half as scared as I was she’ll have learnt a horrible lesson and won’t be in any hurry to repeat. Hope she’s ok and it’s positive that she could tell you when she’s in trouble. I’ve no doubt you were worried sick, but I think most people would rather know that their kid is in trouble, no matter what the circumstances are, so they can try and help, than risk a worse outcome because they were too scared to call.

Yes whilst good she's ok it would be a massive worry that she doesn’t mix with her flatmates so is going out as she is lonely.

Op, you say she is young for her age and has done something worrying before, it's only Nov you'll have a nightmare 3 years if this is a sign of things to come.

Can't she transfer to somewhere nearer? Why is a young for her age girl hundreds of miles away anyway, doesn't seem a good choice tbh.

If OP was the type of parent who'd call her child pathetic and stupid, her daughter wouldn't trust her enough to share her fears and mistakes, and OP would be none the wiser. OP says very clearly that her daughter is young for her age - so you're not telling her anything she doesn't already know, just being unkind.

I’m so glad your DD is okay.

It can cause psychosis with some people (which is on the rare side), so it would be wise if she kept away from it.

I’ve spoken to her this morning and she says she’s never ever ever touching anything like this again, which I am relieved to hear. Yes I’d strongly prefer her to be at uni near home but it’s what she wanted and she’s 18, so what can you do? She’s been constantly trying to move flat , but there’s no movement at all on this. She contacts the accommodation people constantly. She’s thrown herself into joining things (sports and subject related clubs) which means she goes out all the time just to not be lonely in the flat. All the clubs have a heavy social element. Anyway she says she’s won’t do it again. Thanks all

Just thinking about my own misspent youth - she’ll be feeling really fragile today/ this weekend, and the weekends can be tricky at uni as they’re a bit quieter/ no classes etc- could you go stay with her for the weekend or encourage her to come home, so she’s not on her own?

Omg that is incredible. You saved her life. You should be incredibly proud of yourself forever for what you did that night. I bet her parents don’t even know what a close call they had. I was a uni student when poor Leah Betts died. It’s lifelong tragedy for those parents . They never get over it.

Yeah agree the weekends are weird. I might go up

I think that would be a lovely thing to do. Make it a mother-daughter weekend and do some nice, distracting things together. Especially if this is the second time in a few weeks you’ve had concerns about her welfare. It might do you both good.

I remember when I went through a TERRIBLE break up at uni in my second year - I was really self sufficient and had left home at 17, so not really one to “call mum”- but coupled with a bad psychological reaction to a new contraceptive that shouldn’t have been prescribed to me, I was in a state. My housemates called my mum, and she came to stay for the weekend - it’s still one of my favorite times ever with my mum, even though I was very low.

'Yes I’d strongly prefer her to be at uni near home but it’s what she wanted and she’s 18, so what can you do?'

You guide them and explain all unis are much of a muchness and you wouldn't go hundreds of miles to go shopping when there's plenty nearer. I presume you are financially supporting her so you should have got a say whether she's 18 or not. Crazy for an immature kid to be hundreds of miles away.

@Usernamedulychanged I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago with my son who is 1st year uni. He hadn't taken any substances, but was nevertheless throwing up relentlessly in the middle of the night, unable to keep fluids down, weak and dizzy and, after telling me this via messaging, uncontactable for several hours. I did call the uni's 24 hour helpline, to get someone to check on him, but was told he hadn't filled in the relevant form when he registered, so they couldn't help me. All they could recommend was that I call the police and ask them to conduct a welfare check instead. 😠

Eventually I heard from him. His friends had taken him to A&E in a taxi, where he had been put on a drip, with anti-sickness, to rehydrate.

Fast forwarding ... when he was well enough, he tracked down the "relevant form" (easier said than done) and submitted it. But he will have to remember to re-submit it at the beginning of each academic year. This is despite the fact that I was already registered as his "emergency contact". So it seems that emergency contact is one way only unless otherwise specified. (This is the University of Southampton).