Raging!!!

[Bernie23]

I wanted to go to a meditation/relaxation session for 1hour this evening. I do child’s homework every single day in life after I rush home from work. This evening my daughter had a couple of corrections in her homework and I asked my husband to do them with her when I was away at this course.
Come home and she still has one not completed, another not corrected properly and another that is illegible. AIBU but WTF? I went mad, the one day I ask him to do it, he can’t be bothered to even make sure it’s right. He’s shouting at me saying I’m mad and I need to wise up but I’m livid.

Do you think that you are giving her teacher a correct understanding of her abilities . How does the teacher know if a part of a lesson needs repeating? My education was in the dark and distant past, so perhaps it is different nowadays.

We just left ours to there homework

the thing is it’s very much you you you

you think they should be helped
you do corrections
you want to give them 1-2-1 with homework
your parents helped you

whilst none of the above are wrong not everyone thinks that’s the way and I presume your husband is one of them

Well, that (last sentence) is very true. But I'm still not sure how any education can happen if kids are being steered towards getting every answer right without understanding why they are right.

I actually work in a school and the TA s do not do this. They have time to do this. In my daughter’s class there is 1 SEN TA in a room of children. The TA is assigned to a particular child. In this class, they are full time with 1 child with behaviour issues. Everything and everyone else is down to the teacher.
I’m actually amazed at how many people don’t support with homework. The teacher is already aware of how she is getting in because she is there all day in class with her. She doesn’t need homework to see that. However, it is amazing how much difference a little 1:1 support from an adult at home can make to a child understanding and becoming more confident with a particular concept, strategy or skill.

I’m actually amazed at how many people don’t support with homework. I work in a school. The teacher is already aware of how she is getting in because she is there all day in class with her. She doesn’t need homework to see that. However, it is amazing how much difference a little 1:1 support from an adult at home can make to a child understanding and becoming more confident with a particular concept, strategy or skill.

Yes, a good father should take an interest in his child’s education - and that means supervising homework (especially when they are young).

But… do you really think that flying off the handle is the best approach to dealing with hour husband’s mild negligence?

Now that his nose has been put out of joint, he is even less likely to cooperate. Take a deep breath, apologise, and ask him to do his best for his child, but that he need not be the perfect parent.

You're quite right op.

Im on my last nerve exhausted and ask someone I love to do one little thing but no they can not even do that. What the actual fuck. I hear you.

Parents should check homework. Mine always did. Do people not want to know what their child is working on and how well they are coping?

With regard ro your lazy bastard partner I’d suggest you draw up a list of chores that need doing and put names against them. I’d suggest by the end if the week 90% will have your name next to them as the one who did them. I’d suggest your partner will be so incompetent you will do the “oh I’ll just do it myself” routine and he will weaponise his incompetence ro get out of pulling his weight.
Get him trained or he will get away with murder while you carry the whole household weight of responsibility. lifes too short. He needs to step up. Tell him as he he hed the homework so badly he needs practice so he can do it all this week and youll keep an eye on it to make sure he’s done whats required.

What I do with my 11 year old is sit with her whilst she does her homework, and then if she is struggling or getting bits wrong, we talk it through. I don’t just give her the answer, I ask questions to get her thinking about it and figuring it out herself, or I explain how something works (eg in algebra the homework is usually something new they haven’t covered in class yet, and the videos to teach them in the homework app are fairly useless), or I explain how different things works together, or give her more background. So in geography homework today they were reading about ‘slash and burn’ agriculture, and I was explaining that that is a descriptive but perjorative term, and explained how Swidden agriculture works and why it is better suited to some areas than plow agriculture. So just giving her a wider understanding of what she was learning. Does that make sense?

That’s exactly the sort of thing I do as well.

Tbh, this. It's surely up to the teacher to correct homework, not the parents? Isn't the whole point for the teacher to be able to see what the child does and doesn't understand about the work they've been set?

Indeed. You are far from the only parent to think that parenting is “not their job”.

I’d be mad too. You want your child to do well so of course you’ll make sure she does her homework and understands it. It wouldn’t take much for your partner to have checked over a couple of questions - it’s lazy parenting IMO that they didn’t do it. I’m with you.

Hearing her Mum raging at her Dad about homework is not going to make your daughter feel relaxed and positive about it.

I think it’s lovely that you help her with homework.

You are helping her with what she has learnt in class and taking an interest.

Its difficult to tell if your DH is a lazy sod or if you’re too particular in the way that it needs to be done.

It sounds like he did do it but just not in the way that you wanted it done perhaps.

Yes, it does - adding extra background/context - I can see what you're saying.

So what do I do? Say nothing & end up going over it myself and he just doesn’t bother?

What happens if your daughter calls her father over to assist?

There is a lesson for her here too, and that’s the need to step up and be proactive when others are … um … neglecting their parental duties.

My daughter’s school told us never to correct homework. If it goes back 100% then the teacher thinks the kid knows what they are doing. Seeing what they are getting wrong helps them target learning.

You are Raging!! over this? Ok

I don't think the relaxation sessions are working. Can you get a refund?

It's also amazing how much difference hearing your mum raging at your dad can have on a developing child. Just saying.

Your reaction sounds OTT; you sound very stressed and you need to relax for your sake, your daughter’s and your marriage.

😂

You know who shouts loudest in arguments? The person who knows that they are wrong.

You asked him to do this one thing for his daughter and he couldnt be bothered. You called him out on that and shone a spotlight on the fact that he is a shit father who doesnt give a toss about his DD's education. That he is lazy and selfish.

This is not how he wants to see himself so he deflects by trying to get you to argue about something else (you are mad, always having a go etc) so the real issue is lost.

What does he actually do that makes him worth having around?

Also, this isnt about homework is it @Bernie23

This is just the last straw in a long long list of straws I am guessing.