Nanny wearing my slippers when I'm not there

[SilverDoublet]

This is a bit of a weird one - so I popped home today unexpectedly while the nanny was in my house with the kids. Everything seemed fine, but then when she was talking to me I looked down and saw that she was wearing my slippers. It made me feel sick. They're not the cleanest or newest of slippers, but I didn't know what to say. I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time or what but I feel like binning the slippers and hiding my slippers in future. I also feel like letting her go over it. It just makes me wonder what else she might do when I'm not there. She's from Brazil. Is this normal in Brazil to just wear someone else's slippers? Am I being weird to have a total icky feeling about this?

I would feel abit weird about someone else wearing my slippers. I can totally understand feeling abit gross about someone else's feet being in your slippers! I agree that getting her a pair of slippers to wear while she's at your house is a good option. And I would say put your slippers away in a cupboard or something when you leave. Some people might not be bothered by something like this which is fine, but some people are which is also fine. It's a personal thing

My partner is Brazilian and the first time I visited his brother's house, I was asked my shoe size and given a pair of house slippers that everyone generally wears. I also think it's weird and wasn't overly keen on it, but I think it's normal to share slippers in Brazilian culture, yes.
It's like it's almost seen as weird to be walking around in just socks, and is seen like the polite thing to do.

This
Keep perspective OP

I understand it is uncomfortable, but letting go sounds too much - it is impossible to find someone who will never cross any invisible line.

In my home, we have our personal slippers and a bunch of comunal ones right by the doors anyone can use.

Just buy her a pair! Her feet were probably cold. I can’t see anything wrong in it and certainly wouldn’t bin them

But you have sex with him?

This sums it up well for me.

In my country shoes off is a standard, but it's impolite to let your guest walk around in just socks, so you keep a stash of slippers at hand.

In my home we do the same, but use plastic ones which can be easily cleaned. Plus our regular guests effectively have their assigned pair, so it isn't that weird.

This person is probably wiping your children’s tushies and you are freaking out over sharing slippers?

Log it with the police.

And it´s also a bit weird that OP doesn´t use her words and say, hey Maria, I don´t want you using my slippers, please use your own. Or alternatively, Hey Maria you can keep my old slippers, I have just ordered a new pair for me. In the future, please don´t use any of my personal items.

She probably thinks they're a communal resource (and judges you for only having skanky old ones).

There are many places in the world where its considered gross to wear outdoor shoes inside the home.

My Brazilian cleaner used to wear my sliders which I thought a bit odd. So I just stopped wearing them and "gave" them to her.

Suspect it might be usual in some countries to provide slippers for guests (I know this is common in Japan, and some scandinavian countries). Maybe she felt it was odd there weren't some available. It wouldn't bother me, I'd be mildly weirded out as old slippers are a bit grim and personal, I'd just buy some cheap ones from Tesco and give them to her next day. No way would I get rid of a good nanny, who knows my kids and vice versa, over this.

If you can afford a nanny you can afford to buy her a pair of slippers. Especially if you have a no shoes policy in the house

I think I would struggle with that too. Slippers - especially old raggedy ones - are a personal item! I wouldn't dream of wearing someone else's either. YANBU.

No idea why you didn’t just say something at the time.

I have Hungarian, Japanese and Swiss friends or family and having slippers for guests to use is totally normal and it would be considered incredibly rude not to offer a guest slippers. I can’t speak for Brazil but it could possibly be the same.

I understand finding it strange but feeling sick is so over dramatic.

Op I would have an issue with this, because I once caught a housekeeper trying on my clothes. Another time using my perfume every time she came. I don’t think it’s on, and it’s way too over familiar, it’s like she became ‘you’ in your own life. I totally get it.

I think I would need some guarantees from her that your private things are not for her use. Give her some slippers of her own, and keep an eye on your stuff.

Nail on the head.

Yes, that's what I'd do. Maybe she forgot her own and thought you wouldn't mind.

Slipper usually go in the washing machine so don't worry about hygiene. If you want to be sure of avoiding that in future, put them away sonewhere.

If she is a good cleaner I wouldn't get rid of her over this, it isn't a big deal.

Lots of culture provide guest with slippers if shoes are not allowed inside (Japanese, Middle Eastern to think of a few) so perhaps she was doing it to be polite not realising they were so precious to you.

please don't sack her over this, it would be such a mean thing to do. Just get yourself some new slippers and some new communal house slippers for her. Honestly it's no big deal.

It is really cold. Nothing worse than cold feet. I have a few spare pairs for guests in a shoe cupboard by the door - like some airline ones etc that I can put in the washing machine.

I wouldn’t want to wear someone else’s ideally but no big deal. if everyone is wearing socks it’s not the end of the world

If you expect her to remove her shoes at your door and have not provided her or asked her to provide her own slippers then you are being unreasonable, if you never requested she remove her shoes while in your house then you are not being unreasonable. I don't not understand why she would be wearing your slippers over her own shoes. I personally hate going around shoeless, always feel awkward when hosts ask me to take off my shoes, if I am going to go somewhere overnight I take my slippers, I think binning them would be a bit over-the-top but by all means wash them especially if they were on her bare feet (ew) and put them away in your room when you are not home.

10 points!