Is this now normal 8/9 year old girl behaviour?

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Those with girls in year 4 (so age 8/9) - is it normal for the girls to be absolutely horrible to each other? I am getting so exasperated by the daily accounts of sly comments, very blatant attempts to cause upset feelings and undermine others confidence by starting rumours, dirty looks, plus also when did 8/9 year olds start talking about buying skincare at Sephora, applying lip gloss in the classroom, wearing crop tops on mufti day and sneering at those in the class who don’t 😳
is this normal? Or is it just the school I’ve clearly stupidly sent DD to?
Advice welcome! Thanks!

Happily not in our case - or at least if it is it goes over my DD's head! I guess there's always been an element of this sort of behaviour but I bet it won't be all the girls- are there some nicer ones your DD could pal up with to get away from the drama?

Not normal in DCs class. I was watching them come out today though and thinking how a few (minority) of the girls looked so grown up with make up etc and have heard from another mum about how her son was finding some of the girls more annoying as there always seemed to be drama so guess it maybe isn't that unusual but you are just unlucky to have a majority of them

Your school unfortunately I think - mine is Year 4 so they’re all 8/9 - mine likes Roblox and lol dolls and would never wear a crop top outside of boiling weather, and she doesn’t stick out. Definitely no Sephora talk either

the nastiness is very common at year 4 and is even worse in year 5 in my experience and that of my teacher friends. The make up and skin care business - less so and agree it’s far too young and not so normal

Used to work in a school and yes there are some girls who were like this. There are also some lovely girls.
Unfortunately they get worst in years 5&6 as the hormones hit, highly recommend you don’t get your dd a mobile phone until year 7.

Year 4 was a bad year for my daughter. Her best friend since nursery dropped her like a hot brick and the meanness levels of the whole group.of girls in her class ramped up. It was the second year of COVID lockdowns and we had situations where the girls who were in school (key worker children) were being very cliquey towards the girls who weren't in school and my daughter was really affected by it. She came out the other side and she's a happy, well adjusted y8 now but I wouldn't go through y4 again for anything, definitely the worst year of her school life so far.

We have had the unkindness since about year 3, school have favourites and it really shows. Year 6 has not been fun so far!

Not so much the obsessions with fashion/beauty but having observed 2 year groups definitely influenced by those with older siblings.

OMG they get worse in years 5/6 😳 what sort of thing? 🫣

Yes my yr 4 daughter is having a horrible time this year. Up to this year school had been plain sailing but this year is awful it's something everyday. My daughter is no angel and she will stick up for herself but some of the kids girls and boys are just mean. Some of the parents in this yrs class are also way to involved in the kids drama which I think fuels it more.

We found our hardest years were 4, 6, 7, 9, 11

I never had this with either of my girls. Admittedly they are mid teens now but this sort of behaviour didn't start until high school.

Never had this with my girl or any girls in her class (year 4)

Not make up or sexy clothes. But some cattiness certainly. It's all K Pop with our two

My son is in year 6 and there's constant fights, bullying accusations, fall outs etc within the girls in his class.
A lot of his friends are girls and he doesn't understand what they are fighting about most of the time.
Even his teacher mentioned that girls were a big problem at the minute in our recent parents evening.
Sorry I don't know how you change any of it, they can be brutal.

I think part of the problem is a lot of these girls act like teens. My 9 year old still loves playing with her dolls and Barbies and riding her bike. For many of the girls in her class it's all about make up, skincare, fashion and boys. My daughter is often called a baby or wierd because she doesn't get her brows shaped and she's not wearing the ' right's clothes.

Fortunately there is none of this in my daughter’s class! She’s into Minecraft and doesn’t seem to stick out at all. She’s even got a Minecraft school bag!

@CoralOP I also have a yr 6 boy. He sits with a few girls in the class and he is equally bemused by the conversation. On the way home he tells me all the tea he's heard. Who's dating, who's in a feud.

Year 4-6 is often a tricky time for girls, with changing friendships and heightened emotions. Obviously not all girls but yes I think it is a thing at the end of primary.

I think girls this age can be a bit twatish to each other. You have some that are pushing to be more grown up while others are happy playing with more childish things and then you have the dynamics of them trying to find their way without having fully developed emotions or social skills. I think this age always has the potential to be a bit challenging socially.

The grown up look is a different set of issues and can be quite peer group specific. I remember being really shocked to go to an NCT friend’s child’s party at 7 and the girls were dressed quite differently to the girls at my daughter’s class. I couldn’t really put my finger on it as both classes had kids in sequins and party dresses but one set was shorter and tighter and a bit more grown up looking and the other more child like.

So most then😅

My daughter is in Y4 too. She’s getting a little bit more sassy at home but definitely no comments about dirty looks from friends, crop tops or skincare. Girls in her class all seem to be on good terms with each other too. I hope it continues this way until Y13! 😆

Y4 was bad, Y5 is worse. Lots of the girls are getting phones, tiktok, skincare and makeup. DD isn't allowed any of the above. It's caused massive divisions between the girls in the class. Mind you the parents aren't any better based on the class WhatsApp. I've left it on permanent mute recently because it's just one ridiculous drama after the next.

Not at our school
(Private school if that’s relevant)

Yeah unfortunately DD had problems at that age with "frenemy" classmates. It was an awful time, she was so miserable.

She was saved by the COVID lockdowns, which gave her an escape, afterwards she was a little bit olderband wiser, and had made friends with other kids via online gaming so she was not bothered so much.

Ive got a year 6 girl, luckily she has a lovely little group of friends and they all stick together. But some of the other girls are constantly falling out and being horrible to each other. The skincare and make up has been ongoing since year 4 with certain girls. Unfortunately I think some of the parents encourage it as they want their children to be seen as more grown up, these are also the girls who got mobile phones before everyone else. Apparently there's been a year group what's app group going since year 4 which has been full of bullying and girls being horrible.