It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

You misunderstand my point,
it doesn’t matter wether she wants to marry him or not.
my point was that he doesn’t want to marry her….therefore he doesn’t want to be financially tied to her legally, why would she share half a bloody house with someone who took this standpoint ?

Couldn’t agree more - sound advice, I hope the OP follows it

Exactly.

This is what foolish women do, to show their commitment.🙄
Completely acting against their own, and their children's best interests.

Your relative needs to do this legally using a solicitor. So it is clear who the house is being gifted to.
Then it will be clear who the house belongs to - you or you and DP together.
If it’s you only then you will have to make the decision bout putting DP on the deeds if the mortgage is paid off.
But he may have some legal rights anyway as such a long standing residence in the house.
So legal advice is probably a good idea.

He’s saving this whole time, whereas you’re a spender. He could buy his own place, I’m surprised he hasn’t.

However, reading some of the comments on here I get your points about my children losing part of their inheritance. It's going to get signed over to me anyway in the first instance, I think I will just leave it at that and see what happens after that.

I think this is a good decision. You're not married, he's been paying rent, not a mortgage, and your relatives have a right to gift you what they want and exclude him. They're protecting you (and your children). Not him. As is their right.

Now that you have clarified that all other finances are separate, I think that is the best decision. He cannot expect to join finances on a home unless all other finances are joined. And the only way to do that properly is to get married.

He will have no legal rights to his girlfriends house because they both rented it before she owned it.
Tenants don't acquire ownership rights to houses they rent,no matter how long they are there for.

There is a renters' rights bill going through Parliament now, I believe. This may be what is prompting the owner of the house to gift it to the OP to get ahead of any potential rights he could be anticipating.

Actually, an interesting point which I'm not sure anyone has picked up on.
If he is a legal tenant, with a signed contract, ownership of that contract has transferred from relative to OP, the contract can't just be torn up without his agreement, and he has tenant rights - no fault evictions, etc.
I'm sure it won't be an issue as he'll agree, for the free rent, but perhaps he could be awkward about it.

In general I agree with the principle that you should keep the house in your name. Except that your partner has been prevented for 14 years from paying into a mortgage and getting a place of his own (whether with or without you). If i was him I'd be pretty unimpressed that you can walk off into the sunset with a house and he gets nothing.

You have already been through one divorce that left you financially precarious OP. Think of your children. Leave a will that gives your partner the right to stay in the property if you die but protect your asset.

He hasn't been prevented at all. He's made his own choice not to do so. His own choice to rent with OP.
She's not walking off with a house, she's been given a house and he will get to live in it for FREE. How is that nothing? No housing costs at all is a huge win.

Who prevented him?
What gun was put to his head to prevent him?
Ridiculous.
He has had low rent for 14 years.
His choice.
What EXACTLY did she do to stop him making alternative plans to buy a home?

He could have walked away any time.
He has savings because of low rent.

Her inheritance is nothing to do with him.

You didn't read the OP's comments. The reason why they didn't buy together was due to OP's financial situation, so they were unable to.

As a result of this OP's partner chose to build a life with her in this house, paid his fair share, and they are still (by all accounts) in a long term commited relationship.

He may not be 'entitled' to anything by law, but this is not about entitlement, or who owes who what, it's about what is fair for all parties.

OP can of course chose to completely shaft him legally, but is that fair after 14 years? No. How awful.

Nothing fair about handing him half her house

Exactly this

he would have every right to feel he’s been treated badly here and every right to end the relationship over it. If he posted here for advice (as a woman, obviously) he’d be told exactly that.

op is being encouraged to adhere to the letter of the law and posters don’t give a shit about the impact on her partner, or her relationship.

Having read your latest update, I think you don’t need to rush into giving him anything. As others have said, he will benefit from living rent free and therefore he will be able to save more of his money thanks to you and your kind relative. If you were still together far into the future and things were different you could put an amount for him in your will and split the rest between your children if you wanted to.

And looks like now he will have No Rent? He is doing well, doesn"t need to get half of an inherited house.