It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

I would keep it to yourself and your kids to be honest. His kids will inherit from his mother…? Women always need a back up plan in my mind. I wish I had one xx

If you're happy and love him, just get married OP. Then continue.

You are not married. This is your house. Keep it.

This house hasn't been given to the OP because she's paid rent for it.
It's being given to her because she is a family member.
Landlords maybe generous enough to charge below market rent, but even then it's often because they want to incentivize a good tenant to stay, bad tenants are bad for business. In other words they are acting out of self interest.
Landlords dont give away valuable assets.

OP said 'I think I might have to drag him up the aisle!' which seems to suggest he wont engage on the subject of becoming a financial unit.
But he's sitting there in anticipation of a free house.
Spend a bit of time/money/effort doing the place up and BINGO what a payout, nicely nicely, and he's still young & free.

Ignore the rent - it's irrelevant, and skewing your judgement
Imagine you were gifted an entirely different house by your relative - would you share that with your partner 50:50?
You have neither of you 'earned' it - it's a lucky windfall.
If my partner had been given / inherited a house I would have been delighted for them - and the benefit for us as a couple would be huge without me needing to be on the deeds.
I would advise not putting anyone else on the deeds for now - maybe as your lives evolve that might make sense later, but just because they've also paid rent is not a good reason.

Precisely this.

Legal market value rent is legal market
value rent. Your partner is owed no share of a house they contributed rent to. They got
their share, by living in it during that period.

The house is being gifted to you by a family member. Whilst you might feel it’s equitable to add them onto ownership it is definitely not a requirement by any stretch and could be a foolish financial decision in the long term.

Personally, I’d take the house in my full name and leave your partner ownership or a right to reside when you die. If you stay together forever then their position is unaffected and they live there with you and can remain in the future. But if in years to come you split for any reason, your asset is still your own and you can change/amend your will to reflect whatever beneficiary you wish.

Bingo!

I would only give right of residence to a spouse. He's her boyfriend, she does not owe him somewhere to live, she should be free to leave the house to a family member when she dies.

He can use the free accomodation she provides to save his own money.

This x 1000. Did none of you read that the OP has DC of her OWN and had a bad divorce. They do not share any children. Why would she give away her children’s inheritance????

He should have bought his own house over the past 14 years. Honestly, how are women so financially illiterate???

I'd say OP has an expectation that this relationship will last and that's a big part of why she's willing to be so generous to him.
Surely if HE thought it was going to last he'd be keen to get married?

Legally, he has no entitlement to the property. Morally, given it was your bad credit that prevented you getting a joint mortgage, I would consider giving him a share. But be smart about how you do it - you don't want to be in a position where you have to sell because you've split and you can't afford to buy him out.

Her bad credit didn’t prevent him from buying a property lo these many years.

Imagine if he decides he doesnt need to work any more because there's no rent to pay, and then you end up having to pay for everything. He says he'll be a househusband, but he ends up leaving it all for you.
You'd be giving him too much power/leverage over you OP.

Definitely not. Family gifts and inheritances should only be shared if the receiver wishes too, and only they know their partner.

Unless you put in straight into a trust.

Only read her comment about dragging him up the aisle after I posted. Personally I’d give him absolutely nothing.

But if OP feels morally conflicted and feels totally
obligated to give him a benefit of some type or kind, a future based reassurance is a much better option than giving half a property to him now, as a will or a right of residence is very easily changed in the event of a relationship breakdown.

But generally agree, he’s a boyfriend who paid rent. He’s owed nada! ----

Literally says partner

If you make a gift to your partner of half the value of the house, then if you split up you will either have to sell the house or pay them the value of their share.
If you have children together, if one of you has taken a hit to their career and earning potential in order to provide childcare, that might change how you view things.
Personally, I don’t see why a gift to you should automatically be shared with your partner, and the person making the gift might have their own intentions too. Has your partner shared everything with you? Is there a reason why you haven’t married?
There’s a lot to consider, and not enough information to form a proper opinion.

Nobody stopped him buying a house.
Her family gave them the use of a house with a 50% rent discount for 15 years, boohoo.
He has done very well.

If you are not married and don’t have children together then personally I think you would be absolutely bonkers to put it in his name too.

Exactly. No marriage, no marital perks, that includes not getting to share in her inheritance.

The house belongs to her, and then later hopefully her daughter. Not her boyfriend.

I'd be horrified that he refused to get married, but now is being grabby over her inheritance.

I feel sorry for people who haven't experienced this kind of relationship

A lot of people have. Until it all goes to shit.

It's dreadfully selfish to steal your inheritance from your daughter to placate a man who won't even marry you.

It's not your boyfriend's house. It's yours. Then your daughter's. So tired of women who dance attendance around men their whole lives, to the detriment of themselves and their own children.