It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

Maybe the OP should have been paying all the rent and for all renovations for all of these years if she knew she was going to do this.

Why? That would have made him a terrible freeloader.
He's already benefited from a low rent for many years. Now you're suggesting he should have lived rent free entirely?

She literally says she’d have to drag him up the aisle?

Agree with @Minjou. Bad financial decision giving away half a house under these circumstances.

the rent is irrelevant. She’s being given the home because she’s family not because she’s paid rent, landlords don’t go around giving people houses once they pay off a certain value. Of course he would pay rent, he lived there.!

Yes but the the OP has stated that she knew she was to be given this home as a gift eventually. That should have been something she discussed with her partner from the get go.

If they were both renting a home that wasn’t from a family member they would pay everything equally because no one was to gain anything from the home but the facts of this situation is that the OP is going to gain housing security and will benefit financially in the future from being given this house and she should have been paying more/all of the rent from day one knowing that.

She was happy enough for her partner to pay for renovations to the home knowing one day she would benefit from that when it came to selling it and her cashing in.

Because if the genders were reversed people would say the male new home owner was wrong to let his female partner pay for rent and renovations all these years on the home knowing full well he was going to own it and now leave the female partner in a precarious situation where she had no financial claim on it.

He’s also benefited from below market rate rent, stability. He can do renovations because he knows they won’t be asked to leave, and benefits from living in a nicer house, he now gets to live rent free for the rest of their relationship. He could use that money to have an investment of his own. He only loses out if they break up, and if they break up and he owns half her families home, he takes half the value with him. Why would you put yourself in that position where you lose half the value of your inheritance just to be kind to your DP.

It was his choice to not go and buy his own home, it was always going to be her family gifting her a house, they weren’t making installments, they were paying rent.

If OP was considering charging him rent I’d say well that’s a bit harsh, but giving him 50% of a house would be foolish. People split up. She’ll be back to renting as she wouldn’t be able to get a mortgage and he’d be off with £00000s buying a new house

This is a tough one. You couldn't buy because of you. That to me means that if you could, you would have together and would have owned a home, and he would have equity if you split. Yes it would give you more protection if it was just yours, but your OH sounds nice, you have a good partnership and you dont think you will spit up. If you dont split it, your relationship is highly likely to at best, be changed forever, and at worst, end. If i was your partner and you didnt split it with me, i would be seriously wondering how I could protect myself if we split. Which would be fair enough. you could just chuck him out.

He will be living rent free in that house for as long as he's with her. I think that more than covers any DIY or renovations he may have done / financially contributed to.

OP- keep that house in your name only.
Look after yourself and your kids first. Trust me, he will be looking after himself first.

No, they wouldn’t.

The genders are irrelevant. This is basically OP’s inheritance, and inheritances aren’t marital property, and they certainly need not be shared with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Boyfriend has received housing at a fair price. He will receive free housing going forward if he stays with OP, and he can use his spare cash to buy his own investment property. That’s plenty of perks for him.

One question stands out above all others for me.

Was the rent, maintenance and improvements supposed to go towards buying the house?

At any point if you discussed this then i agree you have an obligation to make it right financially. Not an assumption, not a hint but a proper adult conversation where he pointed out he would like to buy a house with you, you couldnt get a mortgage and then you BOTH subsequently agreed to renting this house with the view to owning it.

If you havent and he has assumed that the rent would go towards the house then you have zero obligation. In fact you have an obligation to protect your childrens inheritance.

He should now live rent and maintenance free in your house able to save for himself. Maybe he could buy his own property with all his spare income.

This a million times over.

Yours, assuming you're not married.

Was it a gift to both of you or just the OP?
If a gift is made and the giver dies within 7 years it becomes liable for tax. So bear that in mind.
You can own a property as tenants in common with varying levels of ownership which might be something to look at eg. 70% v 30%.
But your other half may see you both as a long term couple. Rather more than a girlfriend/boyfriend barely any strings.

If the bad financial decisions were your side and you have been in it the same amount of time and contributed the same amount of £, I'd say joint ownership.

No we wouldn't.

I’d say it’s a gift to you from your family. However, you could leave it in your will to him?

You could go 25/75. If the rent you have paid so far covers half the value, give your DP half of that. You have the half you have paid and the “bonus” 50% you are being gifted.

Does he want to marry?

Been with my DP coming up 16 years, 2 DC and a false engagement.
He doesn't really want to get married.
I do.

Your partner would have needed to pay rent wherever they were living. Rent is not a mortgage. You are being gifted the house from a family member therefore the house is yours. If the house didn't belong to your family, your rental payments have no impact on you eventually owning the house so I'd try to reframe the way you're seeing it.

Fair point, a lot of landlord"s wouldn"t have allowed them to do that though, if this landlord gave permission then did an eviction that is very sneaky, lesson learned for you friend I hope.

It’s amazing how many people seem to assume that if couples aren’t married it’s because the man wouldn’t get married. Also, lots of comments that seem to think he might leave at anytime, just because they haven’t gone through a wedding ceremony; plenty of people walk out of marriages as well. Almost as if some women think that if they have managed to get a man to marry them, their relationship is better in some way. This couple have been together 15 years, which is a lot longer than many marriages last and they obviously are committed and see their future together.

Also the way some people have talked about the rent paid previously and going forward, as if they were housemates rather than a couple.

The reason people mention marriage is because the house would become a marital asset, it wouldn't matter who's name it was in, so it is relevant to the conversation, of course marriages break up but there are legal protections in place for those eventualities, there is no protection whatsoever for partners.

IMO it would be foolish to put the house 50/50 at this point as it doesn't need to be, he can live there rent free for as long as they are together and she can make provisions for him in a will for his half if anything happens to her, so as long as they are together he will always be guaranteed his half of the house that he has helped pay for.

The ONLY reason to put it as 50/50 names is a fall back for him for if they split up, but if they split up would she want him taking half the house? So it makes absolutely no sense to sign half of it over now, as a good will gesture she could make a stipulation that if they were to separate he will be given the amount of money he has put in over the last 15 years.. that is a more than fair arrangement.

Paying rent for 15 years doesn't earn you a house at the end of it, OP has basically inherited that house and it is hers to do with as she wishes.