It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

It should be obligatory to read the OPs posts before commenting...

15 years together
No children together, they have children separately (raised together)
OP had the money problems after a divorce - not clear if there are still problems, but if the divorce was before the OP got together with her partner, we are talking 15 years so hopefully not
Why "when" you break up, not "if". They've been together 15 years, no sign of any breakup on the horizon

When I owned the property myself (not a gift) and DP lived in he was the named beneficiary of said property in my will. If we'd split up he'd have got nothing but if I died he wasn't homeless.

50 / 50 100%. I suspect your partnership would be over if it wasn’t. He’s paid into this as much as you have. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night taking the whole thing!

Exactly.

Nothing stopped him from leveraging his creditworthiness to purchase an investment property all these years.

Rediculous. Read her responses. Totally unfair

Personally with my partner I’d either do 50/50 or work out how much they’d put into the property and assign them a percentage that was at least equal to that especially as it was your bad credit history that stopped you getting a mortgage together.

They would. Especially if she helped pay for renovations.

It this case I’d say 50/50.

To keep it in your name only I would say you should pay them 50% of the rent back.

You need to make a will when you become owner. Do you have children? You could leave it to them with the proviso that your partner can continue to live there with stipulations around if he remarries. That may give him some feeling of security

50 / 50 100%. I suspect your partnership would be over if it wasn’t. He’s paid into this as much as you have. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night taking the whole thing!

But if they'd been living in and paying rent in a different house for all these years, and OP had suddenly been gifted this house by FAMILY then it would be solely hers.
I can't, in any universe, see why he should be entitled to 50% of it.
Her family gave it to her. They've both been sharing the (below the going rate) rent for years so he's benefitted from that - and moving forward he'll pay no rent at all. No way he should own 50% of it. I'm cross even thinking about it!

I’d be jealous but ultimately it’s a gift. Neither of them earned this gift. It would be bad financial planning to give someone half a house. They will both benefit from having no rent going forward. If they want to tie themselves together financially they should get married

Yeah, I really wouldn't.

People are arguing that if it was a woman we’d all be saying she should get half of the house but I also think if we had OP on here in 5 years time saying he’s on the deeds but it was a gift from her family and he’s been cheating on her and is now telling her she needs to sell the house to buy him out and she’s not going to be able to afford to buy again with only half the value, everyone would be telling her she was an idiot for giving a non married partner half her house!

Why? They’ve received a place to live all these years in exchange for rent. That’s how it works.

They are being gifted the house purely because of how much they have paid in rent. It’s OPs fault they couldn’t get a mortgage together. Why should only OP benefit when both have paid.

Based on the 15yrs in the relationship and being together the entire 14yrs in the house both paying rent, and both paying for renovations then the gift should be shared equally.

I’d say 50/50 share for you and partner as tenants in common. That way your 50% goes to your children (not him), and his 50% goes to his children (not you).

YOUR family gave the house to rent for 50% it should have been.
He has had the benefit of it.
The house is yours.
You are not married.
You do not have children together.

Do not be foolish.
This is your inheritance.

Women are ALWAYS foolish in these situations.
Men are mostly not.

No way should you give him half a house when he has had the benefit of cheap rent for years.

Be sensible. This is YOUR childrens inheritance too, from YOUR side of the family.

You could give him the gift of rent free until his contribution to the windows is paid.

OP should pay him back what he's put into the house. Agreed.
But handing over 50% of it is not a good plan in my book.
I know that some people here think that 15 years together means you're pretty much in it for life. That is so not true. OP has been given this house and it's hers.
Pay him back for the windows and doors he's contributed to but for goodness sake, the house is yours! You will always have it when things go pear shaped.
You might NEED it if things go pear shaped.

Life doesn't always turn out how we hope and imagine. Shit happens.
Don't put him in a position of making you sell the house to pay him out if things go wrong. It's your family who gave you a house. He just lucked out on not having to pay rent in the future. That's enough.

It's yours. You are only really getting it because you are family. The gift is simular to inheritance which is not expected to be split even if you were married. If they were just a friendly landlord they wouldn't be gifting you a hoyse for a thanks for doing it up a bit.

The partner has already benefited from secure housing & paying less than market rent to this point. Now they will benefit from living with you rent free. This could give them the chance to save up and get their own investment. Maybe you could then go half's for a bigger home in the future. If you end up marrying it will end up a joint asset anyway

He isn’t legally entitled, but ethically if you’re partners you should share any kind of windfall that you both earned equally.

She is being gifted a house from a family member. If he lived there without her, there would be no gifting of a house

You said you did think youd eventually be given the house, was that from the beginning, and did he have reason to think the same?
If that was always the expected outcome I think it would be quite unfair after 14 years not to share it. How was the rent split, 50/50?

If you’d have to drag him up the aisle I’d be cautious about gifting him half a house. That’s your security in old age, now- if you stay together it’s both your security, but if he owns half and you split up, you lose all that. By all means make a will stipulating his right to stay in the house should you die, but I’d then be leaving it in trust to the children (probably both sets as you’ve raised them together).

As pp have said, he now has a rent-free life- that’s massive. He could quite easily save the amount he has always paid as rent, as his own security against you splitting up with him. He doesn’t need to own half the house as well.

People are arguing that if it was a woman we’d all be saying she should get half of the house but I also think if we had OP on here in 5 years time saying he’s on the deeds but it was a gift from her family and he’s been cheating on her and is now telling her she needs to sell the house to buy him out and she’s not going to be able to afford to buy again with only half the value, everyone would be telling her she was an idiot for giving a non married partner half her house!

Yes. Quite. Totally agree. Everybody assuming that a 15 year partnership is, like, total commitment and it will never end. It can and it does. And then OP would be kicking her own arse for putting herself in the position of her despised ex owning half her house. HER house!! Oof. Making me cross.

They are being gifted the house purely because of how much they have paid in rent. It’s OPs fault they couldn’t get a mortgage together. Why should only OP benefit when both have paid

They are not being gifted the house. OP is being gifted the house.