It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

He was paying rent in their shared home. Most people can’t pay rent and a mortgage out of their wages

He could have thought about himself & his kids & bought a place.

They could have lived in his house and OP paid him rent.

He could have purchased a property and rented it out, with the income covering the mortgage, leaving him able to pay rent to the landlord he's had in common with the OP.

And frankly, not everyone is skint. I could easily afford rent and a mortgage, and I'm only one person. They are two people with two incomes. And as they have been together 15 years, it's likely they are at least in their late 30s and approaching peak earning power.

Op could you have afforded the rent on your own?

Has he ever had a mortgage/owned a house?

Ooooof so basically... You may has well have owned and been charging him rent. Hmm. There's no right answer I cna see why he'd be pissed.

But they don't have their own home because of her.... So he didn't mind they couldn't get a home because of her bad debt, paid equal rent, then he ends up with nothing and she has a mortgage free house. I would absolutely be so bitter I couldn't live there 😭🤣

how many children each?
Future inheritance could be tricky if its your family and he has, say 3 kids and you have 1, as the assumption would be that your family's gift gets split 4 ways with their only grandchild getting 1/4, rather than the whole house.
Or, god forbid, something happened to you and your partner remarried, and then your family's gift gets given to a second wife.
Perhaps you need to have these conversations with the family member and see where they would like this to go down the line, so that if you do put both names on the deeds, you protect your child/ren

@Sugargliderwombat I didn’t say they should get nothing!

It’s very difficult with no background of what they earn, what the house is worth etc.

If the house is worth the same as 2 x 2 beds then 50:50 may be fair and feasible.

You need to talk to the relative. They are gifting the house to you clearly as want to put it in your name. They haven’t said it’s for both of you. You also need to consider inheritance at some point and the fact that you don’t have shared children. I wouldn’t. Protect yourself and your DC.

Fifteen years? I'd go with a shared deed. I mean, if you've shared everything else for fifteen years, including childcare, why would you not share this?

A thought experiment.

Imagine that the week after you acquired the house and kept its ownership to yourself, he inherited five million pounds. Would you think well of him if he said, "This is my five million. Nothing to do with you. I shall be buying a couple of flats to rent out, and a flash car on which you won't be insured. Now we're both secure. Excellent. Your round, isn't it?"

All of this. It's not just about today.

How would OP's parents (or whoever) feel if the fruits of their lifetime labour end up owned by her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend, wife, widow or kids?

How would her kids feel to see a large chunk of their 'generational wealth' belonging to near-strangers if the relationship breaks up or if OP, god forbid, should die?

If she relieves him from the obligation to pay future housing costs, he should be able to purchase a separate property as an investment for his family.

I wouldn’t get married now! I would accept the gift and continue to live there with DP.

Relative has gifted to you, not him.

It’s your house. You’re not married.

You could accept the gift of the house and keep it in your name but acknowledge that DP is at a disadvantage here and look for way to even things out. Eg, once you stop paying rent you should have more disposable income between you and some of this could go into paying the mortgage on a small property in his name, which would be his if you split up.

Your family member is gifting you the property keep it in your name as partner and yourself are not married you must keep records from when house transfers to you of any payment your partner make’s towards the house I would presume that they will try to stake a claim against the property if you separated. I also wouldn’t be surprised if they propose within a few years as that’s the easiest way to force you to share your asset. You need to think with your head on this.

Are you happy for all the children to inherit equally - his and yours? That's relevant. If so, just get married much better solution.

But she is sharing it with him, he will live it in rent free from now on. He has also had the benefit of presumably cheap rent and security whilst renting. Not everyone gets to stay in the same rental for 15 years. You often have to move on.

They will both benefit from not paying rent.

It should be spilt 50/50!

That's quite nasty of you not spilt it with him when he been paying all the same costs. If you're not going to split it, then you 100% owe him back all the repair cost he's paid.
It's disgustingly selfish to have been expecting him to spilt costs on "our" house for repairs and maintenance, but when it comes to ownership it's "your" house.
Has he also been paying more towards this house than you?

Correct

many posters have said they’d be extremely unhappy in his position and would consider the relationship. I would too if I’m honest.

op can keep the house but she should bear in mind that her partner may well feel that is unfair and it may lead to the end of the relationship. I think he’d have a point.

I have a some questions about potential inheritance tax on this gift , I hope someone more knowledgeable can answer please.

Let’s say the Op is gifted the house, it’s worth £300,000. She then puts it in joint names with her partner , 50:50.

In two years time, the relative who gifted the house dies and their estate is liable for inheritance tax .

Am I correct in thinking that the Op is liable for the £42, 800 inheritance tax as it’s a failed PET? But her parther wouldn’t have to pay anything.

And that even if they have already separated and sold the house ( as they would need to, unless the Op has £150k in the bank to buy him out ), the Op will still have to pay that £42,800 tax herself .

So her ex would have £150,000 and she would have £107,200.

Another scenario might be if the relative goes into a care home and the gift of the previously rented property is seen as deprivation of assets. Does that affect the recipient of the gift or the one who gave the gift ?

Just your name.
I come from a divorced background and ex terrible with money and took money from joint assets, believe me he was not the type when we purchased the property. You just never know.

keep it safe and secure, if you are still together then all is well. Also your gifted may only want to you and I think you have to take this into account. Personally I’d go the full hog and speak to a solicitor to ensure all is well, and yes I would do this now with my lovely steady current H, because I learnt the hard way.

Only put it in both names if you’re married. I share a house with my husband but it was entirely in my name before marriage. Don’t sacrifice a small fortune to be polite

It depends on so many things. Here are just a few things to consider-
how long have you been together?
do you have children together?
are the debts still bad?
what happens when you break up? Are you happy for your partner to have half of the house?
can you just list them as a beneficiary instead?

Do not go 50/50 with this person. It’s irrelevant whether the partner is male or female!

If your ‘partner’ is crap with money, they could get into debt and end up forcing you to sell the house to reduce their debt and you’d effectively lose your home and security.

It's been 15 years. The house should be both of yours.

Er he's not the one with the money issues