It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

Partner or married? Legally theres a difference here.

But I'd follow your family members wishes tbh.

It's a gift to.you from your family.

Rent is not a pay as you go affair, it was rent. Neither of you have bought the house. It's just yours.

I would keep it in your name. You were paying rent to a family member as was your partner, there's no expectation that at the end of paying rent, either of you should get a free house. Your family member has generously decided to give you something - lovely! You will probably stop asking your partner for rent (or will you? Maybe my answer would change if there's an ongoing mortgage to pay) so they will benefit that way.
My answer would change if your partner is e.g. unable to work because they are looking after your joint children. In that case, I think you owe them a bit more security now you're in a position to offer it. But assuming that's not the case, they get to love for free in your house, win win.

If the roles were reversed and the male partner's family were giving it to him then a woman shouldn't expect to be on the deeds? I think that MN would disagree!

My feeling is do NOT place the property in both your names. If you want to do that then get married. Otherwise if you are single keep it separate. No one knows what might come down the tracks, and that security (as a singleton/partner) could prove to be invaluable.

(Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting)

Whose poor financial decisions were these that had an impact on your chances of getting a mortgage? I would still want the house in my name only (if I wasn't married) as it's my relative's gift, but if those bad decisions were my partner's then I'd definitely be keeping a firmer hold on it. I wouldn't emphasise that fact tactlessly but I'd be influenced by it for sure.

This

its always different rules on things like this depending on the sexes involved

I think if I’d paid rent, done work, likved in and looked after a house then my partner said it was going to be all theirs, I’d feel that was extremely unfair

if you are married it doesn’t matter whose name it is in.

only if you are not is there a decision to make.

It's a gift to you. Your partner will benefit by not having to pay rent going forward. Rent already paid is just that, paying for having a roof over your heads - you don't buy equity in your landlord's property when you pay rent.

It's yours OP. You have been gifted it. Had you not been renting this house, you would have been renting elsewhere.

What is the future for the relationship? I think this makes a difference in terms of how you deal with this.

I think I'd take into account how much money both partners had put into the renovations of the house (not the rent - just whatever you've both paid to do up the house) and also I would be considering how much physical work/labour both partners had put into it. Also as someone suggested above - depending on whihc of the partners was not able to get a mortgage would also be a factor.

However - the family member is giving the house to YOU so their wishes also need to be considered.

If you just put the house in your name - if you aren't married that puts your partner in a vulnerable financial position so I can see why he wants to be on the deeds.

This sounds hard hearted but this is your future financial security.

The gift is to you. You are not married.

Do not give away a six figure sum, that would be insane.

What would all the posters on this thread advise a woman in his position to do? I’m pretty sure it would be “insist on going on the deeds” and “leave him if he keeps it to himself”

If I was the relative I think I would want it to be in your name only.
Are you married? Who made the bad financial decision that prevents you from getting a joint mortgage?

The previous rent is irrelevant, legally. It’s a gift, to you.

It's being gifted to you. Put it in your name. I assume you aren't married and your partner has poor credit? You don't want him to be able to borrow against the house if he owned a share.

Tell him your family member will only agree to put it in your name or you could lose the house if you split up. He gets to live there rent free as long as you are together.

I think it depends on who prevented you from getting a mortgage.

So if you split up tomorrow he would walk away with 50% share of a house that has been gifted to you? Not a chance would I put it in his name too. As PP have said if you had of been renting from a stranger he would see no return on his rent, the same thing is true here. I would not expect a partner to do the same for me either.

The house will be yours not your partners. No one pays rent expecting to be gifted the property. You’ve both paid rent to enable you to live there.
If they’ve made poor financial decisions and are not eligible for a mortgage, please don’t financially tie yourself to this person by putting them on the deeds. They haven’t inherited, you have.
You never know when the relationship might end and you need the security of owning a home. If you put them on the deeds you’d have to sell it and give them half if you separate. That isn’t why your relative is gifting you this asset.

Yours
If you don't split then it doesn't matter. If you do split you've got safety for you and your kids

Your family gifted it to you.
Whether or not you have paid for improvements, you had no idea it would end up being your property. So out if the equation
Your partner hasn't bothered to marry you. Too bad eh ?

The house is yours. Presumably your relative doesn't know or love your dp like they do you so why would they gift him a house?

Do a will considering your partner’s needs if you die, but keep it in your name. They have a rent-free home for as long as they stay with you, that’s enough of a bonus.

No, not at all. Man or woman, they've got no right to be on the deeds. I see it in the same way as having the house received as inheritance. The fact they've paid rent is a red herring.

For sure