It's ours not mine - or is it?

[ohthiscouldgetmessy]

Help. This is more for advise than AIBU really. I have rented a house from a family member with my partner for many years, we have probably paid around 50% the current value of the house in rent. We have also spent money on a few bits that needed doing.

Now, here is the tricky bit. I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it. What we have done, we have done together and will have added value to the house. So essentially what we have paid in rent would have covered the initial purchase price of the property when we moved in. (Due to bad financial decisions by one party we were unable to get a joint mortgage so just continued renting).

Partner is under impression the house will be ours. It is only going to be put into my name as its my family member who owns it. Should I put the house into both our names as we have paid the same into it or would you be looking at the rental paid, expenses paid, take that away from current value and work out percentage? Or just keep it 50/50.

I think 50/50 but want other opinions.

I just think it’s a bit of an “f you”…if you were bad financially and that stopped your partner from being able to get a mortgage and on the property ladder to then basically step over them and get the house gifted to just you!

There are some variables here.

But the most important one is, what does the person gifting the house want?

yes I assumed, and they have been the whole time, 15 years together 14 years in the house together, we moved in at the same time

we are not married

It's a gift to you, you haven't bought it jointly. Whatever you decide doesn't change that.

Don't be foolish, put it in your name. If you stay together then it's irrelevant isn't it. If you split you can choose how much to give him, if anything, at the time.

That's why I said it depends on the circumstances. But experience has taught me to be very cautious.
My friend gifted her son and his partner a substantial amount of money(more or less all her savings) so they could buy a house. They broke up about a year later and the partner who had contributed nothing had half of the sale from the house.

If you split will your family member be upset that you've lost half the house?

not necessarily true.

In OP case its more complex but courts take into account multiple things especially if a house was inheritance, family gift or bought before the marriage. The non named person would have to PROVE they have an interest in the house such as having paid a mortgage, added value, are vulnerable and dependent, are the main caregiver of a child with interest in the house or have taken a hit to their personal finances for family reasons that benefited both making them dependent (like quitting/reducing work to be SAHP to save on childcare etc...).

Getting married doesn't automatically make everything you own individually magically becomes 50/50 for no reason. You can straight up disinherit a spouse from your house that you own outright.

Not necessarily.

If they are not married then it should stay in op's name.

Does this mean that your partner no longer needs to pay rent? If that is the case, can you support them in putting their money aside and saving for a deposit for their own place if they feel very strongly about owning property (if they could get a mortgage that is)
But no, I don't think it is 'our' house, it is 'your' house, a gift to you from your family. That is a bitter pill for your partner perhaps, and they might not like it much, but you do need to think of yourself and keep your asset as yours. You never know when you might need it most.

Do you have children? Has one of you been put at a disadvantage in any way by providing for children or eachother?

You said someone made bad financial decisions, was that you? And your partner has then been stuck renting when they could have purchased if it wasn't for your debt or whatever?

Not married

work we have done has been necessity, we offered to do the work, I can't say what we had done as it will be outing but new windows was one thing amongst others, not just say decorating and carpets

Unless there's other factors, I'd go 50/50. He needs security just as much as you. Even if you did split, would you want him left homeless?

After 14 years of paying and upkeep and "I am being gifted the house because we have paid so much in rent and what we have done to it." I would absolutely want to be on the deeds too. I would be happy to do 1/3 vs 2/3.

If you go 50/50 you could lose your home in the event of a split but your partner HAS contributed to this so perhaps rightly so. One version shafts him and the other puts your security in doubt

Really hard to call but I would go with security

Honestly, I think morally it's 50/50 since you've paid for it 50/50. Legally it will be yours if your relative transfers it into your sole name. Why aren't you married? Any other assets or children to consider? If you split in 10 years and had to give him 50% of the value could you afford to buy him out? Does he have a good enough income to accrue decent savings once the rent payments stop? Do you see this as a rest of your life relationship? Does he have a pension that's bigger than yours? Different earning capacity?

14 years! If i was your dp I would be absolutely heartbroken if the house wasnt shared. However I am assuming it's a serious long term relationship very similar in outlook to being married but perhaps your relationship it not like that and you are much more independent from each other?

personally I wouldn't live with someone that long without the serious legal commitment of marriage.

Is there a reason you aren't married?

I was in this position & was glad that I kept it in my name as DP cheated after 16 years & is now Ex. You can leave it to him in your will & then it makes no difference.

If your partner had just paid rent I wouldn't say they were automatically entitled to anything, as they'd have paid rent living anywhere and not expected anything at the end.

However the amount they've contributed to renovations etc IS relevant, IMO, as I see that as more of a 'stake' in the property.

I also agree with PP who said your relative's wishes are relevant here, have you asked them about your partner being named?

Was it you who made the bad financial decisions? @ohthiscouldgetmessy

I feel like quite a few questions are being avoided here...

It’s a gift to you and only you. If your family member wanted you both to own it, they would have said so.

If you are married you could leave the house direct to your children rather than spouse, as long as spouse was suitably housed / supported. In a divorce the house would be considered part of the marital pot but its not cut and dried.

OP - the contributions thus far have been cheap rent.

The house is being given to you.

Put it in your name.

Your partner will benefit from being rent-free henceforth and can use that money to build their own security.