Big fall out - who is (most) in the wrong?

[Dibrew]

I would welcome opinions on this situation which is currently playing out.

Person A is a masseuse, working part time evenings out of a leisure centre attached to a secondary school.

Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them.

Person B tells Person C of what was said by Person A. The session was terminated due to him offering money towards the end of this for sexual services.

Person C’s partner strongly denies this. Person C accuses Person A of breaking data protection rules and says Person B is attempting to shit stir.

Person A needs to report it to the leisure centre where she works and ban the client. Their partner or friend didn't need to know.

And the consensus is because he's a man, he must've done it.

You believe that there is client confidentiality between a masseuse and client that extends to the client being able to sexually proposition the masseuse?

Are you legally trained?

I am not any of those involved. I am friends with B&C and am caught in the middle. C spoke to me about this yesterday and I don’t know if B knows I’m aware.

Reading these replies have backed up my belief I need to make her look at the facts and understand it is very much possibly (likely) her Husband did do what was alleged.

Her main reason for not believing it is that he isn’t ‘into’ what has been suggested (apologies if TMI but A’s allegation was very precise - that he offered her £70 for a ‘prostate massage’ and handjob). The fact that there is this level of detail adds to the likely events IMO.

I completely disprove of how B went about it. She called C when she was in the house with her Husband so he was aware almost immediately.

I don’t know if it has been reported to the leisure centre, for my friends sake I kind of hope not given it’s linked to the school where her three children attend.

EdithBond · Today 19:42
Interesting one.
Person A has clearly breached client confidentiality.

I've heard it all now - client confidentiality for a sleaze bag?? I don't think so!

Did person C do it?

The statistics do point that way unfortunately. As does the fact that he only told his wife about her coming on to him after she'd heard about his reported behaviour.

But that's not even the issue here. The issue is the sheer number of ill informed, problematic posters taking about gossip, defamation, GDPR, confidentiality clauses and so on.

It's such terrible and inaccurate advice.

If you are sexually assaulted or propositioned in the workplace you are free to tell whoever you want. There is no GDPR or confidentiality agreements that cover this. It's not gossip to talk about being sexually assaulted/propositioned (if it's not true, it's a lie, but it's never gossip).

A good friend of mine used to do massage like this.
She would never have a man as a client wo a her dh nearby. Because the demand for a happy ending is so common that she had to take steps to protect herself. That’s how common this is. And having a man, and more precisely her dh (adds weight) is the only that worked.
A lone worker policy does fuck all (just says to be careful to have access to exit and let people know where you are and who with - which I assume would be against GDPR for you too…..).
And clearly people nearby (it’s a leisure centre! Not her house or a room somewhere either no one else around) didn’t stop him.

Also having proof would mean a video with sound. Do you think anyone will agree to strip (near) naked for a massage if they are been videoed? Wo even going into all the safety associated with having said video (because THAT would trigger major rules to follow etc…. to be legal)

Basically, what you’re proposing is to protect the man ‘because GDPR’ whilst stopping A (or any other woman) to protect themselves.
Because their ‘privacy’ is more important than women’s safety.

Didn’t need to but can if she wants them to.

This

Ah so he didn't mention to his OH that the masseusse tried it on with him until after she had accused him of being sexually inappropriate.

There's no doubt in my mind that C doesn't know her husband nearly as well as she thinks she does.

Yes and she doesn't know what he enjoys sexually. Maybe the wife doesn't want to do that so thought he'd try elsewhere.

Depressing number of women trying to come with a reason why the victim of a sleazy man is the real bad guy here.

The least at fault is the person offering money to a masseuse for add ons? 😳

I'd want to know if my husband was using the leisure centre at our kids school to buy sex.

I know they say ignorance is bliss, but really?!

TBF that C's partner. C is the wife.

Person A shouldn’t have told person B (gossipy & unprofessional)
and
Person B shouldn't have told person C (it is indeed shit stirring).

Alas we are not in the US...

Person A should not have to be a subjest to sexual harrassement by a sleazy douchebag while at work. You're right, she should have gone to the police indeally (I realise this is not what you meant, for you it was only an unprofessional gossip, lol).

Struggling to see beyond this, tbh.

Wait what...So it's OK for him to proposition people and asking for sexual favours because his wife may not be giving it to him at work? C's husband, is that u?

Yeah right 😂🙄

‘Unprofessionally’… really? He made it unprofessional, he doesn’t deserve protection. It’s true it wasn’t the wisest decision but the masseuse is a victim here; zero obligation to protect him.

Asking for a happy ending isn’t covered under GDPR because a: it’s illegal and b: there’s no data involved, only dirt. Person A is a masseur not a prostitute and has every right to report person C’s partner to the police. I feel bad for person C but much worse for Person A.

I’m with A, women should always call this out and I’m very dismayed at the first response saying it was a breach, can only assume that was a bloke.

so let’s be clear, you sexually harass a woman you’ve no fucking right to confidentiality,

and yeah he did it;