Big fall out - who is (most) in the wrong?

[Dibrew]

I would welcome opinions on this situation which is currently playing out.

Person A is a masseuse, working part time evenings out of a leisure centre attached to a secondary school.

Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them.

Person B tells Person C of what was said by Person A. The session was terminated due to him offering money towards the end of this for sexual services.

Person C’s partner strongly denies this. Person C accuses Person A of breaking data protection rules and says Person B is attempting to shit stir.

I'd say that telling this acquaintance was badly considered.

Maybe she did? We know she told B. We don't know who else she told.

She is free to report the incident to whoever she wants to.

What a ridiculous hyperbolic statement. This isn't at all like that kind of scenario.

@Dibrew did A inform the centre manager etc?

None of that means she shouldn’t tell anyone though? The question of proof is entirely separate from her right to make the allegations to whomever she wants.

BAD victim of sexual harassment. Know your place!

Well let’s do a hypothetical situation.

Person C’s partner gropes Person B. Person B tells Person A. Person A says “oh yea, he’s a sleazebag but I didn’t mention it because you know, GDPR and masseuse/client confidentiality”

Telling people to keep quiet and that they're wrong for speaking out (gossiping!) unless they can prove it is exactly what keeps victims quiet.

I hope you don't work in any kind of law enforcement or child protection adjacent career. I really do.

She can tell who she wants, but OP said A told B as gossip rather than to serve as any kind of warning. Gossiping about a customer without proof opens her up to a legal complaint from him.

Person A shouldn’t have told person B really , they should have taken it further. But , I understand why they did they must have felt very uncomfortable.

Person A I would feel isn’t making it up because they surely know that there is a chance of it getting back to person C and there being repercussions that could affect their business.

Person C’s reaction sounds typical of a sleazy man who has been caught out.

Person C’s wife is humiliated and will want to believe her husband .

🙄

Read my posts back – I haven't suggested anywhere that A shouldn't have said anything to anyone, I said she should've reported him instead of gossiping to B.

Gossip is how OP has described it, not me, before you go off on one again.

Well that’s her look out if she has said something that isn’t true, but it’s exactly that kind of threat that allows predatory men to get away with it. Whether it’s gossip, a formal report, a warning or laughing at the pathetic man, she can tell whoever she likes. Surely!

Person A has done nothing wrong. Attempting to pay a masseuse for sexual services is much worse than any data breach.

Person B may be shit stirring or felt morally obliged to say.

Person C is clutching at straws, likely shocked and mortified. But blaming A is not on.

The man is the most in the wrong. Then Person c for blaming Person A.

Person A and B possibly wrong if gossiping, but that is not nearly as bad as the man, or C. Also Person A owes the man nothing why should she keep his secret. If he was bold enough to behave like that in his local area he cant be that bothered about wife or people who know her finding out.

To who?

Interesting one.

Person A has clearly breached client confidentiality.

If she experienced sexual harassment at work (both a civil and criminal offence) she should report to her employer, trade union and the police. If self-employed, she should contact her trade union and the police.

She can obvs refuse to book that client again.

If she confided in Person B as a friend, having experienced sexual harassment at work, they should’ve respected her confidence, having presumably promised to.

But perhaps not wise to choose to confide in a friend who also knows Person C. Best to confide in an unrelated friend.

So much about this thread is downright weird. Relaying a direct experience of sexual harassment is apparently now 'gossip'. We apparently mustn't tell anybody about these experiences other than in accordance with the rules laid down by the place in which they happened. In this case it is apparently a leisure centre manager(!) who is the only person to whom A should have confided. That's before we get to whatever on Earth people think is in the GDPR; I've got a half decent working knowledge of it and I've love to hear a reasoned explanation of why anybody thinks A is in breach.

Why on earth person a do to discuss this with a friend in this situation Person a should never break patient confidentially as that put in a person b in a vulnerable situation to spread rumours. Person a should just told person c fully booked and if had any evidence passed it to the police. Don't get an external friend involved. Person a needs to look at lone worker policy and look at how they deal with patient confidentially. Does person a have a body they can ask for advice or unregulated.

Yes, very sad thread.

And I present you with an example of why so many women are not believed and so dont bother telling anyone when they experience abuse and intimidation.

They are accused of being gossips, shit stirrers, liars and often jealous to boot.

You should be ashamed @Scarlettpixie but I doubt you will be

I’m wondering who you think A could have reported the man to.
The police is unlikely to be interested.

Nope, OP said the suggestion is gossip, ie sleazebag’s wife is suggesting it was gossip. OP has not said it was or wasn’t. And who cares if it was? Sexually harass me at work and I will “gossip” about that to anyone I like!

The OP doesn't mention gossip at all in her opening post.

In a later post the OP says 'the suggestion is gossip' or something along those lines.

But this is not gossip.

There are only two options:

It's an accurate description of a man sexually propositioning a woman in her work place.

OR

It's a woman lying about a man sexually propositioning her in her workplace.

Someone has done something dreadful. The question is, is it A or C's partner.

Client confidentiality!! Keep it confidential that the client sexually harassed you! Won’t someone think of the sleazebags?

She could've reported him to the police for sexual harassment – it's a criminal offence – and to the sports centre to get him banned. Even if the police aren't interested, lodging a complaint against him is still worth it so it's on file.

Patient! A massage client! Jesus