To think Adult wishlists for Birthdays or Christmas are quite cheeky

[GrabbyCF]

What do you think of adults sending wishlists for Birthdays and Christmas?

DH's cousin just sent her mother's (DH's aunt) list for her birthday. Then she suggested that DH and BIL and SIL get the most expensive item - a yoga mat that costs over a £100.

I think they’re great! I’d much rather get people things they want than not. Though if there’s nothing listed within the budget I’ve set then I just freestyle.

But also will go in with other people to buy something more expensive.

For immediate family they can potentially be useful, but that's it.

Different families do different things. I don't think they're cheeky, just practical. You can go off list of you prefer. Lots of people find gift shopping without a list stressful.

Well lots of people ask me what I want so having a list is useful but I wouldn’t send one unsolicited.

DH and I do this for each other. It saves anyone buying what you don’t want or need. I don’t want surprises or something random, I’ll rather get what I’ll make use of.

We do it with immediate family. Tbh I half hate it as might as well buy ourselves what we want but it does make gift buying easier. Although I never want anything and find making a list stressful but also hate getting crap that just clutters the house.

I think the whole business of adults buying each other Christmas presents us beyond tedious and unnecessary stress do if anyone who wants a present is happy to take the time to tell me what they want that's a massive positive.

I have a Pinterest board for things that catch my eye, it's like a cooling off period for myself, but dh asked for access so he has a better idea of what I might like. Once you get to a certain age and financial position you tend to buy yourself the things you want rather than wait for an occasion, so it becomes more difficult for others to buy things you actually want

Love lists, I don’t want to waste my money on gifts people won’t use. I would much rather gift something they actually want and will enjoy.

My family do lists, it's far more practical than ending up with a load of tat that we don't want and which probably gets sent to the next tombola. However we are all careful about the cost of things on it so probably have things from £10 to £50. One grandmother was notorious for putting washing up gloves on hers 😂

Why is this your business?

Me and my family don’t do wish lists, but when I married into my husbands family they do. I thought it was really weird at first and thought it’s sad to not get a surprise.

But then I realised no one is expected to stick to it and no one expects to be given all the stuff on their list, it’s more like ‘here are a list of ideas for presents, use it if you want to use it otherwise get something else’, and that can be quite handy sometimes. We tend to get a mix of list and other items.

A list for people outside the immediate family though is weird and also very cheeky. I would expect to buy an aunt a small gift like an orchid or something for a birthday. They’ve probably sent the list on to others because none of them want to buy the expensive yoga mat.

I would say ‘thanks for the idea but we’ve already got her a little something’.

I find them so, so, so helpful. The mental gymnastics of searching for something you think they’ll like is gone and you know you’re spending money on something that will actually be used.

Also, if she’s asked for all 3 of them to split the £100 for the yoga mat I think that’s a great idea, all 3 of them are done then!

I dont the point of giving a why not just buy for yourself what you want and cut out the middle person

Depends if the gift buyer has asked for a list. My DH asks me for a wishlist, as he likes to buy me supplies for my hobby and wants to make sure he doesn't buy the same kit or pattern twice. He then passes it on to his brother (who asks for ideas what to buy me).

I wouldn't be offended by people not buying me a gift and I wouldn't demand people buy me something from a list. I also wouldn't put something that costs £100 on there, at that price point I'd save up any buy it for myself. I try to put things around the £30 mark with a few cheaper options.

I love a list. I hate surprises and personally would rather receive something I will use and want than receive something that I don't use or will end up giving to a charity shop (when I assume the sender intended for me to have something nice).
I hate when people say surprise me as while I might know their likes, it's hard to know what they might already have and some stuff is just potentially extra clutter (e.g. maybe my friend loves cats, but does she really need a mug with a cat on it? Unlikely).

Editing to add I wouldn't be sending a list to a friend (but we rarely get gifts for each other anyway, only on significant birthdays) and it's only immediate family who do gifts so sending a list to my mum and dad is perhaps different to sending to all

An aunt soliciting gifts from her nephew (via her DD) is totally off.

I do a list for my family. I'm an identical twin. Our birthday is 23rd December. We both start having a think of stuff in about September. It's just easier for us and our families.

We do Amazon lists in my family. It’s so helpful and it doesn’t ruin the surprise necessarily because we don’t tell people what we’re buying from the list and we don’t check them to see what’s been bought.

Because that is the point of the thread. I think it's cheeky to send a list of expensive items and expect family members to buy. Also not taking into account different peoples budgets

The other thing with lists (with the exact item and brand on it) is that the receiver knows exactly how much each person has spent on them.

Some people are strapped for cash, but can also be great bargain hunters and can get amazing things at really discounted prices by hunting things out all year. A list restricts people from being able to do that.

Thank you.

It's come across as a demand more than a suggestion.
Especially since this aunt is very wealthy and we are a young family having to save and budget.

Absolutely this. Also, my family can be quite into hobbies and therefore the details matter. My DF might want, for example, a particular music track for his collection. As a non-expert I could Google XXX because he’s mentioned it in passing, but in reality he wants a particular track by a particular orchestra recorded on a specific date and with a specific piece of artwork attached. By listing (and giving links) we can get exactly what he wants. Yes technically he could buy it himself but usually these are things he might umm and ahh about spending the money on, some people find it hard to treat themselves. We also make sure there are more items than people so you don’t know which items will be picked so it’s still a surprise.
We do limit it to close family though - I do DH & DS, DM, DF, DB & DSIL for lists. My in laws we free-wheel and I hate it! As a family we don’t buy gifts for aunts, uncles etc and my nan when she was alive used to get a food hamper or treat foods from all of us.

I would love it if my family did this! They are all impossible to buy for and I find it takes the joy out of gift giving if you’re stressed about getting them something they would like and haven’t already got. My parents in particular are very difficult. They have enough money to buy the things they want when they want it and they don’t really have any hobbies/interests so it’s not fun buying gifts for them