To think Adult wishlists for Birthdays or Christmas are quite cheeky

[GrabbyCF]

What do you think of adults sending wishlists for Birthdays and Christmas?

DH's cousin just sent her mother's (DH's aunt) list for her birthday. Then she suggested that DH and BIL and SIL get the most expensive item - a yoga mat that costs over a £100.

I got sent one yesterday and have to say I wasn’t very impressed. I do a token stocking for adults - they normally stay for a week at Christmas, don’t chip in food or booze (and offers to drive them to get some are declined!) and the last couple of years I’ve been given a £3 supermarket cheddar truckle. I know it’s not about the getting but there’s nothing on the wishlist for under £30! So yes, cheeky in my particular situation.

I will give DP and DD (who, apart from DD's DH, are the only people I buy gifts for), a list. It's nothing fancy just generic stuff, candle, jigsaw, voucher, etc, and it's up to them how much they want to spend on it and whether or not it's for Christmas or my birthday as it's both the same day.

I’d be returning the reply that seeing as they stay for a week and eat and drink for free presents aren’t necessary!

Don’t worry, I did!

You must be used to it by now surely? The Just tell them you’re not participating, although you’ve left it late for this year.

I have 10 rooms full of stuff, I am facing down-sizing in the next 7-10 years. The last thing I need is stuff I don’t ask for. Also in-laws have no imagination whatsever.

I like a list. We have lots of things on the list, more than the nr of gift givers, so it's still a bit of a surprise what you get.

But I view them similarly to wedding gift lists - if solicited and with a wide range of price points and not compulsory then great. If unsolicited, compulsory and full of only very expensive things it's rude and cheeky.

It sure is cheeky if people who buy presents for each other are not on a known budget or have a low budget.

It is very practical if it is agreed that there is a budget.

Our family Chris Cringle has a budget and it is expected that the buyer will ask the recipient (or their family) what recipient would like. Viewing a list of ideas is fantastic. It saves time and waste. Lists and discussion help people get to know the other person better. I like my gift to be appreciated.

I usually ask for them to help with ideas, but I'd find it odd if someone sent me one without me requesting it.

I think they are great, I would much rather buy someone something they want than it go straight onto Vinted. I think the list should include a mix of items at different prices so people can pick something within their budget.

It is very cheeky to send a list and then “suggest” that someone buys the most expensive item on - it sounds like a very clumsy attempt at asking a group of people if they will chip it and buy the yoga mat together. If you can’t afford it or are unwilling why don’t you all give her vouchers or money towards the yoga mat, then she can pay the rest herself. It might go in the post Christmas sale.

We use lists in our family. Makes life much easier. I add stuff through the year and it’s often still a surprise as I’ve forgotten about it by the time Christmas comes round.

I love a list, but I don't hand them out unsolicited. I used to give it to ex-DH and my parents, who will share it with my brother if asked (he usually does). I now just give ex-DH a token idea of something from the kids (with enough free rein for it still to feel special, like this year I've asked for an ampoule opener but will leave it up to them to pick design etc). All those people would rather get me something that I was otherwise going to have to buy myself anyway, or something that I want but can't justify etc. I never would have sent it to wider family or sent on lists from relatives (when we still did adult gifts) unless asked!

Great when there as an option. Awful when imposed.

I guess it does depend on your circumstances, and I wouldn’t be thrilled having to spend £30 on my aunt, prefer around the £15 mark.
Especially annoying if they are wealthy and you are not.

Other than that, it can be handy for a joint gift, if it’s not too pricey for you all.
I hope she is always prompt with her gifts, if she was with the family, and I was able, I wouldn’t mind too much.
If she bought you a bubble bath from a pound shop, whilst wealthy ( I speak from experience) I wouldn’t be so keen 🤣

I buy for 3 adults and thy all have a wish list that they update through the year and more so on the run up to Christmas. Lots of items at different values so we all get to spend what we like.
I have one as well and my DC really appreciate the list. Makes life so much easier.

A great idea as long as they are positioned as suggestions not demands and there's a range of prices, starting at the sub £20 level.

I like them. Stops duplicate presents as well (such as two years ago I mentioned in conversation with my mother and MIL that I really wanted a back pack picnic bag for days out... so I got two for my birthday!)

I think it just comes down to how your family does things. We don't send out lists as such... its just when people ask, we can say what sort of things we would like and know that two people araren'looking at the sane thing

No way! I love a list - my family all put "What to get me" lists on the family wassapp at birthdays and Christmas and it's great.

l want to buy people l like something they want and it's way less stressful if they tell me what that is! I don't mind clubbing together with others to get an expensive thing, either.

Only exeption really is if l wasn't planning on giving a present at all or if the whole list is insanely expensive and then l'll just ignore it ...

Do they buy presents for your DH and you? I think it's fairly unusual for adults to buy presents for their aunts and uncles and cousins unless they are very close.

If you don't like lists ignore it. I personally prefer to buy someone something that they like and want. It is more economically and environmentally friendly, it's easier for me and the recipient is happy. It's a win win win situation.

Oh dear, I feel awful now.

I do have one but it is public so anyone can see it.

Like a PP, I use it safe "cool down period" on prospective purchases. I don't think they're is much more then £30 on it, if that.

I would never send it unless asked to..

Just checked, my most expensive is £29.99. Average of £10, and a coyote of things less than that.

Didn't help that my birthday is Christmas Eve!

Far better to have a wish list and get people things they’d like . Most people ask what is on someone’s wish list for Christmas/ birthdays . It’s not strange .

And in the flip side, I love a gift list, sabed me having to think.

Just trying to remember when the last time I bought my aunts a gift for Christmas or birthday! If its a special bday and youvr been invited to a birthday party or celebration then yes a gift is appropriate but tbh eceryone has so much stuff I rarely buy presents! Only my kids will give me a list and tbh they are the only ones I buy presents for. Ill send my mum flowers for her birthday and if ive been invited to a specific celebration but we all need less!