Differences between college and school I've got one in each I can't believe the difference ?

[CollegeVschool]

I've got one daughter in school doing a levels and my son is in college doing a course both want to go to uni.

I'm really shocked by the difference we don't get a parents evening at college and they are told we only get your parents in if there is an issue. There have been no discussions or help to see how he can improve ? He seems to be doing ok but it's hard to tell. When I emailed to ask how he's doing I didn't feel secure that the person I spoke to knew him well or his work?
By contrast my daughters school still has parents evening for everyone and she's doing really well and there are no concerns but it's really nice for her to have that time to get praise and they get reports ? Why would they do it differently in a college ?

With my daughter I know where she is at for her course and the exams .
I feel college is so much more removed than the school and at the school they know her much better.

We were also told in my daughters school how UCAS works and there was an information evening about it . They see their references and sign them off. At the college we have had no information about it and they don't show my son the reference !
This is not necessarily a criticism but I'm just wondering why the stark difference .

My DS is at college doing a vocational subject. We had two 10 minute parent meetings in his first year. The second year I had an email saying he was doing really well and no need for a meeting but I could request one if I wanted... I didn't as DS is obviously engaged and motivated. We'll have one in March though to discuss next steps etc. His college are very good with their careers focus and there's a lot of emphasis on this. We also have an app with details of attendance, targets, progress against the assessments etc.
It is definitely more 'grown up' than school though!

@wheresmymojo as I explained earlier it's my DD who has total independence and control over learning and that's why she's doing well in school doing her a levels but she's getting far more help and in put on the technical side of things like UCAS applications and uni

So I'm struggling to see the benefit ?

My kids both went to colleges and we were offered parents evenings. One I went to because he is quieter and we didn't have a sense of how he was getting on. The other we didn't go to because he is a walking stream of consciousness anyway and we could tell he was navigating it just fine (as was the other one it turned out).

My parents didn't go to my sixth form evenings and I don't think them going would have made any difference to my performance. To some extent it's a good time to get a feel for how they're likely to manage at uni.

6th form college is different from a typical FE college. Our local college is FE and I do not believe they have parent's evening. I attended a college but it was a very long time ago- there was zero involvement with my parents. My son's school sixth form has the same level of communication as when he was in Year 11 plus they review UCAS applications and will not send it if they're not happy.

Again the differences between school sixth form colleges and FE are huge. Most learners in FE are not doing level 3 courses and UCAS is not relevant to them. Level 3 learners doing courses that are geared towards HE and UCAS get lots of help, I-2-1s with careers advisors and help with UCAS statements, interviews and open days in my experience. This is done in class time and with drop ins offered for extra support. Motor vehicle for instance wouldn't be routinely offered this but could ask for it if doing level 3. The faculties are so specialised and what you learn is tailored to course. Classes will have students who are adults in them aswel as 16-17 year olds.

Went to a 16-19 college, it was excellent preparation for university. If you didn't do the work you got kicked off the course, you managed yourself and your own time, and you called your tutors by their first name. I likely wouldn't have gone to university without this experience, as I hated school. I noticed a real difference between kids like me and kids who stayed in school, they tended struggle more with adjusting to university life.

We did get predicted grades and parents did attend something about UCAS, don't think there were parents evenings though.

My DD goes to college and I don't recognise anything you say.

We often get emails when she is doing well. We've had a curriculum evening where we were told when her assessments would be, how the courses run etc.

There is a parents evening coming up in the new year.

I think the college is fantastic. DD is really blossoming.

Some of it is differences at college vs school-based, I know at the college two of my kids went to they ask permission of the students to give out any information to parents while it's largely assumed at schools; however, I have had two kids at the same college, different departments on different campuses, and basically had the same experience as listed in the OP.

DD in Animal Management, regular contact and details on parent events sent out regularly, I've met the tutors, we've had in-depth conversation on workload and on the work experience expectations and availability both during college years and if she continues into the HE department there. She finds 90% of her peers well engaged, though there are still the few students who hide from the practical work on their phones.

DS in Engineering, there was little from them, and you'd only know about the parent information evening if you kept tabs on the main college website event page. He had a lot of issues with the poor behaviour of others in his lessons, which was surprising for him and us as there was the idea that at Level 3 they chose to be there, but Engineering is one of those areas where at that level they can end up there on inertia if good at maths, particularly for boys, and end up dropping out. I think nearly half of his original cohort were gone by Y13.

Part of it may be department difference, some is programme differences (DD's requires 150 hours of work experience in the first year, DS's none required), and also DS was far less engaged himself compared to DD. DS would be unlikely to inform me if there was a parent's evening or anything similar. Even now, he thinks he's informing him of his leave and coming home by sending me a screenshot of his train ticket times, not getting that I might need more context.

I also had another DD who did an apprenticeship post-16, which had absolutely no contact.

I think - and it shows on this thread - that different institutions have different levels of competence and care and with FE colleges you've got the added element of they're not been historically required to do the same level of communication with parents or pastoral and academic support for students as school sixth forms (I'm not sure about 6th form colleges - the one I worked in was part of a chain with regular secondary schools in it so very similar in terms of parents' evenings etc).

So I suppose the learning point is if your child is changing institution at 16, not to assume certain things are in place/the same as as school unless you've been told they are.

OP, I think what I'd do is have a good look at the college website and any communications you've received from them since September and double check that you're not missing out on any sources of information.

I work in a school sixth form and parents can sometimes assume at 16 everything's up to the child. In fact they can easily view the child's timetable, attendance, homework, house points, detentions, what they've bought in the canteen, trips and opportunities coming up - as long as they signed up to the two systems we use (one for info and one for payments) when they were invited to.

Also check that your DS is actually logging into his college email or checking Teams or any other info system they use daily: you may be surprised what you find in there.

Is it colleges in England that do parents' evenings? I am genuinely surprised by this and also a bit shocked. But then I am also surprised that parents go on university visits with their children too. I am not very very old (41) but things have changed so so much since I was at uni

I think colleges are far better at helping young people grow up and preparing them to be more independent. Schools often don't have that step, which can make it harder for young people in the long run. I went to college (quite an academic one rather than practical) and felt my friends were a bit babied by the school.

This is EXACTLY why my DS chose college rather than 6 th. Treated as an adult who is responsible for sorting own education rather than a school kid that mummy informed every step of the way as though he was still 11

This thread has just reminded me that when I first went to uni my grandma asked if there were parents' evenings. At uni. 😄

I was in halls and she also asked if there was a dormitory mistress. Bless. 😄

@Cakeandcardio .

Uni costs now in my day it was free.
There is a lot of competition for the better unis and a lot of crap going on at the less good ones.

I don't see the harm in attending a few.
@RubySquid I don't think you have read the thread or my comments

It's my DD whose more on it education wise my Ds however didn't get good enough grades to stay on .
As someone else said it's him who needs more support.
How can a child at 16 or 17 sort their own education anyway ?

I am having concerns around UCAS.
More heads are better than one and unless you don't care about your child's education or you're child is in somewhere like eton i think it behoves us all to have some curiosity now and then .

@Needlenardlenoo good pints thank you

Both of my eldest two went to college. Both had parents evenings and we were informed if any missed lectures. One was doing a levels and the other doing beauty/hairdressing.

Both preferred that they were treated more like adults and the eldest felt it set them up for uni.

I feel your pain. I also work in FE and I'm wondering how/if I will manage to get through to retirement age doing this.

Plus horrendous behaviour that mostly goes unchallenged from SLT.

This is an interesting read as we are currently looking at 6th forms with my year 11 son. His school has no sixth form so he has to move. I’m trying to persuade him to consider some school sixth forms but he’s reluctant to move to a different school when he could be at college. Definitely looking at dedicated 6th form colleges though rather than FE colleges. We are in London and there are quite a few very academic ones to pick from which have dress codes/expectations of being on site all day every day. I hadn’t thought to wonder whether they have parents evenings though.

See having had one got through school 6 form and one at college I don't actually see the benefits of making sixth formers be on site all day. It's just extending the school kid years

Having been at a school sixth form myself it hadn’t really occurred to me they might not have to be on site all the time until one of the colleges said so!

I was in school 6th form 1974-76 - exactly the same. My parents had zero to do with my studies or my university applications.

But I don't see the benefits of them having to be on site all day. Obviously considered babies that can't organize their own studying.DS told me it was quite easy to see which new students were from schools ( and had never had jobs) from the others as they seemed so much more immature

My dd is at a large 6th form college, parents evening is invite only, and for those they have concerns about. UCAS support is excellent, they have a dedicated careers department the kids can get support from, tutor program to support the kids and have had a few evening events for parents outlining options and deadlines etc. Colleges do on average get better results than schools as well. They publish attendance, targets and assessment grades on a parent portal so I can see how she’s doing. I haven’t spoken to anyone about her progress but don’t feel the need to be honest. It’s not like I can help her, I don’t understand much of what she’s studying anymore!