Differences between college and school I've got one in each I can't believe the difference ?

[CollegeVschool]

I've got one daughter in school doing a levels and my son is in college doing a course both want to go to uni.

I'm really shocked by the difference we don't get a parents evening at college and they are told we only get your parents in if there is an issue. There have been no discussions or help to see how he can improve ? He seems to be doing ok but it's hard to tell. When I emailed to ask how he's doing I didn't feel secure that the person I spoke to knew him well or his work?
By contrast my daughters school still has parents evening for everyone and she's doing really well and there are no concerns but it's really nice for her to have that time to get praise and they get reports ? Why would they do it differently in a college ?

With my daughter I know where she is at for her course and the exams .
I feel college is so much more removed than the school and at the school they know her much better.

We were also told in my daughters school how UCAS works and there was an information evening about it . They see their references and sign them off. At the college we have had no information about it and they don't show my son the reference !
This is not necessarily a criticism but I'm just wondering why the stark difference .

I had misgivings about my eldest doing her A-levels at college to start with. But honestly, I can definitely see why she wanted to move on from school: more choice in subjects and courses at college, treated more as an adult so no uniform, no detention (her high school have both of these for 6th formers). It’s been the making of her and she’s much happier and more independent in college.

Yes my son is defiantly enjoying it mostly but will he come out of it better educated and able to do the next step? He does also say many people use chat gpt and seem to get away with it.

He did say and promise me he doesn't

My DS did A levels at sixth form college and I don’t recognise this approach at all. He had regular parents evenings, a very supportive tutor who we could approach at any time. Plus loads of information sessions and emails about university applications, both for parents and the pupils.

Was yours an FE college as that may be the difference?

Yes similar here, Im of the view tht generally speaking (there are always outliers) college would be better for kids, more grown up and independent.

What are you using as the benchmark to determine 'better educated'?

This used to be the case in the 80s when I did A levels too. School 6th forms were more like schools and FE colleges were pretty much like higher education colleges. I could see that with schools becoming much more hands on that would likely affect their 6th forms too, so the difference may be even more pronounced now.

The thing is, historically, if you adjust for factors like Student affluence, FE colleges get better results than school 6th forms (as well as offering courses schools tend to be unable to do). So that independence may well have benefits for students approaching adulthood.

Regardless of the academic outcomes (which I mention in previous comment, may well be better), he will probably come out better prepared for work and higher education - which also expect you to be the primary driver of your own success.

In a college environment, your son has the opportunity to take ownership of his own learning in preparation for going to uni, starting with asking about his progress and what his next goals should be. Your role as the mother of a person approaching adulthood us to encourage him to do those things, and work towards becoming the independent learner he will need to be at 16.

I cannot believe how much we infantilise young people these days. College is not school. It’s not for children. There shouldn’t be parents evenings etc

@RawBloomers out of the two it's my DD whose the self starter and always has been.

@Justacigarette disagree.

His grades were not great which is why he ended up there. My DD at school is the self starter.

In college they’re ’young adults’, it’s all about freedom and independence. My DD is in her first year and I’ve only contacted them once before she started to order uniform. DD has sorted and arranged everything she’s needed to herself. The tutor has regular contact with them by email when needed

When I was teaching in an FE college, we’d have parents’ evening and hope for parents to turn up! They rarely did.

@Coconutter24 ..yes my DD at school is very organised and does it all herself as well.

It's an age thing I think your referring to there.
I just find the college set up so weird as someone else said the types of students at college probably need more support than elsewhere. ..

So college could be a good wake up call for your DS...

DC college has parents evenings and reports - but yes there is less information from them but they've all been ready for that TBH.

DH did college I did school sixth form - both feel very strongly college was better preparation for uni.

Not sure sixth forms here were great with UCAS either TBH in our area listening to their mates who stayed in the school system.

Well OP, if you think colleges should be better staffed, so they have capacity for more pastoral support, you could lobby your MP for more funding for them - presumably based on higher taxation.

@lottiegarbanzo I don't know what to think at the moment because I'm not sure what's going on and I don't know how it will pan out .

A pp poster suggested the teachers are not actually teachers in fe ?
I'll have to see how he gets on as we go along.

Surely if grading is an issue, and it may or may not be, for him then he needs to make sure he picks a pathway suited to his needs, you said he would be going to uni, perhaps thats not his pathway. I think too many kids go to uni, its assumed that all kids should or will go and I don think that is the right mindset at all.

It depends on the subject he's doing? A lecturer in hairdressing will be a hairdresser first and foremost, a lecturer in plumbing will be a plumber. They then learn how to be a teacher of plumbing on the job in college. Some have been teaching it and are now qualified teachers with 20 plus years of experience. Some will be at the start of their journey. What course is he doing.

@wantmorenow sorry you have asked that i don't want to say sorry .
It's not technical like that.

Kids are in school because they have to be.
Kids are in college because they want to be.

I'm howling at the idea of parents night in college, esp with older students, 23 year old Bobs mum rocking up for parents night!
Also some rural kids might be in college miles from home.

Kids need to take responsibity for themselves at some point. Thats also what employers are looking for.

I just thought this was interesting “It seems you will need to take all the initiative with the college”

IMO the whole point is that the DD takes the initiative. The next step after this is either university or work and they won’t have a parent there either.

I think we have to be careful not to do too much - because all we’re doing is setting them up for failure in the real world.

This. It’s about supporting them to do the right thing and make the right choices as someone soon reaching adulthood more than being in direct contact with the teachers as though they’re a child.