Accusation to ss without any proof

[Zoono]

To give a bit of context when my DD was a baby she had a social worker, as I was a newly single mother and at high risk of committing suicide but there weren't any accusations of abuse or neglect. It was horrendous but I completely co operated with all professionals and they ended support within months. I do still feel a bit traumatised from that time. Fast forward two years and tonight, I have a social worker on my door. A taxi driver claims, I appeared intoxicated and under the influence of alcohol or drugs yesterday, while he drove me and my daughter home from a soft play area. I never drink when my DD is in my care even when she's asleep and I never use drugs. I did look exceptionally tired though. I feel so shaken up by tonight even though the social worker said my daughter looked well cared and my home was clean. He also thinks the case will be quickly closed. Aibu to feel that a stranger who has witnessed no obvious abuse or neglect, is out of order to report someone to social services, especially if they have no safeguarding training? I feel like never getting a taxi again.

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility OP. This taxi driver did the right thing, even though it was a scary and unwelcome visit for you.

It's vile to do nothing wrong and still be made to feel like a bad parent 😞

I guess so but it will take everything I have for this to not impact my mental health, which has recently been okay. I know all children need to be looked after properly but I felt like scum tonight.

Try and see the good here - this guy was looking out for your kid. He thought something wasn't right so he reported it to those who are qualified to make that judgement.

You don't know what safeguarding training he has. He could have been a former teacher, youth worker or have voluntary experience.

It’s awful for you - but taxi drivers ukwide have to
up their game after the cab driver at Southport took an hour to report AR entering a room with weapons, etc..

You poor thing. Happens to the best of us.

That must've been a huge shock to you. I know I have been so tired in the past that I felt drunk and I think it also affected the way I would've appeared to other people but, I think the taxi driver did the right thing, safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. There have been times when people stood by and did nothing and as a result children came to significant harm.

Look at it this way, the taxi driver was looking out for your daughter. He showed care to a stranger

Not the point of the thread but why are SS revealing who made the report. Surely that could lead to serious repercussions in some cases, putting off others from reporting suspicion

I honestly dont believe I appeared anything other than my normal self. I am very quiet and reserved and did have big bags under my eyes but thats just my normal self. I know these situations are a no win but I won't forget tonight for a long time. I just feel so sad that the accusations happened purely because I was trying to give my DD a fun day.

Are you actually okay though? Bit odd isn’t it for a taxi driver to make such a call on the basis you just looked tired? Surely there’s more to it?

Maybe 1 day that taxi driver might save a dc's life.
You are doing great op.

It did seem strange that they'd do that, especially as the taxi drivers name was still visible on the app. I'm not petty and will let it go but I don't think everyone would.

How would he have known your details enough to be able to report to ss

That was simply it. I personally think choosing alcohol or drugs over your kids is awful, so why would I ever do that to my own child?

He had my name and drove me back to my home address

Don’t use the experience as an excuse to go downhill with your mental health. Nothing happened other than someone making sure your child is well and being looked after appropriately.

I can’t imagine it was an easy call for him to make. People tend to struggle with the decision to involve police or social services, you see threads about it all the time on here even when there’s clearly a need to do so.

I’m sorry you were upset. Something obviously rattled him.

Then ring someone. Looking for sympathy on Aibu is not going to help you. I’m concerned for your child right now if I’m completely honest.

He dropped her off at her home no?

OP, I do think there has to be more to this… did you trip as you approach the taxi, did you sound slurred? I don’t see how being quiet and having bags under your eyes would equal being intoxicated and drugged up.

I’m surprised a taxi driver did that and think there must have been something exceptional that worried him.

It’s good SS were so quick to respond and have been able to so quickly confirm to you all is ok and they don’t have any further concerns.

I hope you are okay after all of this.

Maybe he's not used to mums and toddlers taking a taxi home from the playground and therefore thought you were too intoxicated to drive/walk?

So sorry this happened to you op, I can see that that would be a very intrusive and scary thing to happen and hope you don’t let it be a setback to you as you are obviously doing a great job. People looking in front outside can so easily misjudge or misinterpret a situation and ss have clearly understood that this is what has happened here. I think as a poster above said, try to think of it as someone trying to do a good thing for a child, even if misguided.

I am surprised how quickly SS reacted. Usually all I hear is stories of how slow they are to react. If this was only based on an incident yesterday I can only think they were highly concerned based on the report they received.

What is worrying is you have now said this will impact your mental health, so I do wonder if you were already spiraling and gave the appearance of someone needing help. Rather than brushing off the social worker, maybe you do now need to reach out to them and say the report has shaken you and you are worried and maybe they can check in with you/offer support.

She hasn't been told that. Case is still open but she's been told it should be closed fairly quickly.
It might not be as over yet as posters here seem to think.

I'm surprised you didn't immediately offer to take a drug test.