To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

Mine was similar, he’s now my ex husband and her my ex mil. She was vile.

So mine:

Wore black to the wedding. Talked through it, told to be quiet by registrar and just after our view said loudly ‘Oh God it’s done now’.

Before the wedding she told me ‘Oh dear you don’t look very nice in that dress it really doesn’t suit you and you look fat’ I was a size 8 and I looked lovely really loved and she introduced herself to my bridesmaid loudly as ‘I’m Betty - I thought I would introduce myself as poor Emma is too ignorant to introduce people to each other isn’t she?’ - this was said as I was getting out of the car at the venue. I hadn’t even got out of the car. I was talking to the registrar outside before the wedding when she made the comments about the dress and me being fat. I had tears in my eyes walking down the aisle and not good ones.

I was ill really ill before a family holiday that she booked twice a year for them and all their adult children and their children. I had been in hospital (pregnant with extreme morning sickness and dehydrated and on a drip for 2 weeks - she didn’t know the pregnant bit but knew the rest) she phoned me in the hospital and was so awful to me that I discharged myself to go on this awful holiday. My ex told me we were finished if I didn’t as ‘his life would be hell’. She called me a lazy woman(and other stuff) and shocking parent for sleeping until 8 am in front of my entire in-laws, my ex was up and dealing with children from 7 am but she told me ‘you are their mother and he should be relaxing with his family’ apparently parenting- it was my job.

Told me my ex had picked me up from the gutter and could drop me back just as easily. This was 48 hours of having my second child by c section after a horrendous pregnancy. And that I needed to ensure her son was looked after - this meant she spelled this out I need to get back to work and stop ‘sleeping at home’ and go back to work full time in a highly demanding professional job, and looking after the children solely on my own and put a cooked meal on the table every night. She also kicked off as she ‘wanted to hold the baby first’ after my c section but couldn’t as baby and I needed help.

Her husband hit my husband in front of the children and she said ‘oops that was an accident ’ whilst the children screamed.

Haven’t seen ex mil for 12 year and it’s a blessing.

My new MIL is 85 and I love her. I really love her.

YAU to start whats basically a 'hate on MILs' post. It's just unpleasant and really not necessary. With MIL posts i always wonder what the other side of the story might be. The dils on here always hold themselves up as model Mils, with faux implications of never putting a foot wrong. There are sometimes not nice Mils, the same as awful fils, husbands, parents, sisters and the rest. Not a mil myself BTW....

Ex-MIL made SIL cry throughout our wedding by telling her we didn't want her there.
She quite seriously accused me of trying to kill (now ex)H by putting rocks in a suitcase when we went to see her.
DD, when a baby, was sitting on floor and was sick. Reached forward to put her hand in it so ex-MIL prodded her with her foot and made her fall back and hit her head. Even then she didn't pick her up.
VERY FIRST THING she did when we split up was to change her will so I wouldn't get my hands on anything.
DD said, at around the age of eight, that Grannie doesn't like her or her sister because they're mine.
She was, and I understand still is, a spiteful manipulative shrew.

So many things I could write here! I grew up in a council house and am estranged from my dad. MIL would often slip council housing into a conversation and then look at me saying 'oops, sorry dear (she never used my name), I forgot you used to live in a council house' or she'd ask how my dad was and again 'oops sorry, of course you don't see your dad, do you?'
Everytime she made a cup of tea, she'd ask if I took sugar - I was married to her ds for over thirty years and she still asked.
My dh would get lovely Christmas presents from her. I would get something costing a couple of pounds with no thought put into it. Every year, she would ring me on the wrong day to wish me a happy birthday - either the day before or the day after because she 'couldn't remember' when my actual birthday was. She really didn't like me and made it very clear. In the end, I stopped going to see her.

One of a million examples and not the most shocking but it shifted something fundamental inside of me - she called my husband while I was in hospital with our daughter who was at that point nearly dying from cancer, we had no idea whether she would recover. She complained that we were ‘leaving her out’ and that she wanted to move into our house ‘to bake pies in our oven.’ There was just something so selfish and intrusive about the whole tone of it that I’ve never gotten over. All about her. Always. And how we should be making her look and feel, even in the very worst of times. And that’s the thing - I’m upset that she has made some of the happiest times of my life worse, but it’s unbearable that she has made the hardest times of my life even harder. I’ll never forgive her.

Ex's mum.

My ex worked away 4 weeks at a time, i was pregnant and she came with me to my scan, it put me at 13weeks.

She then said the baby couldn't possibly be my exs because he was away at work 13 weeks ago 🤦‍♀️ I had to explain to a 40+ year old woman with 2 kids that they date the pregnancy from the first date of last period, not conception.

The whole thing caused lots of issues.

My future MIL never made official MIL status because she summoned my Fi to her house and held him hostage there for three days, after which he broke off our engagement. So I don't know what the worst thing she said was specifically, but whatever she said there.

But in my hearing I got

• I'm a split personality who needs mental help
• I have no friends. Any "friends" I have are just pretending to like me
• that if I marry her son she'll make sure none of his relatives go to the wedding and then cut him off.

I am finding this rather cathartic.
My son broke up with his girlfriend, told me all the horrible things she had done, I agreed she was a bit of a moo, he then got back with her and he TOLD her I said she was a moo and now they are married and I am 'not welcome'.
I am glad I have a daughter as well.

Carry on.

Nothing, but if this were a post about our own mothers, I'd have an infinite list 😂😅

OMG!

Too many! The one that stands out was telling me to look in front of a mirror and see myself, and that my husband would leave me if I didn't make more of myself. Oh, plus asking husband if he didn't earn enough to buy me decent clothes.

My MIL accused me of having an affair with her Husband. Whilst I was in the very early stages of my second pregnancy and we were having scans to see if it was ectopic.

It's cathartic for people to realise that they aren't alone in being treated abusively and unkindly by their MILs or ex-MILs. Women in these situations often blame themselves, especially if they receive no support from their husbands or partners so they end up blaming themselves.

The 'I'd love to hear the other side of the story' refrain on these kinds of threads is tedious and unoriginal.

We were going for tests as we had been trying for a baby for a few years and she told me we were “ just not doing it properly”. ‘ Your just waiting for me to die so you can get my money” was another. When i did eventually have a baby my Mil and Fil came to pick us up, just as i was getting in to the back of the car she pulled my son out of my arms and took him into the front seat with her. I was just in shock and didnt know what to do or say. She was living in a house I owned for ten or so years or so rent free, i got a phone call from her neighbour saying she had taken ill and could someone come over. Why she phoned me ill never know as she hadnt spoken to me for years. I grabbed my phone and charger and plugged it into her house. She asked what i thought i was doing using her electricity despite saving about £50,000 in rent. She refused to take a taxi anywhere as there were 5 cars in the family.
i could write a book

AND, are you breastfeeding this baby for your own sexual pleasure?

I forgot that one! I was post cat 2 section, had an infection in my scar, and in so much pain.

These wicked mother in laws were all someone's wicked daughter in law once. But in that thread their behaviour would be justified and the victim would be told they'd done something wrong to deserve it.

That’s on your son.

My MIL constantly undermines me and/or ignores me to the point I very rarely see her now. On my wedding day she trod on the back of my dress multiple times (people saw her do it and say it wasn't accidental) then came right up to my face and said Now you're a (my surname) you have to follow MY rules!! whilst spraying me with spit. Such a charming woman.

The first time I met my future MIL she asked in a patronising tone "Who are your people?"

My reply

"I dont mind you asking impertinant personal questions so long as you dont mind my not answering."

That sort of set the tone for our future relationship.

I'm always shocked too by the MIL stories.

I'm fortunate to have an absolutely lovely MIL.

She will occasionally wind me up, the same as my own DM does but I'd call out my own mum so I'll call our his if needed.

After many years of infertility I was pregnant, DH rang to tell her ‘do you have to, but I don’t want to have anymore GC’.
like others it was the constant comments about food/weight, buying me tiny clothes to ‘slim into’. Comments then started on DC. DD is autistic and I’m glad she’s not here now to tell me why it’s my fault and how I should have been more strict to stop it.

DH will frequently reminiscence about what a great MIL she was to me, cleaning the house, childcare, cooking. She never did any of these, not even once, not anything like it. Zero interest in GC.
I was on a losing battle as she wanted DH to stay home and be her companion and clearly thought it was my fault he wasn’t.

My MIL is lovely but did some mental things when my children were babies. I’d just had a terrible birth experience with my second child and she came round with her diary. She wanted to arrange dates and times she could visit. I said I’m sorry I can’t do this now and she burst out crying and stormed off.

With my first baby she would ask to hold her and then walk out of the room and go upstairs and sit on a bed. When I asked her not to do this she burst out crying.

My MIL told my parents at the first time of our families meeting that she had really hoped DP would marry his ex. And she wonders why we've never been close!

She also never respected our wishes re: not giving DD junk food as a baby – I once caught her feeding DD Pringles when she wasn't even 1. Now she's started on our dog – I went ballistic when I caught her letting the dog lick the wrapper from a Lindor chocolate. When DP asked her WTF she was doing, she said "We used to do it with our dogs before we knew it was poisonous…" 😳😳😳

I’m upset that she has made some of the happiest times of my life worse, but it’s unbearable that she has made the hardest times of my life even harder. I’ll never forgive her.

This ^ this is exactly how I feel about my MIL

You were very foolish.
On the two occasions I’ve had an upset friend/sibling who has split with their dp I’ve remained firmly neutral.
My ds was also criticising his dw one day and I pointed out all her qualities.