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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this inheritance set up unreasonable?

134 replies

Burntt · 21/11/2025 16:34

Couple have been together 8 years.

Thinking of buying a house together/getting married. Blended family and need to have the wills discussion before financial entanglement.

Person A. 2 kids from previous relationship. One is disabled meaning they can’t really work anymore now a full time carer. Kids primary age.

Person B. 2 children from previous relationship now teenagers. Well paid job.

One shared child.

Person A owns a property and will rent it out for some income but it’s pennies compared to person B salary.

The new house will be both on the deeds and eventually spilt evenly between all children in the wills.

Other parent of children B also a high earner and has no other children. While we cannot know how that will go it’s likely children B will inherit well from both parents. Children A will get nothing from their other parent.

The question is about person A property and inheritance likely to come from grandparents.

Person B thinks the rental and both sets of inheritance should be split equally between all children in the wills. Person A would likely use inheritance to get a second rental and the rent would be joint money but once A is dead both rentals divide by 3 children (2 previous and shared child).

I’d like some outside perspective without having to talk money with friends and family.

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 21/11/2025 16:40

Treating children fairly doesn’t mean treating them
the same. I think it should all be evenly split 50/50.

Starzinsky · 21/11/2025 16:42

How does person A cover their current outgoings and kids costs?

IceIceSlippyIce · 21/11/2025 16:59

A has three kids. B has three kids.
A shares their 50% between their 3, and B does the same. Yes, that means the shared child gets twice as much.

yeesh · 21/11/2025 17:04

Will the disabled child be able to work in future? If they are reliant on benefits then the inheritance would potentially stop them so they wouldn’t really benefit?

Blueeyedtiger · 21/11/2025 17:07

IceIceSlippyIce · 21/11/2025 16:59

A has three kids. B has three kids.
A shares their 50% between their 3, and B does the same. Yes, that means the shared child gets twice as much.

Yes. I agree with this. It’s the fairest way and easy to put into practice

toomuchfaff · 21/11/2025 17:09

Person B is unreasonable to think that person A should divide their assets (the rentals) between all 5 children (if i've understood that right).

I agree with @IceIceSlippyIce

cupfinalchaos · 21/11/2025 17:10

I do think as a blended family ALL rhe children should be treated equally irrespective of any possible inheritance for their other parent. But if I were one of the grandparents in this situation I wouldn’t want my legacy to go to step-grandchildren unless I was particularly close to them.

MaudlinGazebo · 21/11/2025 17:10

current/new house: splits into 2 (person A and person B) who would then each split that three ways with a share going to a each of their respective children. Shared child gets 2 shares

Existing rental property I would split between person As three children

a new property that is bought after financial entanglement, so any property you may buy with an inheritance, I would split as per the new house you are buying. Person A is being financially supported by person B so it seems fair any assets they accumulate after that starts happening are joint.

However second rental property doesn’t exist yet so I would make the wills as above then reconsider if and when Person As parents die and you know what you’re working with.

Clarabell77 · 21/11/2025 17:11

I think it is fair because children B will also have inheritance from their father.

Collaborate · 21/11/2025 17:19

B is already funding entirely the purchase of the house in joint names so it seems only reasonable that A's property gets left to all 5 children too. Otherwise if A wants to earmark their property for their children I don't see whay B wouldn't just buy the new property on their own.

Livpool · 21/11/2025 17:35

How is person A funding themselves? Is it the
rental income only? If B is funding them then I think A is being cheeky

KoalaKoKo · 21/11/2025 17:37

If person B has paid for the new house and will be making it a joint asset that will be divided by all children then the rental property should also be treated as a joint property and split between all 5. If both A&B jointly paid for the new house my answer would be different!

The key question I would be asking is if A had never met B the children would just be inheriting the house and the inheritance, are they worse or better off because of this relationship? Similarly would B’s children be worse off because of the relationship? From the brief outline giving, A and A’s children financially benefit from moving in with B, B is willing to treat all children equally but A does not want to reciprocate.

honeylulu · 21/11/2025 17:37

Equal split between all children. A's side may have less but A and his/her eldest children are getting a huge benefit in the form of a further home all paid up by B, not just to live in but jointly owned by A.

A sounds a bit "what's yours in mine too but what's mine is mine". Not really in the spirit!

RandomUsernameHere · 21/11/2025 18:03

Person B can’t dictate what the grandparents stipulate in their wills, isn’t it likely the grandparents will leave everything directly to their own grandchildren given the situation?

Wherearemymarbles · 21/11/2025 18:07

I think B is reasonable.
B probably funding the new house and their lifestyle
so why should B’s step children get 2 houses between them plus a share of the current one and shared assets?

just because B’s kids could inherit well from the other parent is not a good reason, anything could happen.

Greenqueen40 · 21/11/2025 18:07

Completely unfair for person A's inheritance to be split amongst person B's children!! No doubt person A's parents will have an opinion about that?!

FastTurtle · 21/11/2025 18:08

What does parent A live off?

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 21/11/2025 18:15

Person A should discuss with their parents. If I was the parents of parent A I might prefer to skip a generation and leave any inheritance to my grandchildren. However, person A may well need the rental income from the two properties to be their pension as they can’t work due to the disabled child.

also fear that person A dies first and person B marries with a new will.

Person A can just change their will to leave money to only their bio children and are under no obligation to tell person B they have done that. (I’m assuming you are person A)

Wherearemymarbles · 21/11/2025 18:21

It sounds like B is bankrolling the whole show so why should their kids loose out?

if I was B I absolutely wouldn’t be getting married!

Cucy · 21/11/2025 18:49

Person As property should only go to their kids.

The shared house should be spilt between all 5 kids evenly.

Cucy · 21/11/2025 18:50

If I’ve worked hard to buy a house it will always be kept for my biological children.

Solenoid · 21/11/2025 18:59

Ypu absolutely cannot know what any children will inherit from other parents or grandparents nor when. Person B's children's other parent might outlive their children, spend the last 20 years of their life in a top price lovely nursing home funded by selling all their assets to avoid being moved to the cheapest council funded option or remarry at 80 and leave everything to their new 20 year old spouse...

If your family is genuinely "blended" then assets of the marriage are evenly split between all the couple's children, not -

"everything is family money no matter whobearns or owns what - except that when we die its different and what's yours is split between my children and yours but what's mine is my children's only ".

The child with a disability could be an exception EXCEPT that you might actually be screwing them over - be very careful about leaving them in a situation where they're too "rich" for services unless they self pay AND vulnerable to exploitation from people after their money (including the step siblings you left with a reason to be resentful and feel owed...).

Solenoid · 21/11/2025 19:04

Collaborate · 21/11/2025 17:19

B is already funding entirely the purchase of the house in joint names so it seems only reasonable that A's property gets left to all 5 children too. Otherwise if A wants to earmark their property for their children I don't see whay B wouldn't just buy the new property on their own.

Yes - why are people saying its unfair for person B's children to inherit 1/5 of person A's assets

but fine for person A's children to inherit 1/5 of person B's?

GloopityGlupp · 21/11/2025 19:05

I've noticed in the blended families I know that inheritance goes directly to the grandkids, and only a small % goes to the parent.

Saves a lot of heartache for everyone involved IMO.

2thumbs · 21/11/2025 19:10

These are my thoughts/suggestions:-

  • I would make your plans on what you have control over only, and not any potential inheritances that may or may not be received. It’s just as likely that that money could be eroded in care home fees, so will be far from a certainty.
  • Due to the disability, Person A and their children will essentially be reliant on Person B’s salary - is that correct? Whilst Person A hasn’t chosen that situation, I would understand if Person B was miffed that Person A was not planning to share their assets with the whole family unit (like Person B seems to be doing).

Ultimately, it’ll be complicated to find a truly fair solution, so I’d just keep it simple and split everything equally 5 ways.