Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

[GinaDavva]

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

And the people who think that all sounds like a load of shite are apparently the crazy ones 😂

So rather than challenge and question why we are living a society in which it is pretty much impossible for most children to get what they need to develop into healthy, well adjusted adults we expect babies/toddlers to give their own brains the love and nurturing that is needed literally to grow and develop their prefontal cortex? That's never going to work is it? However much we might want it to.

Present.

Formula fed mine from birth. Don't give a fuck if you breastfeed for 5 minutes or 5 years.

Thirsty hungry? Then they eat and drink properly in a public place. I am very pro breastfeeding but no one needs to see a 2 year old sucking at his mothers breast in a restaurant
The price of fish clear enough for you now or do you want a more detailed explanation? Along the lines of great feeding a 2 year 9ld child in public is a fetish rather than healthy parenting

Of course it’s not a specific point and the differences in thoughts around that are clear from this thread…but at age 2-3 that child is starting to develop language, emotional recognition, understanding of others, independence….all of which can be a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. As a parent we have to start to model how to cope with those emotions , how to start to learn to regulate in different settings, and as I said previously, there are other ways to do this then feed them. It’s a classic age for tantrums and I really struggle to understand why people think that feeding a child is the automatic go to, as there are going to be situations where that simply isn’t possible.

What nonsense.

They sometimes have a bottle at night as a comfort. But they don’t drink throughout the day - because they don’t need to.

Is breastfeeding a walking, talking, eating, can ask for it 2 year old at night for comfort ok then too?

I breastfed both of mine until they were just turning 3. Admittedly after around 12 months feeds were basically confined to the house at bedtimes etc. But I would not judge any woman who carried on in public. In fact, I would rather admire her. YABVVU.

To be fair she does look a tad smarmy in the picture.

The 'it's the same as having a poo in public' and 'my cat is a more dignified breastfeeding mother' comments are laughable but the fetish ones are disgusting. Are those people really saying that breastfeeding mothers of toddlers are sexually abusing their children?

A fetish? You have a sick sick mind.

I'm not sure that's supported by medical evidence is it?

I didn't breastfeed even to 2, let alone 3, but I was under the impression that nutritionally it would have been appropriate. It's very common in other cultures.

I’m not quite sure what that’s relevant to here? I would argue with your thought process that BF on demand at age 2 is what leads them to develop into “healthy, well adjusted adults” . I think that would be rather insulting premise to anyone who has been unable to BF or has chosen not to BF and there isn’t really the evidence to back up that up.

Define ‘successfully’. Only then will I be able to ascertain what the cutoff age is that you have arbitrarily decided is appropriate. The age beyond which it becomes a fetish. Fucking hell😬

I have just looked out f interest at current WHO guidelines, which say "up to 2 and beyond." No mention of fetish.

So think I'll be guided by WHO as opposed to @BusyExpert - despite the very reassuring username!

@BusyExpert so you're saying that the World Health Organisation and Public Health Agency are now promoting child sexual abuse by promoting mothers breastfeed until at least two years of age? Is that correct? Because that is the medical guidance informed by research into the health and cognitive benefits for child and mother related to breastfeeding.

I have to say that I think this thread is absolutely saturated with misogyny. Who needs the patriarchy to put women down, when some women on here do such a thorough job of it on their own? Contempt for other mothers' choices; disdain for the needs of small children; equating nursing mothers with animals; support for the contempt and shaming directed at a mother trying to feed her child despite her legal entitlement to do so: - it's all here.

And the judginess - from the OP and from others. Who cares even if this woman was an attention seeker? Not saying she was but believe it or not the law is there to protect all of us, even people who aren't particularly nice. And I write as someone who was never able to BF though I would have loved to. I am so glad the law was on the side of this mother and you would think that posters on MN of all places would fiercely defend the right of other mothers to breastfeed as they see fit.

If a restaurant isn't an appropriate place to eat then where tf is??????

Apparently the suggestion is that we should just keep traumatising every generation of children and never ever change this and never actually nurture them properly.

BF a fetish? You should be ashamed.

Anyway, enough of cats, poos and fetishes, I want to hear more about the mother and baby homes theory, but I've forgotten the poster's name!

How can breastfeeding a toddler be linked to mother and baby homes? I'm genuinely curious now!

There is however evidence that breastfeeding is related to attachment (in respect that this has been established by the act of breastfeeding between child and mother - there are of course other ways to build attachment that don't involve breastfeeding but it does become an important part of the parent child relationship where breastfeeding is happening consistently) and we also have lots of evidence that secure attachment does help with cognitive development. So that link exists in research.

We know that babies and toddlers don't have the same ability as older kids or adults to 'self soothe' which is why we are now encouraged to avoid the cry it out method for sleep training for example. It is good for children to have their basic needs met, to feel close and attached to their care provider and for children who breastfeed- breastfeeding will be a part of that dynamic. There are also lots of other benefits to breastfeeding related to immune system, gut health etc which are really important for the child. On a population level we know that formula is brilliant for children as an alternative to breastfeeding and affording women the right to choose what's best for them and their child is a hill ill die on any day, but there are some benefits to breastfeeding that formula doesn't replicate. Is it going to affect your child's career goals or old age health etc - no there's way too many variables. But if someone decides to nurse for longer I see no issue with that.

There's also children who are adjusting to a new baby in the family and suddenly having to 'share' mummy and 'share' milk who might need to be nursed more to support them with that adjustment. SEN children often have a much harder time adjusting to weaning. And tbh breastfeeding is super handy. I remember mine being almost 2 before we started weaning and taking an awful stomach bug and I couldn't get him to eat or drink anything, but he would nurse like a newborn which I was so relieved about because otherwise he'd probably have been in hospital with dehydration because they're more vulnerable to that at that age. There are so many, valid reasons why someone might breastfeed for longer and why a child might want to nurse during the day.

I'd expect an adult to be able to summon empathy and maturity about it much more than I'd expect a small child to be able to self regulate until bedtime. Especially since at that age many kids don't have the language to adequately express their needs or feelings.

You’re being obtuse. They are referring to soothing a child rather than letting it “self soothe” wtf that means (clue - nothing - kids will shut down if nobody responds to their distress. They are not soothed).