What's a reasonable amount to budget for eating out/take aways /coffees each month?

[Slothisavirtue]

If you are trying to get control of your finances? This is for someone with around £3000/month income (a mix of benefits and part time work). Their rent is only £750/month though and other fixed outgoings are fairly low (they rent from another family member which helps).

They've got teenage twins and two primary age children.

It's a family member and I am trying to get them to take control of their finances as they spend all their money every month and have nothing left for unexpected expenses). Am struggling to figure out what to suggest for eating out because at the moment they are sending nearly £400/month on it , whereas I probably don't spend a tenth of that. I want to be fair though as I am probably the opposite extreme, and I don't really eat out because I have allergies and it just never feels like the hassle

Any good websites /guides we could use ?

Have they actually asked for your help?

If so, I'd wonder how genuine they were being that they can't work this out for themselves at this stage in life?

Yes!

And very genuine. I think they've just got overwhelmed and have put their head in the sand and carried on doing things.

And I guess stopping things like eating out , buying Costa all the time isn't easy when the children have got used to all the treats.

What amount have you suggested to them?

£200 I would say for a family of 5 but that would be basically just a couple of takeaways, coffees, maybe a lunch out as opposed to dinner out. We budget 150 euro a month as a family of 4 but that wouldn't cover an evening meal out but covers a weekly take away.

No-one needs take aways.

£100 Unless they are in a very expensive area this is enough for them to all eat out at a moderately priced place once a month if it's a special occasion like a birthday, or they could make it go further and have a couple of takeaways, or one takeaway and a few coffees, or whatever.

The thread isn't about needs?

I'm genuinely interested in where you could get a couple of takeaways for a family of five for 100 a month? What kind of takeaways do you mean? i can only think of McDonalds being the only option?

I realise that. But I dont think it would be any help at this stage to suggest extreme frugality so I am trying to come up with something balanced that helps her see she can set some money aside each month just by making a few manageable changes.

They do go to McDonald's a lot at the moment. Also KFC. I think she goes there quite often on her lunch breaks too. But also they live really near all the takeaways so I guess it feels very convenient

If a person doesn't want to give up those costs they are not serious about saving money. Buying coffees and take aways are not necessities. You are not missing out in life to forego those expenditures.

I'm a single mum. I cannot enjoy a cafe latte at $7 when 4 litres of milk for my kids costs $7. There's no way I'd prioritize a mediocre take out coffee, or any other wasteful expense, over anything my kids need. It would never be a deserved treat.

£120 would be one meal out at a mid-range place, or two takeaways.

It's suprisng how quickly it adds up. Everything is so expensive now, we were £80 for a quick lunch in five guys! We can do it rarely now as a treat, whereas we used to eat out more often.

I am not sure a budget first approach works - they need to change their mindset that this is a rare treat, not an every day thing. Better for their health too. I would say that rather than a fixed amount to spend, they have a treat meal out at the end of the month (if they have money left!) and aside from that they aren't allowed anything.

I think they do want to change, but don't know where to begin, and I guess we thought it would help.motivation if I helped her by creating a budget that showed that with a few changes they could start to build a savings cushion

I would change the narrative. Do they want to ever go in holiday? £400 a month equates to £4800 a year. That is a possibilty ofa good holiday or two for us. I would much prefer that than takeaways and coffees.

I think they can grasp that in the abstract but need a budget that works in practice and doesn't feel like too radical a shift in one go. Baby steps as it were.

DB asked me for help with this and he then did a month of no coffees, no takeaways and no eating out at all, packed lunches and flasks all round! After that they knew what they missed and what they didn't, they kept the post swimming McDonalds and ditched the rest saving about £420 a month in their case.

They’d have to change their diet first of all - they need to have plenty of good options at home to make lunches and quick easy meals. It involves a massive change in terms of their habits so setting a budget wouldn’t resolve the issue. Changing lunch habits would be a good start.
It sounds like you’ve been asked to help as an easy fix when they know where the problem lies. If they’re not in real debt then I doubt they’ll take any action as a result.

Just suggest a number to trial, and if it’s too low reconsider.

Start with £100 on a cash card. See how they get on.

As others say - faced with a budget you’re more likely to be tracking down a £1 filter coffee vs spending £3.70 at Costa, or buying some supermarket pizzas for Friday night vs spending £50 at dominoes.

One takeaway a week seems about right so you’re not wasting money but also enjoying a quality of life but it depends what you’re having, pizza is pretty cheap around here but an Indian or Chinese would set you back £79 for 5 people. If I were to budget myself I think £80 per week is enough to feel like I’m enjoying my life but there have been times when I’ve had next to nothing. I’m not sure you’ll get an answer on here that’s usable as some people never get takeaways or take out coffees and some have loads. I think they would be better off working out what they can afford and spending that.

Start with all their outgoings excluding discretionary spending, which includes eating out, coffees etc. When they know how much is left over put some aside for annual expenses and then ask how much they want to save each month. Start with a goal - an emergency fund of X. Any money left over is theirs to spend as they please. I wouldn’t start with a budget for eating out because that’s an optional spend, agree a savings amount with them.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

I think you’re going around it the wrong way around. Use this budget planner to work out the cost of everything, bills, holidays etc. Work out how much they spend on school uniforms, car tax, mot, birthday presents etc over a year and set aside each money each month to cover these costs (direct debit in to separate bank account). Only then do you decide if you can go out regularly for meals etc. it’s a sobering exercise, but worth it in the long run.

(and be honest and realistic with how much they spend!)

To help sticking to it, I have a Starling card I put money for lunch/coffee on every week and if it's gone, no more lunch I haven't brought with me from home and if I have spare I save it.

It’s very hard to advise if you haven’t got that mindset. I find it horrifying how much people spend on Starbucks etc - I recently worked at a charity and the wages are not high yet people would rock in with their caramel frappucino with extra sprinkles and their Pret at lunchtime, easily costing £15 a day - and they thought I was the spendthrift because I spent that on holidays instead.

I would suggest one takeaway a week and two sets of takeout coffee. It will be hard to stop the pressure from the DCs if they are used to fancy drinks ( which are quite addictive due to the amount of sugar, caffeine and additives, not to mention unhealthy). Maybe some of the money saved could be used to financially incentivise the family. So if they spend £200 rather than £400 in a month everyone gets £10 each at the end of the month to do what they want with ?
I don’t know, it’s very much a mindset which they all need to buy into.

I think it’s important to get them to see what their life would look like without this spending and see if they can get onboard.

• what is reasonable and could they replace it with something else? is once a month ok? Once a fortnight? Once a week? Are they willing to make similar food at home or use supermarket versions? What happens to the money they save? After a while, it becomes a habit.