What's a reasonable amount to budget for eating out/take aways /coffees each month?

[Slothisavirtue]

If you are trying to get control of your finances? This is for someone with around £3000/month income (a mix of benefits and part time work). Their rent is only £750/month though and other fixed outgoings are fairly low (they rent from another family member which helps).

They've got teenage twins and two primary age children.

It's a family member and I am trying to get them to take control of their finances as they spend all their money every month and have nothing left for unexpected expenses). Am struggling to figure out what to suggest for eating out because at the moment they are sending nearly £400/month on it , whereas I probably don't spend a tenth of that. I want to be fair though as I am probably the opposite extreme, and I don't really eat out because I have allergies and it just never feels like the hassle

Any good websites /guides we could use ?

I also don't get the daily coffee habit. I make a coffee in my vacuum sealed travel mug at 7am and take it with me. If I leave it closed, it'll still be hot at lunch time. Often, the dregs are still warm when I tip it out when I get home at about 5:30.

I get it that a Costa or a Starbucks is a nice treat, but I'm not sure it's £100 a month worth of nice. Especially when I can make my perfectly pleasant coffee at home for probably less than 10p a cup.

I also don't get the daily coffee habit. I make a coffee in my vacuum sealed travel mug at 7am and take it with me

Nor me. I do the same.

I haven’t really got any choice though because I don’t go near anywhere that sells coffee.

Wow, what a waste of money.
I remember when a coffee was £1.80. Now it's £4 where we live. Goat curry in the food stall used to be £6. Now it's £9.
What we do now is share 1 coffee between us, if it's very, very cold and we are outside. Once a week we buy a £10-curry from a shop for lunch and share. This is our only 'treat'. Kids have McDonalds maybe once a year.
BUT we go on holidays instead 3x a year and enjoy great, fresh food there.
So it kind of depends what you want from life.

Yes I agree , but you’ll get accused of benefit bashing on MN.

I also agree. I work full time and I allow myself three takeaway coffees a month and maybe a takeaway every other month

I think it's a mix of evaluating what they are currently spending and how often, and then figuring out some easy steps to help them decrease. I'd also consider giving the teens a 'monthly' budget and when they've used it, that's it.

But honestly, it sounds like convenience is a big factor - their weekly shop will need to go up and potentially add in more 'ready meal' or freezer foods soo while they get out of the maccies/KFC habit, they have frozen pizzas, nuggets etc in for meals. eventually they can change that habit to be about batch cooking and pre-empting mealtimes but slowly slowly.

With the coffee habit, I'd agree an amount and put it on a giftcard. The first month, they might blow the allowance in one week and therefore learn just how much money they are going through and how quickly.

We stopped with coffees and takeaways when we started saving for our huose deposit and now it's such a rare occurence and a big treat when we do. It feels nicer this way and we get to spend the money on other things now.

Never bought a takeaway coffee in my life and im in my 60s and I likely never will, no mortgage, monthly guaranteed income (no benefits) is above your friends by about 15%.
Stop the coffee immediately!

We don't eat takeaway but my DH and I probably spent nearly £200 per month on coffees, and will maybe eat out twice a month.

We have a significantly higher household income but v rarely get takeaway coffees. Paying over £4 a cup just seems mad…. DH has actually got a small coffee machine in his office and so his coffees cost about 30p. I had a free coffee machine at work (hideous coffee but sort of drinkable). The only reason I’d get coffee out is if I’m meeting someone. And tbh if a walk was a sensible option I’d prob go for that.

My advice would be to go cold turkey on the coffees and have one meal out a month.

No idea. Its mad. What’s wrong with making your own and a packed lunch for work? Perfectly good pizzas in Aldi when you don’t want to cook.

I have a £3k income and one teenager but I'm also paying half school fees so we just don't eat out at all. The world hasn't ended and DS doesn't mind.

His dad takes him out to lunch most weekends, and that will have to be enough until fees finish next April. I don't mind either, I can wait.

DS has a weekend job now, so if he really wants to go to BurgerKing, he can pay for it himself.

Noting is wrong with it, but people can choose to spend their disposable income on what ever they fancy. That's like asking why people buy non-essential food, or alcohol, or home accessories, or nice-to-haves... because they can, and it's something they get enjoyment from.

With three teens at home, we go out several times a week for a coffee to ringfence some time just for us during the week.

Do you only ever buy things you absolutely need? No alcohol, no chocolate, no nice home furnishings. Nothing just the bare essentials for you!

Coffee - a decent coffee machine will do the same and you can pick them up for less than £75.

I prefer to have one meal out a month at a restaurant than takeaways as it’s more of an experience than anything else.

I’d say £100

If they're a bit hard up and need to keep a tight rein on the budget, I would suggest a budget of £0.00 should be allocated to takeaways and eating out! Surely those things are luxuries? They should be one of the first things to cut back on if they want the budget to stretch further.

£100 should be enough. That would cover a pizza/KFC/McDonald's/kebab type takeaway once a month, plus occasional coffees etc. There's really no need to spend more than that. More expensive options should be budgeted for.
Get a coffee machine and buy treats from the supermarket instead.
That someone on benefits has £400 to spend on takeaway is just wild to me. What a waste of money.

£0. None of those things are in any way necessary and if you can't afford them then you just don't buy them. This is not extreme frugality or deprivation it's just fnancial common sense.

That card sounds interesting, can you explain a bit how it works or post a link .

If they have 4 kids, are on benefits and only working part time, and don’t have enough money for unexpected expenses, then they shouldn’t be eating out, buying coffees or getting takeaways

I love eating out- cafes, pubs, restaurants, coffee spots, you name it. If do it every day off I could. I've ended up with a DS who is the same. However I calculated that I was spending over £100 a month on coffees, lunches, little treats just for me, so I now just dont do it. McDonalds isn't cheap. I was taking DC's and without the children's meals ( they are teens) its nearly £30 a time for food that is unhealthy and doesn't fill you up. I presume she gets so much in benefits because she has 4 children. That money isn't for McDonalds and other treats. Its to ensure her children are well fed.

Hyperjar is thecsame. You can put money into different ' jars'. Money comes out for different purposes. Mine is in my google wallet.

Not if I means that i don’t have enough money for all my necessities and some savings for the future!

So many sniffy people about! Telling you how you are doing it wrong too. I think the difficulty is that a reasonable budget is hard to state because it is ultimately discretionary and so it goes on what value this gives to you. They could go cold turkey - some people find a simple rule like that easier. Or they could halve spending. That would still provide room for some fun, but it would have to be considered. Seeing that £200 saved might encourage them to cut back further. Or maybe they'll decide that to them £200 is worth it.

I think I would have them set the budget with you. Work out what's important to them and what that would cost. Let's say a weekly coffee while kids play in the park - that's £20. Then a MacDonald's once a month when they currently have it twice etc. Working through it like this can give them some ownership of the decision and a real view of the benefits of the cutbacks. Whereas having a 'you must not buy coffee' can just make you feel contrary. In the long run this is about helping them be the one in control.

Thank you, yes I am not here to impose a solution but to try and help them visualise how a bit of cutting back will help build a cushion

But they can't! They are spending the money that should be put by for unexpected expenses. Which is why OP is trying to help. A lot of the people who say they can't afford to buy coffee out could afford it in the sense of still pay the rent. But they choose to spend it on other ways. Which is all good! They've worked out what gives them value. I also very rarely buy coffee out, because it's not worth it to me. But I will spend money on nice food etc. I could choose to spend less.