What's a reasonable amount to budget for eating out/take aways /coffees each month?

[Slothisavirtue]

If you are trying to get control of your finances? This is for someone with around £3000/month income (a mix of benefits and part time work). Their rent is only £750/month though and other fixed outgoings are fairly low (they rent from another family member which helps).

They've got teenage twins and two primary age children.

It's a family member and I am trying to get them to take control of their finances as they spend all their money every month and have nothing left for unexpected expenses). Am struggling to figure out what to suggest for eating out because at the moment they are sending nearly £400/month on it , whereas I probably don't spend a tenth of that. I want to be fair though as I am probably the opposite extreme, and I don't really eat out because I have allergies and it just never feels like the hassle

Any good websites /guides we could use ?

Work out her essentials and then see what’s left over.

I would expect someone with that sort of financial set up to be able to afford very little in the way of what are non essentials. She should be saving for emergencies. As a complete guess she should save £100 per month and have one take away a month.

I almost always take a packed lunch to work and could easily afford to buy lunch out. It’s the mindset that needs changing.

To be fair, it is mainly lots of trips to McDonald's/KFC/wing stop and then lots of little bits at Costa /Starbucks

We are a family of 5 and don't get coffees out ever. We probably get a takeaway once every 2 months or so, and that's about £50. We only eat at restaurants for special occasions. I would imagine £100 a month is more than enough for these treats, it's not fun but worth it to have a bit of a buffer left at the end of the month.

So they need to appreciate that those things are very expensive for what they are and add up hugely if done 'lots'

Can they try making the same food at home?

Aldi sell McDonald's dupes. You can get chicken wings or breaded portions, spices and marinades in every supermarket. Heron sell misshapes that are almost certainly from takeaways.

It's also very easy to reproduce, not even real cooking that requires effort or skill.

I'd suggest one takeaway and cut the coffees completely. Buy a travel mug.

We have a takeaway about once a month and its plenty.

We can all say they’re not serious about saving etc etc but god, life is tough, and the odd thing you find satisfying (and theirs could be coffee, mine is an unexpected croissant or yes a takeaway) can save a really bad day.

Such a broken system that people who are on benefits can spend £400 a month on the luxuries of eating out, coffees and takeaways, whereas people who work hard and don’t get any benefits cannot afford to do so.

Agreed. Our household earnings are a lot but our necessary outgoings are too. We’d never look to eat out and never get takeaways unless it’s to celebrate good exam results or birthdays etc. So every other month or so. People who get a coffee every day when working spend about £1000 a year. Who has that much money to waste?

If you are really struggling, your budget for takeaways/meals out/ coffee is £0. If there is money left at the end of the month when everything else that js essential is paid for, THEN you can think about that kind of discretionary spend. Although if I was struggling that much I’d be putting some of it away to cover emergencies

I agree. It sounds thoughtless and spontaneous atm. Once in the habit it’s very easy to default to McDonald’s because someone is asking and it’s the easiest option, or to just nip into Starbucks because it’s right there and you do it all the time. “I only buy a takeaway coffee on Fridays “ is easier than “I have £20 for the month to spend of coffee”.
ideally need a time and a cost limit. No point in reducing the number of visits if you are spending twice the amount per visit

I think it’s important to ramp up home eating. I eat really well at home. I meal plan and put an effort in. McDonald’s is something we have as a last resort because we’ve been stuck on the motorway or something but if you are eating fairly bland and basic food at home then McDonald’s becomes a treat. General grocery budget needs to increase to cover extra eating at home.

Honestly, I find the "eating out" culture quite strange.

Growing up in the 90s, we were comfortably off, but I wouldn't say rich. Apart from when we were actively away on holiday, we maybe ate out 3 or 4 times a year. It was a genuine treat.
I remember having a lunch time finish in Year 7 when we broke up for the Christmas holidays, and our parents took my sister and I out for a pub lunch. I remember feeling thrilled and so excited to be out for a meal!

Grown up now, we maybe eat out at a proper sit-down place 6 times a year. I'll have a Costa or Starbucks probably about once a month.

My older sister however, she and her partner eat out every single weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday they'll go out for lunch. Sister is currently unemployed but her partner earns a 6-figure salary. He also goes out to the theatre 2 or 3 times a week (he's Autistic, it's his special interest). Their bills are quite low because they have no mortgage and live in a small terraced ex-council house. But he also First Class commutes to London every day, which is no change from 10K a year. I can't help but think they must be burning through their money. They don't really "do" holidays though. Certainly sister hasn't been abroad for at least 5 years, maybe more.

I think it's just what you're used to. If your friend is currently doing weekly meals out, could they drop to fortnightly? I wouldn't see it as cutting the spend, more cutting the frequency. If they previously had an "up-scale country pub" budget, and you're asking them to swap to a "McDonalds" budget, then of course they're going to find that hard. But they might find it more palatable to do the "naice pub" monthly, rather than weekly.

As he's autistic commuting first class probably makes a lot of sense to be fair as it will reduce the exhaustion from travelling.

I’m also shocked at this!

I hardly ever eat out, as it’s 1) expensive and 2) less healthy. I also prioritise saving for the future.

As a taxpayer I do resent paying benefits to others who spend it on takeaways rather than on necessities!

We have takeaways once a quarter - but I've swapped skill and time for money spendings. I can now make an excellent chicken gyro, £10 for all of us instead of £8 each. It takes planning and advance thinking. That's what you need to look at getting in there. Maybe as an intermediate stage get them to take the cost of a takeaway, halve it and go to the supermarket and buy convenience food instead?

Family of five here; higher household income than your friend. For context: we do not ever eat out (maybe three times a year?) or ever get takeaways (literally never). I am scandalised by the price of "cheap / rubbish" meals out can do so much cheaper (and v easily) at home. We do spend money on coffees because that is a going out treat, and we probably do it once a week. It feels like a lavish treat to us and we value it as such. We are very intentional on what delivers value to us in terms of our outgoings. Going to the theatre / ballet / musicals / shows is where it's at for us and we probably do 4 of those (sometimes more) a year. We take picnics. It's about being really really clear about what you value over other things. For us: we value not being in debt; we value being able to go to shows as a family; we value buying nice food for us to eat at home; we value educational spends (our kids are not privately educated but we have spent on tutors over the years). Those are worth more to us than takeaways. Agree with PP about it's not just about spending money or target budgets it's about being very intentional about your lifestyle. Everyone wants to go out for easy meals and buy the pretty jumpers that they see, but if you are clear you are not doing it because you want to pay your heating bill without it waking you up at night; or get new tyres; or whatever it is -- THAT is where it becomes clearer. I do think keeping tabs on what you are spending and then looking at it and making decisions about what you are willing to change is the way to do it. Perhaps your friend really does value the ease of takeaways and coffees over anything else. That's absolutely fine and a valid choice: but it is better if it is intentional and your friend is explicit and clear about what that means they cannot have. (What choices they are closing down as a result.)

I was absolutely shocked how much I spend on takeaways in a month - just did my budgeting for 2026, and analysed my 2025 spend. Those days when work is crazily busy, there's no time to cook and kids start moaning that they are hungry and they won't eat this or that, it is just such an easy option. But in the annual equivalent, it is indeed equivalent to two luxurious holidays.

This thread is weirdly making me feel very grateful for my allergies that means we dont do takeaways and rarely eat out!

I get your point, and it's probably at least partly that. But he's also very "look at me, look at me!" with his money. He likes to tell people exactly how much things cost and throw money out there with a whole "just because I can!" smugness. He commuted perfectly happily on a normal ticket for years, and then moved up to First about 5-8 years ago. He still mentions his "very expensive First Class ticket" at least weekly on his social media.
He's very much a "do whatever I want and to hell with everyone else" type of character.

Ah!

Yeah I am the opposite I drive an old banger and I don't care , it gets me from A to B. I probably would eat out more if it wasn't for my allergies, but it's so much hassle it just doesn't feel worth it!

Personally, I spend zero on takeaway/coffee etc but I don't make anywhere NEAR as much as your relatives.

Takeaway as an occasional TREAT can still be cheap. We're talking say once every 7-10 days, A dessert item (ex small sundae from McDonald's) or A taco/A container of chips. NOT entire meals.

Daily coffee habit? That's laziness/convenience though some people say "it's part of my morning routine"... Yeah but how much does coffee cost (x 5 days/wk x 4 wks/month) and how much time is spent getting it vss cost and time at home.

Like losing weight, budgeting (to lose money waste) ain't fun or easy at first. The "diet" is hard to get used to.
Then you get used to it and it's fine.

So our income is much more than that.

I never get take away coffee, and only get lunch if I am meeting a friend (I take my own lunch to work). But we probably get a couple of take aways as a family each month. I can’t see how someone on benefits / working part time can afford take away coffees or lunch.

My teenage kids get pocket money and can have take away coffee from that (usually when with friends).

I would suggest a family take away each month plus coffee when meeting someone - never on own.

In your friend’s situation, £0.

Totally Agree with this! There is a thread going about spending £2000 gift on a pair
of earrings. Many PPs saying don’t do it, save the money for emergency fund or pension.

In the same vein tell your relative to stop buying take away’s, they may be able to have a budget that stretches across the month and with good budgeting have a little bit let over.

£400 a month eating out/ take away’s is a lot.

I agree with this 👆

We only have take aways/eat out when it's a birthday. I have teenagers too! We don't do it any other time. They need to change their mindset to become more healthy and save more.

Your friend is spending £400 per month just on takeaways?

I spend that amount on groceries, although it’s now more like £450-£500 due to the high food price inflation.

I’m intrigued how someone working part time has so much money for a luxury like takeaways??