To ask how you survive this cold as an office worker?

[ColdToesandWarmHeart]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I am freezing. Down to my bones. I have a heating pad under my jumper and a blanket on me and I finally feel warm for the first time this week.

I have ordered a hot water bottle but I don’t know what else I can do. I’m freezing. I’m on Mounjaro so I think it’s that, but I’m just so miserable.

It's 17C in my office as the heater's bust. I have a tiny hot water bottle. Usually it's like the tropics in here so it's a bit weird.
I wfh some days and have the best thing ever - a heated poncho. Costs pennies. Some of them are battery or USB power bank operated and so you could wear one and it wouldn't be obvious.
If you have problems boiling full kettles, then see if you can get a Kelly kettle. You heat the water using rubbish (I burn what would go into the paper recycle bin) or bits of wood. They're for outside use and are camping gear (which is why I got mine) but they are very useful at home too if you have the time to feed them cardboard while they boil.
Good luck. I do think you are being treated unfairly though.

Everyone labelling him as abusive are honestly disgusting people.

I agree. Do star jumps in the ladies every time you go for a wee. I do sympathise though, when I get really cold I’m cold for ages.

If he was "just tight" or skint he'd be happy for you to pay extra towards having the heating on.

Living in a house that's 7-11C is not normal, very few people can be comfortable in those conditions.

I have a small heater under my desk.

Well of course you don’t think it’s abusive, you’ve been groomed to think it’s normal. That’s how it works.

No he's disgusting.

But either way, you need to move out. Even if he is just a bit quirky for your health and comfort move out. It will be worth it.

Oh dear love

it is abusive behaviour to keep the heating so low that you feel very cold and miserable and it will be damaging your lungs

of course you dont like to think in those terms

but what other people do is not work for someone like that, or report them to authorities as the temperature is illegal - which you don’t want to do because “love”

edit to add - it is not right to think of heating as a waste of money - it’s at best disturbing

Do you think abusive means he hits you? There’s more than one kind of abuse.

My lungs are fine

he is not abusive. Pretending he is, is disingenuous.

I don’t think your dad not having the heating on is a bad thing in this situation, as hopefully you are more adjusted to the cold than you would be if he did.

I work in a prison and so obviously very restricted on what I can bring in (not even allowed a metal fork or tin foil for sandwiches).
And obviously very restricted on what I can do during the day.
I definitely can’t bring a hot water bottle or snoodie either.

I do try and walk as often as possible as this is the best way to warm me up.

But apart from that gloves is the main one that I find helps.
Also thermal under layers and socks but my hands are the main thing - if they’re cold I literally can’t cope.

I layer up and am grateful I’m not my husband whose a builder/roofer and is working outside in the freezing cold 😂

oh you know better than the medical profession ?

it’s painful but he isn’t wrong ? He isn’t being abusive ?

physically hurting someone isn’t abuse ?

step Back

give yourself a hug

you are worth so much more than you believe

A long sleeved thermal vest an absolute must for keeping warm!

He’s not abusive.

https://www.scie.org.uk/safeguarding/adults/introduction/types-and-indicators-of-abuse/

It's neglect.

"Failure to provide or allow access to food, shelter, clothing, heating, stimulation and activity, personal or medical care"

He’s not my cater so can’t neglect me.

Heated gilet.. game changer..

If you dad won't heat the house above 11C, won't allow you a heated blanket (which uses the same electric as a light bulb) and doesn't care you are freezing, that is emotional abuse.

Abuse doesn't mean hitting you.

Do you pay 'rent' to your parents for living at home?

Ok so if he's not abusive plug in a heated blanket and an electric heater. If he doesn't like it tell him he's being unreasonable and you will pay half the electric bill.

What possible objection could he have?

He’s always been like this. I wouldn’t say he’s abusive, he just grew up without central heating and is very precious about it. He sees it as burning money because it heats all the areas of the house without people in it. I don’t even have a radiator in my room

He can turn the rads off in rooms that aren't used.
You don't have a radiator in your bedroom? Why was central heating not put in the bedrooms? Weird.

Many of us grew up without central heating. My parents didn't have it till I was 16. But I had a convector heater in my bedroom and when it was freezing I was 'allowed' to keep it on low overnight.

How old are you?

Are you able to move out and rent your own flat? Even a studio flat would be better than what you have now at home.

Your dad is being a bully. I wonder what your mum thinks of his behaviour? Does she not have any say in what he does?

Complaining you boil a kettle to make a drink is ridiculous. And anyway you can get kettles that just boil a small amount of water.

You've become so used to his behaviour and think it's normal when it isn't.
It's verging on abuse because it's neglecting your basic needs like warmth.
You just can't or won' t see it.

We had an extension upstairs. Originally they couldn’t get them up there because of something to do with the construction. They had the option to add them a couple of years ago but he said no.

No we're not.

I'm surprised the warm glow of martyrdom isn't keeping you toasty.

Are you on a very low salary?
Why would you put up with this from your parents when you could be independent and living in your own place?

If you were a 10 year old and telling a teacher at school about how cold you were, how the house was 11C and how you weren't allowed to boil water for a hot drink (or it was frowned upon) , or use a heated blanket, they would contact social services and your parents would be visited.

Can't you see this for what it is?