How do you stop yourself wanting all the things?

[Gettingabitnippynow]

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

I am similar, i was on a really tight budget for ages, so it wasnt habit to look at (unneccessary) things for myself because i wouldnt be able to afford it.
I think on a practical level if I already had stuff at home, unless it was getting old or tatty then Im not usually tempted to buy more.
I have some Christmas pjs, that I bought about 6 years ago (from Facebook market place, so not new) but i actually very rarely wear winter pjs so even if I liked a style of new ones, I wouldn't think it was worth it

I just don’t engage with it at all. I don’t go shopping. I buy things I need from the internet. If I do have to go into a shop and happen to see these sorts of items, I’m not tempted to buy because they don’t appeal to me. So much stuff in the shops is poor quality. I’m not drawn to it. I’m not interested in candles or home furnishings or clothes. On the very very rare occasion that something catches my eye, I ask myself if I need it and if it is good for the planet. If the answer is no to either or both, then I don’t buy it.

I tell myself I'm not going to buy a single thing until I've unpacked and reviewed what I have. When you accrue seasonal things it's easy to forget when you're out and about. I don't have landfill tat. I have dishes, decorations etc that I've built up over the last 25 years, and are carefully packed away each year. So even when I'm drooling over a gorgeous cake stand, or serving dish, I don't allow myself anything until I see/remember what I have.

I agree with the previous poster - warm check red or green tartan pj's will last all autumn winter and still look festive. I found some one year in a Ralph Lauren outlet, I bought them before I met my ex-husband and they are still perfect 23 years later! I also have tartan check warm bedding which looks very festive.

Table runners/napkins in tartan or red/green look festive on a dressed up Christmas table but also are functional for longer.

My son has had the same wooden advent calendar for the last 21 years. I just change the treats I put in it.

And I have family members just dying to get a hold of all my old Swarovski sample sale baubles. 😉

I don’t like tat or extraneous items, so I’m not particularly tempted to buy lots of stuff.

I have no problem not wanting those particular things- I have the same Christmas decorations as I had 15-20 years ago and it wouldn’t occur to me to buy new seasonally-themed items for Christmas,Halloween, Easter just because it suited some marketing executive’s strategy to get my money. I do struggle with wanting better furniture and high quality renovations in my house, however, but no amount of wanting is going to conjure up the thousands of pounds my plans require. So I have no choice but to wait and save and plan and do it bit by bit!

Personal finance/money management experts often recommend having a good audit/declutter of what you currently own as a means of keeping your desire to buy more in check. I found this was a really good method (during lockdown especially). Also, giving your possessions some love - painting skirting boards, polishing furniture, pressing clothes, whatever- can calm the wish to spend and have more.

I try really hard not to buy useless crap but then I see necessities like this and I have to buy it

This is exactly how I feel. It’s why going into shops at all makes me feel anxious hence I avoid it as much as possible.

Write down the cost of whatever things you want to buy. Add it all up, then decide if that was the best use of your money.

Christmas is minimal here and we don't do it every year. When we do though, some of our decorations are over 70 years old. The memories and history they hold are far more meaningful than some imported tat from B&M or Dunelm (other tat emporiums are available).

I do actually have a Christmas mug, I was given it about 15 years ago. One is enough, a different one would be no better at holding my coffee.

I remember going into our local garden centre in the week before Christmas last year, it was still jam packed with horrible blue and silver tat, I remember thinking this won’t sell know and I doubt if it will be saved for next year because no doubt there will be new tat to sell. So is it all going to get thrown away which would be a shocking waste. I read somewhere that every toothbrush you’ve ever owned is still in existence, a horrifying thought.
I usually buy just one or two beautiful proper glass baubles for the tree each year. My girls are all adults now and they love looking for all their favourites each year.

I don't think it helps that everyone seems obsessed with seasonal decorations at the minute and it's become a competition on how well decorated your house is.

It's all just cheap shite that you have to find storage for the other 10 months of the year.

This. Either I need to find a place to put it/store it (and I live with a DH and DS who collect clutter and never seem to get things into a bin), or I will have to throw it away. And then, if its plastic it will be in the earth forever, and even if it's most other stuff, it will be in the ground for a long time. And then I think about that pile of waste near Oxford, and how there are probably a lot of other piles like it.

I like stuff. And I like buying stuff for my kids. But I'm increasingly stressed by the contents of the house, or by having to bin all the plastic bits they've accumulated. So I'm really trying to buy things that are needed, or have permanence, or buying second hand so that I'm extending the life of something that exists: I buy all Xmas jumpers/outfits second hand. It's not always possible - my kids get plastic rubbish, and I somehow have five pairs of nail scissors none of which I can find when I need them - but we're getting better at it.

When I worked full time before children I was in the fortunate position to buy almost whatever I wanted (clothes, candles etc) and would often do so.
Now I work part time and have two kids, I am much less frivolous with my money. As cheesy at it sounds, I realise I don't need to buy every nice candle and pair of jeans that I spot in the shop! It's actually quite refreshing as I no longer have as much stuff in my house just cos I wanted it!

Window shop.. that's what I do. And if I I find myself thinking about something for a while, I'll go and purchase it as it's less of a whimsical buy.

ETA - we usually choose a Christmas bauble each year as it's lovely to buy new decorations but less tat to home.

Do you spend much time on social media OP? I think when you are you’re seeing influencers with perfect homes, perfect Christmas decorations, Christmas pyjamas it makes you think you need those things. It’s never ending. You don’t need all the things, stuff doesn’t make you happy.
Maybe as a concession to all the over consumption that is pushed on us, buy your DC a lovely decoration for the tree each year, which is someone small, you can look at, can be packed away and used again.

Yes, we are the berry gatherers! They shoot the meat, which does more meals.

It’s natural to want to get your DC lovely things, but I’m not a big consumer for myself, so don’t buy myself much at all.

Re the DC I try and get them the big presents they’d like (if affordable and not ridiculous) and other treats, but no I don’t feel the compulsion to get everything I see in the shop.

OP I completely get where you are coming from!
I have struggled with this sort of thing my whole life, I love shopping and I love spoiling my family.
I have sort of solved the feelings by becoming a charity shop addict.
(and more recently a Vinted shopper since I’ve become less able to get out and about thanks to severe osteoporosis in both my hips)
They satisfy my ‘need’ to shop but at the same time save things going into land fill and charity benefitting (or sellers on Vinted)

We did this , we took far too much , and 14 years later brought a lot of it back. Don’t take furniture. Be ruthless , we weren’t and suffered for it!

It's ok to like things. It's ok to like everything. It doesn't make you materialistic.

Enjoy the shopping for what it is. Browsing items you love to look at, festive music in the shops, the smell from all those yummy over priced food stalls at the Christmas market. Enjoy the environment that shopping at this time of year creates.

Don't feel sad that you can only take one item from a few that you like. Nothing is special if you have everything ❤

All the things (the wastage, the commercial aspect) makes me feel uncomfortable at what this world is actually coming to. . I work for Amazon and TikTok as an influencer and when you look at it from behind the scenes you see how much pressure is put on you in a sneaky way to want all the things it makes you feel totally manipulated. .

I know exactly what you mean, OP. The shops seem to be full of lovelier and lovelier cosy Christmas housey things every year.

I try to stay strong by thinking about the cost. But then I bought a Christmas rat from the wtf aisle in ALDI last night because I just could not resist him.

I could easily afford these things but have no desire to buy them, nor would my dd/family want to receive them! I don't even own a Christmas jumper as I think they are silly, if I am required to wear one for a work even I just stick a bit of tinsel and some mini baubles which I already own on a normal jumper.

I know someone who has an entire dinner service just for Christmas. I think that is insane!

This is interesting as there are certain people who are inclined to show love through gifts.

A variation on this is those who bake and cook.

I think it’s a good idea to get your Christmas boxes out of the loft at around this time.

Once you realise what you have, the urge to buy more is lower.

I currently feel like I don’t have any Christmas items, so the temptation to buy is easily justified… once I’ve got the boxes out though, I know I’ll remind myself I’ve got plenty and don’t need to…!

TBH I love Christmas , but I hate all the tat...teddies, mugs, jumper, pjs etc. and do not give them house room.
Each to their 'Christmas' own 😁

I moved to buying almost all my clothes from Vinted and charity shops last year and it has really curtailed my interest in 'stuff' as I just don't go into high street shops as much as I'm as not interested in doing so