How do you stop yourself wanting all the things?

[Gettingabitnippynow]

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

I bought "grown up" Christmas Eve boxes when my kids were mid teens, to replace the childish plastic ones they'd always had. They were devastated 🙈. Traditions matter, not new stuff.

I would consider all of that stuff tat, and I would honestly feel stupid if I bought it just because it has Christmas on it. I buy Christmas pjs every year, but they are worn all the time so not a waste.

Capitalism is built around people wanting more so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it!

My two tips:
Take photos of stuff you like and tell yourself you’ll come back for it if you can’t stop thinking about it for a week
Pin things to a Pinterest board online

Often this is enough for me without actually buying All The Lovely Things.

You are a retailers dream and not alone. They lay out all these pretty goods in a way designed to draw you in. I don’t like shopping so don’t often find myself tested so that stops you wanting stuff. Similarly I don’t scroll through websites feeling tempted. Ultimately though I have four or five rules I set myself and questions which go through my head before buying stuff. Do I want it or do I need it? Can I afford it or do I already have something similar? Is there space for it in my home and if I get it do I get rid of something I already have? Keeping to a budget also helps. I prefer spending money on travel rather than stuff so that figures in my thought process too.

I was exactly like this a few years ago but now I've really cut back. I'd rather go out and do things than have things. I'm looking forward to going around and seeing the light displays and markets but won't be buying any new Christmas bits.

I use a budgeting app and have different pots for different categories. When I see the fun tat, I have to decide if it’s worth coming out of the pot, or would I rather spend that allocated money on something else. 99% of the time, it’s not worth it, so I don’t buy the tat.

No, I don’t feel the need to buy much. If I see something I really like I buy it but there isn’t much that I want. I don’t have Christmas pyjamas, mugs, candles etc and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I like looking at stuff in the shops but don’t feel a strong need to buy most of it. Interesting question and answers.

This is how shops and the retail sector lure you in. Making everything seem so shiny and appealing and as if your Christmas will be inferior without it all.
It’s all tat at the end of the day. Pushed upon us in a society obsessed with consumerism. Ask yourself if you’ll be wanting to try and find a home for all that crap in January! You already know the answer.

This is excellent advice. Thanks.

Please move over. I’m trying to reach the jam & cream rings.

Not tempted myself OP.
I achieved having my home decluttered and keep it this way, it's bliss.
A few lights, a few decorations I really like and use them every year. Quality few items rather than keep buying shit.

Once you see it this way yoir house is always tidy. You have money to do all things worth doing. And you just don't want to buy stuff. Once you change the mindset for this and other things (clothes, new sets of everything for the house, shoes, whatever) is the best thing ever. Stop buying. You will be way happier.

@Calliopespa That is sooooooo me!
I also bake, cook and am a ‘feeder’!!
When my now adult DC’s were small money was tight and I couldn’t afford to spoil them as much as friends could their children and I was so envious.
Buying ‘pre-loved’ wasn’t really a thing then so new and full price was really the only way.
Now I’ve got 3 small DGC I can spoil them on a budget. The whole of their Advent bags (Christmas jumpers, socks, books, pj’s etc they receive on Dec 1st) and their Christmas presents have been bought from Charity shops or Vinted

My mum is similar and it does resonate - and makes me feel loved.

My dad is good with spending time doing activities but was much more "no, you don't need that" when we were growing up. Both are nice and do result in family feeling loved.

Why are some people buying new PJs for their full-grown adult selves each year? I have two sets of linen PJs, plus a cotton pair which goes with a vest/camisole. They’re all between 5 and 10 years old and still in good nick. Are some people digging turnips in theirs? Do they wear out that fast?

This!

I am someone who keeps hold of things and tries my best to take care of them so every year I have perfectly usable mugs, Christmas themed goods I can reuse, that dosnt stop me seeing new things and thinking o I want that, especially for my DDs, but I try and be sensible about it, if it’s not needed and money can be better spent elsewhere I don’t buy it.

There have been times when moneys ok, I can afford to treat us so I might, if I do it’s the one in and one out rule, if I’m buying new Christmas mugs then old ones get donated straight away.

The itch to buy it definitely strong though, I will regularly put things in the trolley, go back and take it out, get to the checkout and say actually no I’m not buying that now. I like to think by the time I’m at the checkout my common sense has kicked in and I realise it’s a waste of money.

She’d be a right sparkly twit 🤣🤣🤣

For me christmas brakes the seal so to speak. Im not a big spender in general but when I have to start buying presents the more I see and the more I want. I dont really want much for me but I constantly want to buy things for my children. I try and keep it as sensible as I can.

The things you have listed don't appear to me, but other things such as fashion and the prairie style dresses that are fashionable right now do.
I've calmed down alot on the addictive buying, but when I was incessantly wanting, Vinted 'helped' because there's alot of things for sale that I hugely desired... usually at a much lower price.
I've bought a huge amount from there and everyone that has seen my clothing hoard remarks on how bountiful it is.
However, I've been able to reflect and understand that I don't need any more (mostly).
The main catalyst for me buying so much was the fact that I didn't have enough clothes as a child or enough clean clothes.
Many clothes that I bought for myself (despite being in my 30s) was taken away from me by my abusive mother because she didn't approve of them or wanted reaction from me.

I enjoy financial stability more than stuff. I don't want all the stuff. I also hate the idea of having more than is reasonable clogging up my home. But my parents never threw anything away and are basically hoarders. I don't want to be like that. But I do budget for things I don't need if they bring me joy. I have a wooden countdown to Christmas day that starts 1 Dec and has my son's name on it.

I remind myself that I quite like not being homeless because I’ve spent the rent money on Christmas stuff 😄

I do love a Christmas mug, but only if it feels nice to hold them, so I’d probably get one of those. They get used all year round. And I always have Christmas pyjamas. Actually, not necessarily Christmas pyjamas. I give DH a list of the ones I like and he picks a pair for me. I don’t care if they’re festooned with Scandi style houses or images of the Grinch. I’ll wear them all year round until they start to disintegrate, I’ll patch them up and wear them for a bit longer, and then when they’re beyond repair, they either go in the bin or in the rag box to polish brass with. We always get a couple of nice baubles, but I don’t bin the old ones; the tree is massive and never full up. My favourite Christmas buy this year is a pink glass plate from Dunelm, shaped like a sweet. It’s tacky, gaudy and I love it.

I am a reformed shopper - was a shops dream - buy everything you have listed. I have moved 5 times in the past 5 years and now finally in my forever home. I have realised how much crap i have, the volume is unreal, i have slowly been clearing everything out , i dont need endless xmas mugs, picked some nice ones and rest donated. Same with xmas jumpers, found some with tags on never worn, again picked three nice ones and donated the rest. Now i look at stuff think where i will put it, do i have the space, do i need it do i have similar in my wardrobe etc. Also if people buy me stuff now for me or the house, if not needed etc goes in charity bag or regifted or sold. You don't need new xmas pyjamas every year, you don't need xmas eves boxes, blankets etc. Instead of buying stuff now our family doe a nice dinner or day out instead, i Have just booked lunch in a nice place for xmas eve. I am focusing on experiences now as apposed to stuff

I struggle with this. I try a few different things to put me off. It doesnt always work but it helps.

I walk away. Most of the time, a sleep or 2 will help me realise that I dont actually want whatever it was. The amount if times Ive forgotten about that thing I was desperate to buy is crazy!

I think "is this the best and is it perfect for what I want?". If it's almost perfect then the answer is no and it goes back. Id rather have one perfect Christmas jumper that I love wearing year after year than 6 ok ones.

Where will I keep it? Will I really want to be moving more Christmas decorations in and out of the attic?

What will I do with it? Like actually do with it. Not what do I plan to do with it.

How many hours did I have to work to pay for it? Is that bauble really worth dealing with Sue from HR for 2hrs last week?

With Christmas decorations we have a rule that my son and I can each buy one new decoration a year. I realised last year that the amount of decorations makes putting up the tree not fun. Some also got broken. This year Im going to be ruthless and get rid of a lot.

When I get rid of stuff, I try to think aboit how much it cost and whether it was a good use of that money eg did we get £5 worth of enjoyment from it. If not, then think aboit why not and what made me buy it.

Avoid TK Maxx at this time of year! It's tat heaven (and I love it!).

I know this all sounds preachy and judged, but it's only me judging me and trying to make better decisions for me.

I tell myself that it's likely a consequence of my ND brain (ADHD), which is wired to like shiny stuff and make impulsive decisions. I remind myself of the piles of previously shiny stuff now cluttering my house which I still have to sort out. I promise myself that if I still want whatever has caught my eye in a week's time, I will think about what can be cleared out, rehomed or recycled to make space for it if I really think it will bring me joy in some way.

As the years go by, what I used to get excited about, now just looks like tat. Usually plastic tat. Otoh, the advent calendar you describe must be lovely.

Just imagine having to dust and store it all. Then bring it all down again next year.

I used to love candles and had lots of them, but now I’m aware of the fire risk and the health risks. I am also aware of the cynicism that churns this stuff out. And that it will all be churned out again for next year.

If it’s pretty and you can afford it then treat yourself.

I have the shopping bug, but I've turned into a bit of a side hustle now, so I'll buy stuff on offer/discount eg the beauty advent calendars, split them up keep some for myself and sell the rest to make (most of) the money back - most shopping isn't about having the thing, but acquiring the thing, so this scratches the itch and keeps me busy without going into debt.
ditto vinted, I'll buy second hand clothes wear them for a bit then sell them and use the money to buy the next thing.

so if you don't have oodles of cash to waste it's about finding a way to scratch the itch that works.