How do you stop yourself wanting all the things?

[Gettingabitnippynow]

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

I do this by taking pictures of the thing I want. If I find myself looking longingly at the picture a few days later, maybe I do really want it, as opposed to just because it’s there in front of me and instant dopamine in the moment. Doesn’t always mean I end up buying it, and it’s certainly stopped me buying anywhere near as much in the moment!

Note, ‘want’ not ‘need’… I’ve reluctantly accepted there is very little I actually need after many years of buying stuff just because!

Yes 😁

Yep we do this. Our girls get to each pick a new Christmas decoration each year, and when they leave home they can take them all with them if they want.

They also get a Christmas jumper and pj's each year as they for some reason like to match (I'm definitely not into children matching) and then I donate old ones to PTA jumper sale. I fully acknowledge this is a waste of money, but they rarely ask for 'stuff" so I agree yo this as it's important to them

We are planning to move to Spain next year and have started declutterrating in preparation.
the idea of adding to what we have is horrifying

Go to a charity shop and buy your fill of Christmas tat for a few quid, then donate it all back next year. That's what I do. Baubles are 10p each, mugs 3 for a quid, Christmas jumpers and PJs £2.

I’m exactly the same. I find it hard to find things I genuinely want to buy for my children. So much plastic tat that I don’t want in my home or their lives. Toys not quality anymore. Sad.

My advice is to keep it simple. Christmas is not about tat from China.

I would try and focus on how nice it would be to feel peaceful and calm, and how wanting and acquiring stuff is actually stressful in comparison. This is what I try and do.

I disagree - a materialistic person to me is someone who actually values wanting stuff above the important things in life, and who judges others on what they have

De clutter your entire house. Oh my lord it takes forever and I'm not even a shopper. We get lots of tat gifts at Christmas it's really de valued the want to buy anything like that for me. Knowing I'll be sorting it out for hours re gifting binning charity shopping it.
I have no shopping apps on my phone and provably visit an actual shop every 4/5 months. You soon get out of the buying habit and don't even think about it.

I much prefer vinted and secondhand over buying new and it's cheaper on the whole. I also find having not much money helps 😂

No. It's clutter to me. I hate shopping this time of year.

I have a teenage daughter. I imagine the lovely throw / pyjamas / candle lying on her bedroom floor. As that is where it will end up.

Works like a charm!

I feel like that OP, especially recently. Would love to be able to decorate for a really beautiful Christmas. I don’t have much Christmas stuff but I also have nowhere to store more. The lack of space and money stops me from buying anything, and I try to take my mind off the things by focusing on other life stuff until I forget about them.

What is it that actually makes you want all that stuff though? Is it a feeling they’d make Christmas more magical for the family?

I honestly can’t imagine wanting all that. Family members bringing all the Christmas tat around for our kids is bad enough!

We have Christmas decorations, most of which we’ve had for years and we occasionally add to/replace but we don’t have any Christmas “stuff”

So no Christmas jumpers, PJs, bedspreads, crockery or mugs.

I always felt that buying small children a Christmas jumper every year which would then be thrown out was outrageously wasteful so my children didn’t get one until they stopped growing.

I don’t own one at all.

I do love Christmas - but Christmas shouldn’t be about stuff.

I agree with this entirely. When I was younger and perpetually skint, I always wanted more whether it be clothes, gadgets, make up, household items etc. Now that I have enough money to buy whatever I'd like (within reason), I no longer feel the desire to buy things. I realised it doesn't actually make me happy, it's just a little dopamine hit which disappears as quickly as it came. I think a big part of wanting things is being unable to have them, or to have them sensibly. I now cringe when I think how I frittered money away on things I couldn't really afford when I was younger.

Then she’d be a right twit 😁

Over The years we collected a lot of stuff so a few years back I did a proper sort out. Invested in an expensive prelit huge trea that we love. Also went through the decor and kept the sentimental or expensive ones. Each year we add more but it’s one or two pricier items. If it’s genuine tat then leave it, but if it’s stuff that you will use again then go for it

I don't own any Christmas-themed objects, but if I did, it wouldn't occur to me to buy new ones every year. If wanting stuff is really a problem for you, I'd suggest staying out of shops for the time being.

😂You win my MN favourite comment award for this week.

Actually, no second (behind a poster who cautioned that calling a girl Harris might open her up to nn Harissa.)

Unfortunately we're conditioned into believing that buying all the things equates to a happy Christmas.

Rubbish, throwaway society.

But she would have new sparkly stuff 😁

I can't keep it up this proper made me laugh 🤣🤣

Oh watch out!

This is a lovely tradition which we did growing up BUT it was incredible how we all seemed to remember choosing the same ones as "ours" so make sure they are listed somewhere. You could do this as a tasteful "memories" list for each year, (2025: x chose this, y chose that) rather than obviously allocating them.

We got into such a bunfight my mother kept them in the end and we have to see them at her house, which works for now! It is about the only big squabble over things we have had as siblings - and I hate to think how the Christmas decorations will be shared out when my mum dies! I still have one in mind I just KNOW is mine and they all say it isn't!😡

Im very lucky as there’s hardly ever anything I want.

If there is something I want then I usually don’t buy it straight away as I worry about spending the money (even if it’s only £3).

I regularly wait so long to buy something that it gets taken off the shelves and then I spend months kicking myself, looking all over eBay etc trying to find it - this happens multiple times a year and I still haven’t learnt my lesson!

I grew up very poor and my mum was a hoarder so I’m sure there’s something psychological going on but I just don’t tend to buy things unless they are practical.

I think most women do tend to buy unnecessary things.
Most men would be happy with a sofa and tv but women tend to need to fill the room with other bits.
Maybe it’s an evolutionary thing.

To summarise the teachings of the Buddha “stop wanting stupid shit”