Do you give her Dc a present for an outstanding school report

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Or do you just say Well done?

No, good school reports are expected and not unusual or needing rewards here. What ‘good’ looks like also depends on the child. 7/8’s would be low for my son, I’d be gently enquiring if there’s an issue somewhere. For my daughter (now at uni) 7/8’s would have been normal/good. Kids always get lots of praise for effort of course. I don’t ‘reward’ exam results either but we do have treats in the holidays, randomly etc and for any specific special moments. Both kids are v happy with their lots 😀

Not gifts but maybe a nice lunch

No. I think it puts pressure on them or rewards them for the wrong reasons.

I usually take him out for dinner or let him choose a takeaway as a treat.

Just say well done. I don’t really think every achievement needs a monetary reward, praise is enough.

💯

We praised effort and hatd work, not results

Mine don’t get gifts or money for good grades but they do get them for good effort - if they were to get a report that said they’d got outstanding grades but they were nasty, rude and disruptive then of course not. If they were to get one where their grades weren’t so good but their effort, kindness and enthusiasm were first class then yes, they would.

Mine are still primary aged, a good school report or parents evening (like others I really focus on the effort and not the grades) gets them a chocolate bar from the corner shop and DH will let them buy some kind of small add on for whatever game they’re playing (we usually say a firm no to those). So about £5 total each and they are over the moon with that!

No , I haven’t given a present, but you could always treat them to a Costa hot chocolae, for example.

No.

Research shows that intrinsic rewards are more effective than extrinsic ones.

I always gave my sons a £10 bonus when they had a good school report or a prize/mention from school

Yes I get my kids some kind of treat with every report, they get 3 a year, something more substantial for the summer one (not massive, about £20, not cash, it’ll be a gift, they have winter birthdays so works out nicely)Grandparents often get something for the end of year one too! I’ve always viewed school as their work, and in work we reward good performance! I focus on the effort marks.

Same here. DD always got a "well done".
I didn't even get her a graduation present. I didn't even know they were a "thing".

However, as she has a summer birthday we gave always done something special around then anyway.

I reward efforts rather than results, but not with cash. If they achieved something really spectacular academically I might do as a PP said and let them choose the venue for a meal out or a takeaway or something like that, but I tell them all the time that I don’t care how their results are, I’m focused on the grade and comments in the effort column of the grade sheet

School reports- I haven’t in primary. I’ve shared nice feedback and said I was proud but also have to be slightly careful as some teachers are more effusive than others. 2 years ago, my of my daughters had the most lovely reception teacher while my other one had a slightly more laid back, less positive one. I couldn’t have compared the two without being really unfair.

For outside things like music or dance exams, I tend to celebrate on the day for the effort.

School reports is a stressful experience here.
they get graded from 1-4 (1 being terrible, 4 being outstanding) on about 100 different factors across the various subjects, as well as current grades and forecasted grades.

DD2 gets about 95%+ 4s with a few 3s. Which is absolutely brilliant. We are extremely pleased with it... the 3s are usually for disorganisation but we are pretty sure she has ADHD like me. She tries so hard.

But DD1 has recieved all 4s on the last two reports... and we know she has again because despite not getting the report yet, she has been invited to the party for those who have got that.

So a consequence of this, DD2 is getting the message from school she isn't as good as her sister, who has also recieved other awards. DD1 now doesn't like getting awards as it upsets her sister... although DD2 always congratulates DD1.

I focus heavily on the effort

I tell them i am really proud of them, with a focus on

• how hard they worked
• behaviour eg comments about them being kind, thoughtful, considerate, respectful
• enthusiasm/perseverance at things they find harder
• general classroom attitude

I also reward myself when I get a good end of year report at work 🤣

Yes I did. I wanted them to know that I was proud and that I recognised their achievement. But I come from a home who ignored/didn't even notice my academic achievements.

Ditto

What does that mean?

They get to pick lunch if they get straight A's for effort (still in primary school). Effort is the only thing they can control.

sprigghr.com/blog/hr-professionals/extrinsic-intrinsic-motivation-examples-whats-the-difference/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/differences-between-extrinsic-and-intrinsic-motivation.html

https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/extrinsic-intrinsic-motivation

We took our dc out to a steak house for doing well in their school reports. When I say well, yes academically, but also for good and positive behaviour etc.

Rewarding a child with money, or food, or a toy whatever doesn’t replace the overall reward of success. I grew up with parents who rewarded me tangibly for achievements (they still do!) but that wasn’t what motivated me, I liked it and felt supported, but ultimately when I was doing homework or revising I wasn’t thinking about the potential thing I could get, I was focussed on success, on how that would feel. Tbh as lovely as the gifts were over the years they weren’t huge enough to be the only motivating factor! When I ran home to tell them my results it was their reaction I was excited for, their pride. And I can tell that’s the same with my children. I don’t see why it needs to be either/or, I don’t even mention it throughout the year, it’s not like I say start of the year do X and I will give you Y, it’s just a token of well done after all the effort (and yes another who focusses on effort not grade).