Im not sure what to think?

[sellthebigissue]

Not sure what to think of this comment..

Bit of back story. Ive had a baby every year for the last 3 years. Im currently 22 weeks pregnant. When I fell pregnant with our first in 2022 I was a healthy 80kg, attended the gym regular, ate well, walked alot, you get the gist.

3 years down the line, pregnancy has taken its toll. Im around 93kgs, veen extremely poorly over the last few years during pregnancy. Admitted to hospital more times then I can count. Suffered sever Hyperemesis Gravidarum, im severely anaemic with a ferritin of 7. Awaiting an infusion. Just you know, alot. I have been feeling insecure about a number of things, body changes ect and my DH is especially attractive. Very authentic, loves the gym etc. So I feel im constantly comparing myself to other women.

He this evening has said to me.. and I quote...
"I wish you walk more. You've lost definition in your bum. I used to love your bum and now i just like it"
(I can barely breathe lying down never mind walking to get a better bum).
This is followed by a comment from this morning where he was winding me up with a pair of the babies socks. When I was trying ti get them. He kept dropping them on the floor. So I just huffed but I wasnt mardy or angry, just more like hurry up ive got an appointment and he said
"You'll know when I dont love you anymore, ill stop winding you up. Either I dont love you or something else is going on with someone else"

And im honestly hurt by these comments more so because hes NEVER ever said anything like this and i dont know how to take it or if im just being a hormonal mess.

Please can I have an outsider perspective, men and women. Not arsed if its harsh truth. Thanks.

He's an arse and he's not showing you any respect.

He's a dick. Not acceptable.

He is an utter twat

No that’s not acceptable. Is he a good husband in general? Some men are not awful people but speak without thinking and/or are thoughtless or just stupid. Are you happy generally?

If you’re in a usually good marriage and you’re both happy I would sit him down and explain how it made you feel - tell him everything you’ve written in here. How he reacts will tell you lots.

He’s a dick! Why keep having babies with him?!

Why he is being so horrible to you? Because he is. He is being totally horrible and playing on your fears. Which ironically makes him the most unattractive man on the planet, no matter how many times he goes to the gym... you can't exercise your way to a nice personality.

Sounds like a twat.

What do you mean by 'authentic'?

Typo for athletic I think...

In the kindest way op you need to stop having babies with this awful man.

I’m assuming given you have choosn to have four children with this man that generally he is unusually loving, kind and helpful? If so, I’d assume he’s having a brain fart day and you may want to mention how it made you feel later when less emotional about it. If not, well then I’m not sure why you have continued to have babies with him.

Especially when it's making you so ill. This isn't benefiting you or your current children.

He’s a manipulative bellend and he’s negging you. Has this only just started?

I mean I'll hazard a guess that he's always been a shallow twat so why hasn't it bothered you before...?
Anyways, I couldn't have sex with such a specimen but clearly you're ok with it as your numerous pregnancies show. Doesn't sound like its doing your health or body any good though so you might want to think about that.

Thanks for the comments so far.

Yes its a typo for athletic.

As my post states. Its the first time hes ever commented on my physical appearance in what i believe, is a negative light, so its taken me back a bit. He just randomly said it whilst i was settling the baby to sleep. I took myself away to be sad for a moment because I know hed say "im just being honest" if he knew he'd hurt my feelings.
The relationship hasn't always been rosy, no one is perfect and I do often think he speaks without thinking but I guess its hurt my feeling because its not like ive willingly let myself go. Ive bought beautiful life into the world. He always says he never looks at anyone else other than me but I feel thats not true for him to have a negative feeling towards my appearance.

I dont know what to think. I just know its not a very nice thing to say as there's not much I can do atm due to growing my baby and pregnancy related health issues. Im hoping to get some weight loss injections after this baby.

Nvm that, why are you pregnant for the fourth time in three years when you've been so ill due to it?
What kind of madness is this?

Yes, he made these comments today but ive noted over the last couple of weeks a subtle change in mannerism toward me.

Sorry its 3rd baby. 22 weeks with third baby. Evidently didnt make that understandable. But honestly, it was choice. I always wanted my babies close together although my current pregnancy was not planned. It is what it is. Its only recently ive noted a subtle change. Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore as a whole. Maybe someone else has turned his head however he always said he never pervs at other women. Maybe im naive.

He's a dick. And it's madness being pregnant non-stop when you have got health issues! But a bit too late for that I suppose. Ofcourse pregnancy takes it's toll. It took me a year to get back to where I was before physically and you haven't given your body a chance to recover for 4 years! Were they planned?

He sounds awful.

I'm finding this very difficult on many levels. Don't you like your babies? You keep popping then out, unable to enjoy any of them because you are so poorly each pregnancy and now you'll have 4 under 4 with a man who's a bit of a knob. I think you need therapy and contraception.

I have always thought so but now im questioning my life choices.
He does often speak without thinking but hes never said anything like this to me before hence why im a bit upset about it.

She's already 22 weeks pregnant, what do you want her to do? Cancel her subscription?

He is a prick

I dont think ive made it very clear. This is my 3rd pregnancy. 22 weeks with 3rd. Yes the first two were planned. Cirrent pregnancy wasnt as i was so ill with my second I didnt want any more however here I am.

Why would someone need to tell you that they 'never perve at other women' - it's ridiculous. People who say this are usually protesting too much. I am not saying he's tried it on with anyone, there is no proof of that, but increased conversation about your body parts and potentially not fancying you in the future is horrible OP, it really is. He should be admiring your amazing body for being able to bring three lives into this world, not putting you down. I would be more than a bit upset and I would sit him down and tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. Also you've been really ill recently - does he think this kind of stress is helpful to you or to the baby? Sorry I am deeply unimpressed by him.