To ask how would you feel if your do was going on a weeks holiday with their family?

[Loveduppenguin]

Just as the question says. Partner going on a holiday with their parents and brother (just the 4 of them) no partners. Parents are paying for the flights and accommodation. Your partner will just have to pay for food and entertainment etc.
you are not being left with dc or anything.

Why would you be hurt that his parents want to spend time with their adult children?

I genuinely don’t understand this train of thought at all - I regularly have weekends away with my mum
or go and do something with my dad. They’re still my parents and we still have a separate relationship even though I’m married.

No DC to look after then I wouldn't care really. I'd enough the time on my own lol.
My family do an annual trip but partners are invited since we have both been married.
DH went to South Africa for 10 days for a grandparents milestone birthday and I stayed home with the kids. I didn't really mind. I was a bit miffed at 10 days of looking after the kids on my own day and night (although youngest had just started school) and as youngest was only 6 months but we coped and I get a present I really wanted when he got back.

quite different from your situation but I make a point of DH, SKs, in-laws, to have a few days like this every year (can’t afford a week or 2 unfortunately) I think it’s really important for my in-laws especially to get that time without me there changing the dynamic. They all go up to the coast & make memories. MIL is a bit strange about any perceived threat to the matriarchy & holidays / Christmas / events where she’s had to ‘share’ have sent her a bit feral & I called her after one rather taxing mini break & asked her straight if me being there was the cause of the moods, that I didn’t take it personally but needed to figure out how we can do this moving forward. Because her insisting I come then sulking the whole while is not relaxing. She was so surprised I think, that she was honest & admitted that where she lives quite a distance she feels left behind & just wants quality time with her GCs (my SKs) and felt like they are closer to me than her. I love the time to myself. LOVE IT. I was gutted in lockdown year when it had to be missed, I’d come to depend on those few days to myself.

It’s set a trend, all of her kids now do the same (both those with and without kids) shorter breaks without partners & it’s improved her relationships with her son in laws & daughter in laws. We can’t be offended by her behaviour if we aren’t there to see it.

It is lovely they have the opportunity. Time with our parents and siblings can be so limited in adulthood

I think I'd be relieved.

I'd be overjoyed that I didn't have to join my in-laws on holiday, I'd actively encourage him to go!

We’ve done this. It’s lovely. I used to go away with DDad and DBro every year, just the three of us, for long weekends. DH was fine doing the DC on his own - and I always came home to him having been healthily reminded of how much I do! DDad is too old now, and health problems mean it’s hard to spend quality time with him, so I’m really, really glad we did those weekends away while we could.

DH has also been away with PIL a few times. They do loads of grandchild care (not for us, we’re too far away sadly) so it’s great for them to get time with DH and his siblings without the chaos and distraction of all the kids. Spouses are all 100% fine with this and see it as an important and valuable thing. We also do whole extended family holidays, so it’s not like we’re left out!

I think time spent in smaller family configs and one-to-ones are special. Individual relationships can be nurtured and quiet voices heard. I went away with just Dd when she was 11; DH did the same with ds. DH and I are going away with DBro and SIL next year, kids staying with a friend. PIL sometimes take a single GC away. As the dc have grown up with different family members going off on trips with different people, they see it as normal and healthy.

Seeing as your dp is fine with it and it’s just your friend who isn’t I wouldn’t give it that much thought.

Yes I completely agree with your last paragraph. We’ve always been sure to prioritise time with each other 1:1 as well as big get togethers. Last year we went abroad for a family wedding (ILs), my SIL’s husband couldn’t attend so I spent a lot of time with her on my own (DH doing stuff with groom) and despite knowing her for 20+ years I got to know her more in those few days than in those decades! Opposite situation in that it’s with in laws, but shows just how time is spent differently when partners aren’t around.

My thoughts exactly. I'd be absolutely delighted not to be expected to go to any of DH's family events.

Wouldn’t bother me and we have a child.
I tell him to try and arrange a holiday with his dad as they both like doing long walks, he’s yet to arrange it!

Oh come on. So just because I grew up and got married, I wasn’t supposed to spend time alone ever again with my dad, who I adored? When he was alive, I’d often go to visit him for a long weekend on my own, mainly so we could trawl antiques shops which we both enjoyed, without the children trying to grab things.

I would be so sad if I never spent time alone with my children. My eldest is 23. I really like him as a person, he still lives at home, but we go to the cinema together often, or out for a meal without the younger children (I do things one on one with all 3 as I have big age gaps).

I’d be sad if that stopped. Dh does things with both his parents alone, will pop in and have a cup of tea with his mum on the way home from work or shopping.

Visiting your parents or going away with them doesn’t always have to include your partner or children. It’s nice to be able to have some private time.

I am envious of all the posters who do this. I would love to have the kind of relationship with my dad where he wanted to do anything with me - even just a meal. He tolerates me to see the GC but doesn’t like me/want to see me on my own.
I say nurture these times and have a fabulous time away with just your sibling and parent! It’s a shame that it is seen as weird by some that you are doing this.