To ask how would you feel if your do was going on a weeks holiday with their family?

[Loveduppenguin]

Just as the question says. Partner going on a holiday with their parents and brother (just the 4 of them) no partners. Parents are paying for the flights and accommodation. Your partner will just have to pay for food and entertainment etc.
you are not being left with dc or anything.

Why would young kids make a difference?

I have children. My husband and his sister are going away for 4/5 days with their parents in a few months, I suggested it.

My children make zero difference to what’s happening.

Just enjoy! I do this annually with my mum. My DH is fine with it as he's doing similar.

Sounds lovely. I’ve been away with my parents and siblings without my dh.

My parents, sister and I all go away together once a year. We take all our dogs but no children (they stay with their dads) or husbands invited. It's absolutely lovely - just two week of dog walking, good food, no child (or husband) dramatics.

Bliss.

It would just require more of a discuss ion and depend on circumstances- age of kids/support etc, I wouldn’t automatically be fine with it. For some people it’s no issue and for some it’s more difficult.

Because when you go away with children, everything centres around them. It’s hard to properly relax, you have to think about them constantly.

Going away as a group of adults is far more relaxing without the responsibility of keeping children safe all the time.

Not everything in life has to revolve around the children. It’s one week.

I’d tell them to have a lovely time and enjoy the peace and quiet 😂

Oh some people are weird about that stuff. And some people who are weird about that stuff are weird about people who aren't weird about that stuff.

DP and I often go away individually, we can, so why wouldn't we?

This ^
Also on condition that it doesn’t affect any major events like my birthday/partner’s birthday/, Christmas/Easter etc etc

Why is it weird to want to spend time with your parents and siblings without having to deal with small children?

I'd be a bit hurt that his family didn't want me to go too, I think. (But then I've never had experience of happy nuclear families so I don't really know how they work!)

Because of the shared responsibility of childcare? If I wanted to go away for a week, my husband would need time off work to be home for the children. Doesn't mean parents can't take holidays, but it's a lot less complicated without needing to make childcare arrangements.

Surely you understand the dynamics change depending on who’s around? My brother can’t go anywhere without his wife and it’s not that we don’t like her, we really do, but sometimes time spent with someone is different on their own. Daughters seem to be allowed that courtesy, no one bats an eyelid if a daughter spends time with her parents on her own, but with sons you’re supposed to want their wife there all the time too.

I think in my 20s I would have been more likely to be the one asking to go away with my parents, but if my now husband had asked I would have certainly been fine with it, but it would have crossed my mind it was going to leave me with let's say 5 more days of annual leave than him and what would I do with that. I was very much a every single day of annual leave had to be spent abroad type. Now I'd still say yes, but there is definitely more juggling to be done when after school activities and school runs are normally split across 2 people and one person has to suddenly do everything.

I get that it can be more complicated. But I would take time off for my husband to go away with his family. It’s important, you don’t have them forever. He has done the same for me (although different as children are school age, so it just means working from home in the afternoon/finishing a bit earlier).

You see often on here though people objecting to weekends away, when no time off is involved. I have a couple of friends who will not allow their husbands to do anything that takes them away from the family, even when it’s at the weekend, even when they children aren’t tiny anymore.

It seems even more prominent when men want to do something with their parents or wider families alone. Like it’s some sort of awful, personal vendetta against their partner instead of just wanting to spend time with someone they love. Dh takes MIL for a night away around their birthdays (2 days apart) as they share the same interest. I think it’s lovely. I’d love it if me and my son had that relationship one day.

I get that we are all different, but I couldn’t live being constrained like that.

Yeah my ex won’t have to take A/L he can do drop offs etc. and tbh if needed my dp would help out. Though I don’t have that expectation, we do live together yes.

My DH sees his family all the time without me, they are very close, I have never had an issue with it. We do spend time together as well! I’m not close to mine at all so I think it’s lovely.

I'd be fine with that. I often go away with my parents without DH, and I wouldn't object to him doing the same. I'd look forward to having the house to myself!!

Me too!

More information needed:

how long have you been together, if a new relationship not that strange however if you have been together for more than a few years and are an established couple then somewhat strange

have they always done this or is this a new event

have you met the family previously, how did that go

how did your partner tell you

I would not be happy, it is quite unusual to be recreating family holidays when the children are adults and have moved into adults relationships. If partners were invited it would be a lovely idea seems a little odd to exclude partners.

That sounds really nice.

You know those threads about difficult in laws…they about people like you…

What on earth is “odd” about parents wanting to spend quality time with their adult children? 🙄

My sister and I go on holiday with my mum once a year now she's on her own. DH doesn't mind at all. Our kids are grown up and he's more than capable of looking after himself for a week.
He wasn't excluded anyway. He actually could join us if he wanted to but he has other things to do in the summer.

My partner hates it. We don't live together, but I go away regularly with my kids and family and we have a great time. I miss him but partners would change the dynamic.

If the situation was flipped, I'd be happy for him to go!