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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how would you feel if your do was going on a weeks holiday with their family?

113 replies

Loveduppenguin · 18/11/2025 19:58

Just as the question says. Partner going on a holiday with their parents and brother (just the 4 of them) no partners. Parents are paying for the flights and accommodation. Your partner will just have to pay for food and entertainment etc.
you are not being left with dc or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:03

DaisyChain505 · 19/11/2025 07:00

If my partners siblings had partners going I’d be feeling a certain way but I don’t see what’s to get upset about if it’s literally parents and siblings.

You’re not being victimised or purposely left out.

No, no partners just the nuclear family as such.

OP posts:
firstofallimadelight · 19/11/2025 07:03

No young kids and not impacting on having a family/couple holiday. I’d be fine with it.

GreyCarpet · 19/11/2025 07:03

I wouldn't have any issues with it and neither would my partner.

Why does your friend think it's unfair? Is it the thought of the partner missing out on a holiday or the thought that couples should do everything together?

Giraffemug30 · 19/11/2025 07:09

Personally I would be greatful I didn't have to spend a week with the in laws and looking forward to an empty house for the week

Plus I think it's good for DH to have time with his parents without me

I do a weeks holiday with my family each year without DH, snd Dh does one with his parents, we aren't glued at the hip. We are invited to the respective holidays though but both have limited annual leave so chose to do it this way

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:11

firstofallimadelight · 19/11/2025 07:03

No young kids and not impacting on having a family/couple holiday. I’d be fine with it.

Well I do have dc (age 10 and 12)but they will go to their dads(we are separated) and my db has dc but they are teens.

OP posts:
TastelessMiserySand · 19/11/2025 07:12

I think it's lovely and have very recently encouraged my DH to do something similar with his folks and SIL.
I don't have siblings myself, but I think it is a rare treat for their 'original' family to have time together, without the change in the dynamic that comes from having partners and DC around every time. Parents won't be around forever so if you can carve out some special time then go for it.
It should work both ways though - if partners later want a holiday, then they're also entitled to the time.

Walkerzoo · 19/11/2025 07:19

I would be delighted. House to myself and not having to spend time with the in-laws. I would suggest they go away for longer

Shedmistress · 19/11/2025 07:22

It's a great suggestion, I might make it. They could go to the USA where his brother is. That's a 10 day minimum break. Get in.

I was due to go with my mum and brother back to Canada for 10 days in 2020 but Covid put a stop to it. My OH never raised an eyebrow.

Iocanepowder · 19/11/2025 07:23

Go for it op! Before kids (who are still a lot younger than yours) my DH still used to go on holiday separately as well as together.

EleanorReally · 19/11/2025 07:26

as you have dc i think it is strange of your parents to organise this

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 19/11/2025 07:29

It’s fine but a little strange as you both have kids.

Dearg · 19/11/2025 07:29

Enjoy it Op. my DH and I used to do this or similar every couple of years, mostly because I could not bear to be with MIL for long periods. Sil ( DH Brothers wife) felt the same.

i think it’s quite healthy to have some time apart; you friend , or her husband, are unreasonable here.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:31

EleanorReally · 19/11/2025 07:26

as you have dc i think it is strange of your parents to organise this

They did ask us before they booked, it wasn’t a surprise.

OP posts:
BruisedNeckMeat · 19/11/2025 07:32

I think it’s a lovely thing to do! I would love to go away with my mum and just my siblings. We could pretend to be kids again!

Ignore the friend and have a fab time.

GetOverTheEgo · 19/11/2025 07:32

We do this reasonably often. DH's cousins live abroad and he goes on holiday with them as they meet up in Europe about every second year. My parents and sister live in Australia and I go almost annually to see them and we go away.

We also see each other's families as well, but it's not unusual to have a blood-family get together. I've never thought that much about it tbh.

PigletJohn · 19/11/2025 07:36

@Loveduppenguin

"you are not being left with dc or anything"

I don't understand that.

RocknRollBand · 19/11/2025 07:36

Before you said you both had children I thought it sounded lovely. I’d like to do that with my parents and sibling. But having quite young children has changed my opinion.

I wouldn’t go and do something pleasurable for a w eek with the family of my children and not take them because I wouldn’t want to.

PuppyMonkey · 19/11/2025 07:37

You fell asleep after starting a MN thread? Shock

How do your kids feel about you going off on the holiday?

sisagdhihh · 19/11/2025 07:38

I’ve left DH with our kids before to go on holiday with my family (no partners) it was a one off for a milestone birthday for my mum, we’ve not been together just us in decades, it was really special for her. Would absolutely support DH doing the same.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:39

PigletJohn · 19/11/2025 07:36

@Loveduppenguin

"you are not being left with dc or anything"

I don't understand that.

Meaning from my dp’s perspective, he is not being left with dc for the week. My dc are going to their dads.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:40

sisagdhihh · 19/11/2025 07:38

I’ve left DH with our kids before to go on holiday with my family (no partners) it was a one off for a milestone birthday for my mum, we’ve not been together just us in decades, it was really special for her. Would absolutely support DH doing the same.

To be honest my ex wouldn’t have minded either.

OP posts:
GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 19/11/2025 07:41

Your friend is the weird one here!
I would have no problem with this and neither would my DH, no one in our family would.

Ibizaonmymind · 19/11/2025 07:43

It’s fine, I wouldn’t have an issue with it. If it was regular and might be the only holiday he takes that would be an issue though.

I guess it might depend on the relationships involved though, does everyone get on well usually or are difficulties?

zurigo · 19/11/2025 07:49

I think it's a bit odd tbh, now that you've explained that you have DC. Why don't they want their GC there? Most GPs would love to spend a week with their DC and their GC. As for your DP, it depends how long you've been together. If it's a serious relationship and you live together then yes, it's weird, if it's not, then IMO it's fine.

sisagdhihh · 19/11/2025 07:51

zurigo · 19/11/2025 07:49

I think it's a bit odd tbh, now that you've explained that you have DC. Why don't they want their GC there? Most GPs would love to spend a week with their DC and their GC. As for your DP, it depends how long you've been together. If it's a serious relationship and you live together then yes, it's weird, if it's not, then IMO it's fine.

An adult holiday is very different to a holiday with kids. And parents have relationships with adult children, having a partner always there changes the dynamic. It sounds like it’s a one off. I honestly find it so more weird that people are obsessed with kids being there 24/7, they have other carers, they’re not being neglected.