To put education above owning a house (possibly ever)?

[Wtfdoidoplease]

Name changed due to financial info.
My husband and I live in London and have a disabled daughter. We have always rented and have a pretty secure tenancy. Our daughter is due to start reception next year.

We are surrounded by mainstream schools with extra funding for SEN, one within a 15 minute walk. Ten minutes walk away is a specialist school if that doesn’t work out. Ten minutes’ drive away is another school that is renowned nationally for specialising in that disability. The mainstream 15 mins away seems perfect and it is likely she will get a place thanks to EHCP which is in progress.

The issue is we are priced out from ever owning a place here. We were going to move out of the city to be closer to family but then Liz Truss happened, and then I became pregnant very quickly after starting trying so we stayed. Now we don’t know what to do.

We can’t afford to buy a place here that meets her needs. We earn about £100k between us split equally, with him working full time and me working three days. We have about £50k in savings not counting the £7k for our daughter saved from her benefits and earmarked for her needs. I have a relative who has said he will give us £10k if we buy a house, and a possible inheritance of anything up to about £50k coming but I am not relying on it. I could increase my earnings or apply for a big job, but that would likely be in London.

The place we were going to move to has a SEND crisis, as so many other places do. There is no way the schools are going to be as good at supporting our daughter as the ones here. But staying here means possibly never being able to buy and we are not getting any younger.

AIBU to think to stay because of the schools, even if that means renting forever? Just want to do right by her as much as I can.

Renting can be fine especially with the new protections for renters coming in, it is even better than owning in some ways. And if you find a school that can supports your child then that is priceless. But it doesn't need to be forever, you might find that as she grows her needs change or there is a better place for her elsewhere.

I agree that the right school for your child is priceless. If your tenancy is fairly secure, I'd probably stay put, but look to moving up the career ladder and setting aside as much as possible in savings so you might be able to buy later on if circumstances change.

Would you consider buying ex-council? A family member has a spacious 3 bed in a low rise, brick-built ex-council place in central London with a small balcony, nice inner courtyard outside space (like a college quad). It cost about £420k. If places like that exist near you they might be affordable on your income.

I'd stay. I'd be surprised if you could get a three bed flat for 420k in central London though, ex council or not.

Would shared ownership be an option? Then you could sell and move to a cheaper area once your daughter finishes school to buy somewhere outright (if you wanted to).

From reading stories on Mumsnet, if your kid isn't likely to manage a mainstream school with funding support from her EHCP, I'd stick. From reading things on here, school places that really meet disabled kid's needs are rarer than rocking horse shit!

There's no end to renting, unlike getting a mortgage. Do you really want to spend decades helping someone else pay their mortgage for an asset that's likely appreciating in value?

Shared Ownership is a rip off.

I would keep saving for a bigger deposit. The housing market isn't likely to improve for a long time.

Could you look at buying an investment / rental property in the area near your family you could rent out to cover the mortgage and continue to rent in your current area? Move out when she’s older.

The London landscape for schools, especially SEN is so much better. I work in an outstanding special school in London, and we moved out of London about 4 years ago into Buckinghamshire. Therapy services are also much better. My daughters (no SEN) attend a mainstream school with an ARP which is very close to going bankrupt due to rubbish SEN funding in Bucks. Not sure where you were thinking of moving to, but I would suggest avoiding Buckinghamshire.

I’d buy a place outside of London and long term rent that out (possibly even in a trust in your daughters name) so that you’ve got some security for her/you in old age

Just be aware that if your daughter needs a specialist place that isn’t enough to get one. Special schools are full In my area (covering a number of local authorities). People with non-verbal severely disabled kids are having to go to tribunal to secure any sort of place at all (not just a place in their preferred special school). And even then there are issues with the schools being completely physically full (not just at pan numbers)

So at this stage staying put sounds sensible. But if you think specialist education may be needed just a warning to go for that sooner rather than later as proximity doesn’t always come into entry decision making then

I would stay OP. We made a similar decision. We’re in Kent which has horrendous SEN support but spent 3 years battling for DS to get into specialist. Now he has, we will stay in Kent and continue to rent. Originally we were planning a move into Wales or further north but that won’t be possible now as I can’t do the fight for specialist again. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

I like the advice you have been given suggestion you buy a property in a different area and rent it out, so you have somewhere when you are older. If you have an EHCP in your current borough and good SEN provision...that is worth a lot.

My son is in a specialist school and we sometimes look around for houses with an annexe as we feel that a small annexe property may suit his level of need in adulthood (he is only 10 though so we can't be sure). We live on a county border and the other county is notoriously terrible for SEND and we feel our county has been a good SEND experience so we don't realistically think we would move to a different place until he ages out of the EHCP.

Bear in mind you may not get the SEN school you think is "the one"
...... we felt we knew which school was right for our child...we were wrong. Many said they were full or couldn't meet need. Where he is now is amazing and is definitely the one for.him, I'd never even heard of it (!)

it is likely she will get a place thanks to EHCP which is in progress.

Be careful what LA case workers tell you will happen-they spent months telling a parent of a preschooler in our catchment that they'd definitely get a very high level of funding and very likely they'd get a place at special, yet here we are with a very minimal level of funding, they are coming to us in mainstream and the case worker has now disappeared!

Things change- the plans I made in my head when my eldest was about to start reception have all evolved to be completely different. I would 100% stay renting for now in your scenario and reassess regularly. I don’t think renting now will necessarily mean you won’t own in the future.
Navigating securing local SEN schools is tricky in most areas -if it’s looking straightforward where you are definitely stay put.

I’d stay where you are until you’ve got her settled in a school that works - then look at trying to buy a flat.

Will you be able to increase your hours when she’s at school?

On £100k joint income you should be able to get something with two beds - and easier again not worrying about primary catchment. Not as nice as you could probably get outside London, but if the education is most important it’s doable.

It might help OP to say where you are now and where you are thinking of moving. People can then give you feedback on the areas.

If there’s a school (or two) that’s actually suitable for- stay put.

A lot can change over the decades. You may find her needs change and she needs provision offered a long way away - in which case owning a house will be a block not a benefit. You might get raises. The property market may crash.

if where you are meets your needs and it’s not a hand to mouth existence — I’d stay there.

I think in this situation you need to think short, medium and long term.

Short term you need to be all over that EHCP and suitable reception place. I will post a link to the support thread in a moment so experienced posters can help you avoid the LA fobbing you off.

Medium term the question of a suitable secondary will come up. With tribunal waits what they are, you'll need to think about that by year 4.

London does have much more choice of schools, more SEND experience and support, higher funding (not enough of course), better job opportunities, better public transport.

Long term I think you need investments that will allow to to pay a deposit on somewhere to live in later life. Buy to let is risky now because of the increasing difficulty of getting the tenant out if they are dodgy or do damage (I am a buy to let landlady for similar reasons).

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5309128-ehcp-support-thread-no-5?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

YANBU to prioritise education and help for your DC. i would investigate the odds of getting that in the places you have the option to live and choose the place with better access to services.

I wouldn’t assume that you’ll get a place with an ECHP. Supply of these places and services is insufficient. Some areas are worse than others. A friend is having a terrible time with this, in Surrey.

London does at least have the SEND children of various MPs living in it...

Also are you aware if you get the EHCP then move, the new LA can essentially ignore it?

If she gets into the school could you afford to buy further out and commute back in? I’d choose that if possible. There are lots of places to live but schools are a bit of a lottery really. It can be good by name but your child might still not have a good experience. Or they might.

*move out of the LA area

I’d put education over home ownership. In fact I have done, remaining in the South East after split from ex until DC finish education - been a long 15yrs but June is the finish line when my youngest leaves 6th form and I am relocating and buying a house age 49.