To put education above owning a house (possibly ever)?

[Wtfdoidoplease]

Name changed due to financial info.
My husband and I live in London and have a disabled daughter. We have always rented and have a pretty secure tenancy. Our daughter is due to start reception next year.

We are surrounded by mainstream schools with extra funding for SEN, one within a 15 minute walk. Ten minutes walk away is a specialist school if that doesn’t work out. Ten minutes’ drive away is another school that is renowned nationally for specialising in that disability. The mainstream 15 mins away seems perfect and it is likely she will get a place thanks to EHCP which is in progress.

The issue is we are priced out from ever owning a place here. We were going to move out of the city to be closer to family but then Liz Truss happened, and then I became pregnant very quickly after starting trying so we stayed. Now we don’t know what to do.

We can’t afford to buy a place here that meets her needs. We earn about £100k between us split equally, with him working full time and me working three days. We have about £50k in savings not counting the £7k for our daughter saved from her benefits and earmarked for her needs. I have a relative who has said he will give us £10k if we buy a house, and a possible inheritance of anything up to about £50k coming but I am not relying on it. I could increase my earnings or apply for a big job, but that would likely be in London.

The place we were going to move to has a SEND crisis, as so many other places do. There is no way the schools are going to be as good at supporting our daughter as the ones here. But staying here means possibly never being able to buy and we are not getting any younger.

AIBU to think to stay because of the schools, even if that means renting forever? Just want to do right by her as much as I can.

Personally I'd stay put and get the best school provision that you can. Things can and do change so don't look too far into the future.
Sorry you're in this difficult position, like so many families.

Stay put. Things can change. Once dd has a place in secondary you can move; maybe by late primary your dh will drop to part time and you can be full time (your earning potential is higher, right?). Unless you plan on a second child, in which case your financial situation may not improve….

It's worth also thinking about whether you may be forced to drop your hours at work or completely leave your job in order to look after your daughter and also consider your own support network and how independent she will be able to be in your current local community as she gets older.
Being part of a community is really, really important if you have a disabled child
Ideally a mixed one with lots of different people with varying levels of connection, e.g. Neighbours, close family and friends and social aquaintences and other send families with similar aged kids. If you move now, you can build a community in time before she/you need it but it will be harder if you move later on.

If she will need a send school then she will be able to access school transport if you can't drive her to school until she is 16.
Also worth knowing that school holiday clubs stop at secondary school age and then you have to sort your own private holiday childcare out.

Any voids or a tenant that doesn’t pay and it would be a huge issue. You take financial risks when you have children that have a good margin for loss I don’t think there is much room at all for a BTL. It’s about the worst time ever to become a landlord.

You can take out insurance that will mitigate voids and legal fees, but in general I agree that it’s not a good time to be a landlord.

I think that this is good advice.

Personally, I would stay put because adequate SEND/ALN provision is very important and not a given. In our case, we had to spend a small fortune to force the LA to provide what meagre help it can.

I would use the energy and headspace freed up from having to constantly fight for SEND provision to get my financial planning in order. Set up a budget that can help you meet your long term home-ownership goals and stick to it.

Good luck!

Jesus!

The "new protections"are nothing of the sort. They arenonly going to make renters lives more difficult and expensive. Don't rely on this nonsense OP.

The Renters Rights Bill means that renting isn't a viable long term solution for you. Rentals will become more difficult to find and the prices are going to explode. Double what you are paying now is a realistic outcome. You need to buy ASAP, renting isn't secure anymore.

Landlords can only charge the market rate, but maybe OP already is. Renting is still a precarious experience, so better to buy now or in the near future whilst the market is so bad (from a seller’s perspective),

Are you renting from the council or privately? If privately it’s not worth the possibility of eviction at any moment. Think of all the money blown on rent every month
You can tutor your kids at home for free

Property prices are unlikely to rise in London for a good few years so I would stay out for now.

Could you buy a buy to let in a cheaper area so you are on the ladder while renting in London?
i would do that if rent covers capital as a minimum.

i would definitely prioritise education.

i know i know people hate landlords especially on here, but dont let that pressure you. In this instance, you would clever and right to do that.

if you need to sell in years to come, you would need to move back in for at least 6 months to reduce the CGT. So choose the area carefully, somewhere where prr haps you would like to retire too and could
gift to your daughter later.

I can’t comment about school provision. However, while you obviously want the best for your DD, you also need to think about yourself. If you can at all help it, you really don’t want to be renting in your retirement.

Thanks everyone for your educative and insightful comments. I feel so sad that so many of you have had to fight so hard for your children to get the education they are entitled to.

I am not keen on the idea of being a landlord, sort of for moral reasons. But for her sake I will not write it off completely.

I agree with the person who said community is important. We would have more of a community if we move to be near family but at what price? Also being near family won’t mean any help with care really, as people have their own dependents. And being so close to in laws can come with problems, too. We are not horribly lacking in community in London, either, it’s just different. Services here have been exceptional.

In answer to the people saying don’t take for granted that you’ll get the school you want - of course not, but I have spoken to the school and they sound very positive about her prospects there. We may even squeak in based on catchment distance before we get the EHCP. If it doesn’t work out, we have lots of options here.

Almost everyone is united in saying we should prioritise education and as SEND parents further along the line than us, I really respect your opinions and insights. I feel huge stigma at not having been able to buy a house despite working very hard and huge sadness: but my daughter doesn’t care, and her happiness is so much more important.

The other thing to think about is jobs. If I were to start applying for “big jobs” in my industry those would be in London. We could commute I suppose but then there’s the added transport costs to factor in and a longer day for DD. At the moment we both walk to work when in the office.

My mum rents in her retirement, and while in some ways it is not ideal she is very happy nonetheless. I would rather own it if I can of course.

Very good point. Were we to move to a borough that is unable to meet her needs, it would be me giving up my job and career.

Agree, and the very real risk you are running with inadequate SEND provision is your child ends up out of school for an extended period and a parent (usually the mum) loses their job.

I didn't necessarily mean due to her not being able to be in school. Finding care around school hours can be extremely difficult and my kids currently have to attend weekly apointments which take place in school hours and need me to collect them and take them vack to school.

A school place is priceless in the SEN world. My DGS has been out of school for over a year because my DiL moved for her job but no SEN place is available where she is now. It’s heartbreaking. Luckily her employer is understanding and allows her to take him to work with her but it’s not ideal and I have to go up to help when she can’t take him with her and my son’s shifts are not conducive to helping.

I'm definitely going to be outnumbered here but I'd take a different view.

I have a child with SEN and an EHCP. She had reasonably support at Primary level. Secondary education and the pressure of GCSEs became all too much pressure. No amount of support would have helped really although more could have been done if the system was better. She was in mainstream. We're hoping that at some point she will pass her maths and English but anything more than that is extremely unlikely.

She is unlikely to have a well paid career although hopefully she will have a job in the future that brings her satisfaction.

For her and us, the security of an owned home is of greater importance. A home for her to live in now and hopefully inherited capital much further down the line.

Being blunt - with all the support in the world a string of great qualifications and a glittering career is not going to happen. Priorising her education and keeping renting wouldn't have increased her qualifications/career potential but would have foregone a fully paid for home.

Only you know your child's potential but don't underestimate how challenging GCSEs are and the impact of Secondary School pressure is on neurodiverse children with SEN. Take a long term view too and consider adult needs as well a young child needs. The SEN is always there whatever the age.

It is not free to tutor your kids at home, there is an opportunity cost (in thase case the earnings of one adult until child reaches 16 at leat). Also, this is not in the best interest of every child. Home ed is great for some kids, but does not meet the needs of other children. Also, if EHE, then the state has no obligation to fund anything to do with your child's education - including taking exams, which costs a lot of money outside the state system.

Your comment is ill-informed.

I'm at the other end of your journey - three children with SEND there are almost at the end of their education. I've sacrificed my career and my pension to give them what they needed and possibly looking at quite a bleak retirement! My children's needs are "relatively" minor, although all three have EHCPs and two were unable to access mainstream secondary schools.

I think it depends upon your daughter's issues probably. We looked into moving very seriously when we got the third his EHCP but the area we wanted to move to had absolutely no provision for him either state or private. The support he received in his secondary school was absolutely the making of him.

I'm not really sure what I'm saying except that as parents of children with SEND you're dammed if you do and dammed if you don't quite honestly!

I meant for a parent to tutor their child their self, I didn’t read the full op and see it’s about SEN so that part of my comment was irrelevant anyway. I still think owning a property should be prioritised (unless the landlord is council or housing association) it’s a nightmare to deal with an eviction with children

I didn’t mean home ed either I meant a different school from the one her child is currently at but with the parents doing extra stuff with the kid at home to help alongside school, if the school isn’t as good as the current one

If DD is receiving good support, I would be reluctant to move.

However, just because a school is positive, doesn’t necessarily mean the LA will name it, unfortunately. There are very limited reasons LAs can lawfully refuse to name parental preference, but LAs act unlawfully all the time and force parents to appeal. There is also the chance the school won’t respond positively to the consult even if they are positive beforehand to you - although state schools can be named even if they object.

If you do move, whilst the EHCP transfers and the new LA becomes responsible for the EHCP, they will review the EHCP and potentially amend or even try to cease to maintain. You would be able to appeal, but it is a risk you need to be aware of. There is also the possibility they will undertake a reassessment of needs.

Could you buy an investment/rental property elsewhere (perhaps somewhere you would be happy to relocate to later).

I think your plan sounds understandable but it does leave you vulnerable in the future