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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this dress considered ‘black tie’ enough?

171 replies

redtieorno · 18/11/2025 15:07

I’m attending my first black tie party next weekend and have, in true ‘me’ style; left the dress to the last minute.

I am really struggling to find anything I like / that feels suitable in stores, everything’s shifted to Christmas and short sequin dresses…

This is the only one I came across that was full length and I kind of liked. I am extremely self conscious after having lost a lot of weight and having lots of loose skin around my stomach, and I hate my arms so having them covered is an absolute MUST for me!

would you say this is suitable for a black tie event, or is it too casual?

I haven’t got shoes on in this photo, and would wear some nice statement jewellery etc.

Thank you!

Is this dress considered ‘black tie’ enough?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Fingeronthebutton · 18/11/2025 22:40

When people say “it’s got too much material” what is giving that impression is the toooo long sleeves. Just take the up just slightly above your wrist. Then showing some nice bangles.
one more thing, pull the material down on your shoulders: perfect. Oh, and hair up to to give a longer line all over.

WarrenTofficier · 18/11/2025 23:16

Fingeronthebutton · 18/11/2025 22:40

When people say “it’s got too much material” what is giving that impression is the toooo long sleeves. Just take the up just slightly above your wrist. Then showing some nice bangles.
one more thing, pull the material down on your shoulders: perfect. Oh, and hair up to to give a longer line all over.

Nope is the bunched up shoulders/chest layers that contain too much fabric and the OP has said it can't be pulled down and worn off the shoulder.

LucyLoo1972 · 19/11/2025 00:30

redtieorno · 18/11/2025 15:11

Thank you so much, that’s really kind to say! I am weirdly more self conscious now I’ve lost the weight than I was being by bigger…Funny how it works!

me too it is bizarre

LucyLoo1972 · 19/11/2025 00:31

Sickoffamilydrama · 18/11/2025 22:13

You beat me to it.

I have to go to events regularly for work but this year has been my busiest, so far I've been to eight or nine black tie so I'm becoming an expert on dresses.

Even though I do rotate them, I do have to buy some different options, Club L is good they have some nice details and very comfortable you can get from Next as well.

Goddiva is another good one, nice details and not massively expensive.

Hot squash does a nice cowl back dress every year in different colours that is more expensive but often on Vinted. Think Next does them as well.

Finally Karen Millen sometimes has things in the sale.

Reading this I am a bit tight but dresses for these do start adding up!

Well done on your weight loss OP

Edited

how do you get to go to so many black tie events - ive never been to one except my uni graduation! I did have opportunity to when I was an academic but my husband hates anything liek that

LucyLoo1972 · 19/11/2025 00:32

You look lovely and yes it is totally suitable

redtieorno · 19/11/2025 05:13

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate all your replies and those that have sent links to alternatives - thank you!

I’m slowly making my way through them all!

OP posts:
redtieorno · 19/11/2025 05:49

To update - I’ve just ordered these two, which are arriving today.. so I will post a pic once they’re here!

Is this dress considered ‘black tie’ enough?
Is this dress considered ‘black tie’ enough?
OP posts:
katzman · 19/11/2025 05:52

Difficult to tell without the heels to complement it as it makes you look short at the mo. Hope this helps! Beautiful dress and colour btw.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/11/2025 05:57

Beautiful!

hepsitemiz · 19/11/2025 06:04

Your face is gorgeous (at least the bit I can see is!), your figure is great and the color works well (as probably would many other colours).

I would encourage you to look for dresses with a bit less swaddling going on. But… you also have to dress for air con, which can be quite aggressive in hot climates…

I think that one looks like bandages :-/ sorry

Lostsadandconfused · 19/11/2025 06:23

I think it’s lovely, definitely formal enough and festive. Gold accessories, eg gold chandelier earrings etc.

Have it taken up if it’s too long, and have the sleeves taken up an inch or two so they hang without wrinkling. Also, see how it looks with the neckline more off the shoulder. You look like you have lovely shoulders and collarbones.

Sickoffamilydrama · 19/11/2025 06:26

LucyLoo1972 · 19/11/2025 00:31

how do you get to go to so many black tie events - ive never been to one except my uni graduation! I did have opportunity to when I was an academic but my husband hates anything liek that

I was president of my trade association this year so that meant extra events, a lot of the associations in my industry have weekend long AGM/Education event with a Gala on the Saturday.

It sounds great but I'm often by myself as DH is with the kids (sometimes work colleagues come) and then have to dash back on the Sunday to take one of the kids to Rugby. Plus they seem to all merge into one.

ApolloandDaphne · 19/11/2025 06:28

I'm not a fan of the red one but those black ones look lovely.

24252627a · 19/11/2025 06:40

Definitely suitable for black tie. But I think you could find something more flattering. There is too much material Lovely colour though 😍

Bobloblawww · 19/11/2025 07:24

It looks fab. I would shimmy the shoulders down a bit and consider taking up the sleeves or even folding them up inwards as I think they overwhelm your arms a bit.

OP posts:
Ivy888 · 19/11/2025 07:35

I’m sorry op, but that dress doesn’t suit you. It’s too heavy on top and makes you look frumpy. If you want a dress with sleeves I’d avoid all the ruching. The ruching would be perfect if the dress had no sleeves.

KilliMonjaro · 19/11/2025 07:36

It’s totally black tie OP.
Well done on the weight loss! 🎉

KilliMonjaro · 19/11/2025 07:37

Oh just saw the black one - MUCH more flattering! Go for it 🖤

CharlesPetrescu · 19/11/2025 07:42

@Clara202 That dress is gorgeous!

Nightow · 19/11/2025 09:52

M&S magic knickers were a game changer for me after losing weight but retaining loose tummy skin. They hold it all in brilliantly.

FeelinHopeful1 · 19/11/2025 11:32

redtieorno · 18/11/2025 15:07

I’m attending my first black tie party next weekend and have, in true ‘me’ style; left the dress to the last minute.

I am really struggling to find anything I like / that feels suitable in stores, everything’s shifted to Christmas and short sequin dresses…

This is the only one I came across that was full length and I kind of liked. I am extremely self conscious after having lost a lot of weight and having lots of loose skin around my stomach, and I hate my arms so having them covered is an absolute MUST for me!

would you say this is suitable for a black tie event, or is it too casual?

I haven’t got shoes on in this photo, and would wear some nice statement jewellery etc.

Thank you!

You look fabulous! No need to cover up so much. It looks as though that dress is a bardot off the shoulder style so pull all that excess fabric down. It swamps you otherwise. Well done on the weightloss 👏🏼 I go to 1 - 2 black tie events per year for work and it is very appropriate

halfandhalfchipsandrice · 19/11/2025 11:38

I think you (and your dress) look fabulous. What a great colour.

Patchedupsocks · 19/11/2025 11:50

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 18/11/2025 20:04

Yes! Looks great!

It‘s elegant, super flattering and you absolutely have the figure to pull it off.

Are you looking at the Phase Eight photo advert because that's not the dress that OP is refering to. Phase Eight is so much nicer than the photo of the dress OP is wearing which, let's be honest is NOT elegant in a million years and NOT flattering to anyone with so much excess material. Most peeps on here are saying the same thing, it's not a bitch in but OP has asked and majority say it's awful. She has lost weight and could look terrific in a more fitting dress. Not one that gets attention for the wrong reasons.

Patchedupsocks · 19/11/2025 11:51

redtieorno · 19/11/2025 05:49

To update - I’ve just ordered these two, which are arriving today.. so I will post a pic once they’re here!

These OP look so much better than the original dress. Hope one of them is THE dress.