I feel a bit conflicted. My eldest has just turned 18 and my sister (who I am very close to) has presented us with a large sum of money for him, and I’m conflicted about whether I should take it.
The background is, without my knowledge, she set up a trust for my family years ago. Over the years she’s added to it and the investments have done well so it’s now a large 6 figure sum. It’s not in the kids’ names (I also have a daughter, 16), it’s for me and my husband but explicitly to use for the kids. She has done very well in life, she sold her business for quite a lot and put some of that aside for my kids. Her own kids have trust funds and things (I assume much more than for my kids) and have been privately educated etc. She offered to pay for private school for my kids but we said no.
We don’t come from money or anything so no inheritances for either of us. Not sure that’s relevant but bigger picture as to why she wanted to share something with my kids who she is very close to.
Anyway the money is in my name because she thinks (probably rightly) giving a stack of cash directly to an 18 year old could be a bad idea. So I can choose to keep it invested for later (he can buy a house) or use it to pay his uni outright (no debt). Or I can give it directly to him (he’s sensible but still so young so I am against this idea). Daughter will get the same in 2 years. Trust stipulates use must be for kids so I can’t take it for myself, not that I would.
I’m worried about it all, maybe needlessly. It’s making me stressed that I hadn’t expected it, and also she doesn’t want to tell the rest of the family in case of jealousy. We also have another sister who doesn’t have kids but she always feels she’s left out because of this and would definitely want to know where ‘her’ money was. Sister says if Sis2 had kids she’d have put money for them too but she doesn’t want to give handouts to a grown adult who has already made their way in life. She also hasn’t told her husband / my brother in law. The way she saw it was the money came from her business, it was put in a trust (not marital assets). He would definitely be funny about it - he doesn’t like the idea of sharing their / her money (their household money has all come from her business, again relevant only in that she hasn’t taken money off him to give to me). Not close to brother in law, I don’t like him, he’s a bully and unpleasant, but it still feels like something that could cause problems one day.
Basically any thoughts. Am I unreasonable to take the money?!