Aibu? I’m genuinely not sure

[calacatta]

I was in a position to do the “Delivering Joy” initiative in Dunelm. For anyone who doesn’t know it, you pick a tag off the tree and it’ll have the gender, age and what they’d like for Christmas.

I spent a lot of time on mine as I wanted someone who might not get anything actually feel special at Christmas.

I took it into store (it was really quiet) and gave it to the woman working the tills and the interaction went -

“Is this where you drop off the delivery joy gift bags”
“yes”

Handed it over. That was it. I just thought there would be a “thank you”. Literally nothing more was expected. I’m not this generous person they need to bow down to and so many people will have participated.

Aibu unreasonable to have expected a thanks?

No idea why you would expect the cashier to say thank you, you haven’t done anything for them!

I would have expected a “thank you” for any interaction-what the transaction is makes
no difference.

No I did not, I presume you're talking about a UK store, which is not where I live.
And she was a random woman, to all intents and purposes. She was not a recipient of the gift, she was not the organiser of the charity drive. You did not buy anything from her, so were not a customer who deserved any particular customer service.
You asked her a question, she answered it. No need for her to thank you for anything.

Your need for notice and validation for doing a small act of charity means you've been debating online for days about whether this woman should have thanked you (and you disingenuously pretended that you weren't sure if you were being unreasonable, when you clearly think you aren't), and you're so excised by her lack of gratitude that you won't give to.this charity drive again.

Do you hear yourself? Is this really who you are?

Local Dunelm page has just put a thank you out for the gifts recieved so far

Is that good enough for you OP?

Wow. It’s precious now to expect a basic thank you for doing something nice? I see!

And if you expect a basic thank you that is equivalent to wanting validation for a charitable act? 😂. Give over!

Maybe op just expected a basic level of civility like most reasonable people?

You are really scraping the barrel now ChillBarrog trying to find excuses why someone in a customer facing role failed to say two basic words.

Yes it is when you're expecting it from the wrong person.
Which bit are you not getting?

YANBU - I think it’s basic politeness to say thankyou when someone hands you something in this context, and in a shop between a cashier and a customer you can add basic customer service to that!

Does it not strike you as rude though?
Surely it's just,an automatic response. I would struggle NOT to say thank you if someone handed me something

Wow a whole lot of made up rubbish on your side, they I don’t even have the energy to correct you.

Debating for days? 😂😂 I posted this yesterday. People continued posting on it. Should I not be allowed to respond after 24 hours? Do you hear yourself?!?? Is this really who you are?!?! Will someone think of the children!!!!!!!!!

@calacatta

What children ?!!!

I quote ' and no idea why you think it’s a gift for a child.'

so...what child/children...

It's the dynamic of the exchange not the context that is relevant.

You asked something of her (information); she provided it (the required information); you should have thanked her for providing what you requested (the information). Exchange over.

In the example you give of me donating to a charity shop, I would be the one providing ergo the other person would say thank you.

She was only involved in your charitable donation because you involved her by asking her something. Not because she was a person nominated to receive the donation.

Therefore, she had no reason to offer thanks.

If you'd asked her where the lampshades were, or example, and she had provided that information, you would have said thanks. You wouldn't have expected her to thank you for choosing to buy a lampshade from Dunhelm.

Love that the Op started the thread saying she’s genuinely not sure if she’s BU and hasn’t accepted or listened to any version of “yes, maybe a little”

If you just wanted vindication, don't ask the question that is bound to elicit responses not agreeing with your very firm position. Or at least don't get wound up when the inevitable happens.

How embarrassing….

OP's point is that they didn't even do that.

What dd you expect from the worker at Dunelm?

Whoever receives it will be very pleased and thankful

x

MN really is weird sometimes. Is this what we are becoming? So hyper-sensitive to 'boundaries' and the imagined things that may be happening in someone's life that we have lost the art of manners and/or basic human interaction?

OP appears to have.

As a pp said, in this interaction it was OP that should have said thank you, and she didn't.

How appalling.

No, OP believes the cashier represents the recipients - she actually says that in her response to me.

What should I have said thank you for?

Edited - I just realised it was you 😂😂. So obsessed with the thread, it’s kind of creepy honestly.

Are you high?

Not all. But whichever member of staff takes a donation they are representing the store and charity.

Why have code of conduct written into employees contracts if they don’t represent the business?

And no I’m not saying her saying thank you is in a contract. I’m saying that employees represent a company.

But you said “ the cashier as a representative of that person “ ( the recipient) did you not?

"Thank you for asking me to make a donation and showing me where to place it!"

Eh?

Why in the world would anyone says “thanks for asking me to make a donation”. ?? Do you think she came and knocked on my door a couple of weeks back and said “hi make a donation to us!”

And she didn’t show me where to place it. She took it and dumped it behind the till. So why would I thank someone for telling me where to place something .. when I didn’t place an item anywhere.

People on MN are so weird … I mean why stop there? I should have said “thank you for letting me in this store, thank you for letting me see the stock on the shelves, thank you for letting me use a space in your customer car park, thank you for working today, thank you for existing”