Aibu? I’m genuinely not sure

[calacatta]

I was in a position to do the “Delivering Joy” initiative in Dunelm. For anyone who doesn’t know it, you pick a tag off the tree and it’ll have the gender, age and what they’d like for Christmas.

I spent a lot of time on mine as I wanted someone who might not get anything actually feel special at Christmas.

I took it into store (it was really quiet) and gave it to the woman working the tills and the interaction went -

“Is this where you drop off the delivery joy gift bags”
“yes”

Handed it over. That was it. I just thought there would be a “thank you”. Literally nothing more was expected. I’m not this generous person they need to bow down to and so many people will have participated.

Aibu unreasonable to have expected a thanks?

They are though.

No recipient will have the opportunity should they want to say thank you to the giver. The person taking the donation is therefore by proxy the representative.

Not really. It doesn’t stop me from donating to a charity.

Huh?

I would just put this in the category of general bad service. I am sure the recipient will really enjoy your gift though.

They'll have your email address presumably and you'll be getting thank yous and marketing guff regarding your donation probably from head office.

The poor sod who works there probably wasn't especially fussed about it and it's just something that's been given to staff as extra work. I wouldn't hold it against them too strongly.

If you want a nice thank you and big smile, do charitable donations directly to the charity. Not via a business.

eg. The home start collection points in shopping centres or churches. They manned by volunteers who work with the charity.

Not someone in a minimum wage job who wants a quiet life and whos employer has come up with a charity program that creates more work for their staff on

It's not how I would do customer service. I really enjoyed helping (nice) customers in my retail days.

She may have had her mind on other things.

The cashier is not “in charge” of the initiative nor is she representing it. She did not ask for donations, she has nothing to do with donations in actual fact. Her job is to guide you where to drop them and continue ringing up other paying customers. The initiative is adjacent to the actual running of the store and in actual fact, very little to do with her actual job.

There are food bank stalls at the supermarket - if you ask the cashier where they are do you expect her to also respond in resounding gratitude ?

The fact you’ve taken the hump to the extent you won’t be participating again is what makes you unreasonable. You wanted a little song and dance and to be noticed for your good deed. You didn’t get it. No matter what beautiful reaction the child will have, you didn’t get yours and it’s been deemed unworthy now. Put you right off. For that, unreasonable.

'I just think that as the cashier is the representative of that person'

I disagree, the cashier is a representative of Dunelm, not the recipient,

Will you be telling the organisation that you were so put off by their representative's lack of grace that you won't be donating next year?

If you aren't comfortable doing that, then I think you're being unreasonable.

But you’re spiting those in need because you didn’t get a thank you from a store worker. Yes you can donate to another charity but it is still a petty reaction.

If my years in retail are anything to go by the cashier was standing under a big sign saying "Delivery of Joy Collection Point"

I'm only joking OP it would have been nice to get a thank you, but I'm saying thank you, you did a really nice thing that took effort so well done x

The cashier was rude. A simple 'thank you' was required.

Dunelm are really really bad at customer service! I refuse to shop there any more.
Sadly your experience doesn’t surprise me.

This is poor customer service but YABU to think a Dunelm sales assistant represents the recipient of the gift (as a former retail worker both in store and head office, this is a huge stretch) and YABU not to donate to the scheme next year because of this.

I think that’s stretching it a bit to be honest

You got crap service from the cashier - for most people it's hard to imagine being handed something and not saying thank you. But that doesn't diminish the impact you'll have on the recipient, which is ultimately the point of what you were doing. I'd assume it's a one-off event and not representative of Dunelm's standard approach.

If you are just doing it for kudos try FB
Otherwise just be happy that you have probably made someones life a bit better for 1 day

I think you did a nice thing OP. Don't let someone's poor reaction put you off.

I've worked in various shops and believe you have to play a role. People have chosen to bring their custom to you, when they could've gone elsewhere, and the least you can do is greet them and look them in the eye. They are paying your wages. You park any personal stuff and act as if you're pleased to see them.

It's noticeable how customers tend to be greeted warmly in some places and ignored in others. You don't get ignored on the tills in Waitrose, for example, but the cashiers at the supermarket where we used to live would carry on their conversation across the tills and ignore the customers completely, with no eye contact, until saying "£20.59" or whatever. So it's a cultural and training thing for each business.

So many staff, especially at that level, are poorly trained, treated, and paid, so ‘extras’ like ‘representing the company’, customer service etc, get buried under a tide of tiredness and resentment. (Can you tell I worked the tills for a few years when I was young?!)

What an absolutely rubbish cashier. Sorry that happened to you. I hate how crap CS is these days.

I find this outlook quite strange. The point of doing nice things like that isn’t to make you feel good about yourself, it’s about doing something for other people? No?

I’ve done similar initiatives, dropped off food parcels and the like too, I am usually the first to say thank you when they take it off me out of habit. It’s always returned with genuine warmth and appreciation.

’Thank you’ is now resounding gratitude? I despair…

The minimum wage employee isn't asking you to do anything. It's not her initiative, it has nothing to do with her. She doesn't benefit from it or gain anything.
She does not, in fact, owe OP a thank you. Sure, it's the polite thing to say, but it's in no way necessary.

Calling her a dickhead is extremely cunty.

Nothing happened to OP, she has not suffered. She wasn't a customer and didn't need any customer service.

What is wrong with people, seriously?