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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get the ick over the way he treats his dog

105 replies

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 09:27

I started seeing this guy and after a few dates I went back to his place for the inevitable shagfest. 😝

Anyway I knew he had a dog - not a problem I like dogs and have one myself.

On entering his abode the dog was extremely excited and pounced at me. She would not leave me alone jumping all over me climbing on the back of the sofa, standing on my head and licking my face. I was already thinking “get me the fk out of here” but then he started talking to the dog in third person and referring to himself as “daddy”. I could practically feel my ovaries recoiling.

Dog was not calming down so we retreated to the bedroom with dog locked safely in the lounge. I thought “cool let the shenanigans commence”. Which they did. All good and previous thoughts if the incestuous daddy/dog patter were pushed to the back of my mind.

After a few hours of how’s yer father I was feeling quite smug indeed and drifting off into a peaceful sleep when suddenly “crash, bang, wallop” the mutt was released from the lounge and allowed into the bedroom. No prior discussion on this. I was then subjected to around 30 minutes of the dog jumping all over me and general chaos. The ick was resurfacing with the endless “daddy” patter and having the dog either stood on my head or attempting to lick my face.

But then the last straw occurred. The dog started to lick with vigour and enthusiasm the hands of my new beau. Hands that had not long been all over and well in my … (Read between the lines here folks I’m sure you catch my drift). All the time being ENCOURAGED by him.

I was mortified. I felt sick. I can’t bear licky pet sounds as it is but the fkn dog was licking my fanjo juice off his hands.

I made a feeble excuse about leaving saying there had been some incident at home and practically ran out of the door.

Im not being unreasonable here am I?

Please if anyone can offer some perspective here it would be most welcome.

I feel violated !

OP posts:
Troubler · 16/11/2025 09:28

😂😂😂

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 16/11/2025 09:28

YADNBU 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

he is the very embodiment of what is wrong with today’s dog owners

Canopop · 16/11/2025 09:30

Ok so I’m not a dog person at all so I might be more dramatic than most but what the actual duck 🤣🤣🤣

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 16/11/2025 09:30

As a lunatic dog owner myself I was squaring up to defend Mr Shagger until the enthusiastic hand licking of the evidence.

Noooooooo, nooooo, noooo. 🤮🤮🤮🤮

PegDope · 16/11/2025 09:31

YADNBU 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

So disgusting in more than one way!

estrogone · 16/11/2025 09:31

That is in equal parts hilarious and disturbing.

I would say you were unreasonable for not leaving sooner.

Grim.

johntorodesfatcheeks · 16/11/2025 09:33

I’m amazed you had sex with him after the daddy talk. He must be hot as hell to have got over that.

Georgiepud · 16/11/2025 09:33

You do have a great way of describing the event, but it was all a bit over the top!

Troubler · 16/11/2025 09:35

I was expecting someone treating their dog badly so I’m relieved it wasn’t a story of animal abuse

A LOT of people refer to their dogs in the 3rd person nowadays and about being daddy. As much as I hate to say it, it’s pretty normal.

Licking hands after sex though is bleurgh. I can’t let the dog anywhere near us after sex because I know he loves all the smells and it will utterly repulse me.

but hey at least he treats his animal well

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 16/11/2025 09:38

I refer to my dogs in the third person! I even have individual voices for them which I started doing when DDs were young so they could ‘talk to the dog’…although DDs are 11 and 13 and I still do it 😂

TBH the dog sounds badly trained.

The hand licking is grim.

The letting the dog into the bed without consultation is unacceptable (and my dogs all sleep in my bed)!!

IAmTheLogLady · 16/11/2025 09:38

No, just fucking no.
Yanbu, are you going to say anything to him ?

MissDoubleU · 16/11/2025 09:49

YADNBU but I think you have to tell him the post fingering mutt hand licking was what made you have to leave.

Not just because I want to hear his reaction/defence, but also a little bit that.

Mistyglade · 16/11/2025 09:52

This is almost like a Friends episode, ‘the one with the hot guy’s dog’.

ACynicalDad · 16/11/2025 09:55

🐕🐶🐕🥺 never go back 🤮🤮🤮

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 09:55

Trying out for some creative writing are we op? Maybe dial the “fanjo juice” stuff down a bit, it’s literally boak making.

LaMarschallin · 16/11/2025 10:00

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 09:55

Trying out for some creative writing are we op? Maybe dial the “fanjo juice” stuff down a bit, it’s literally boak making.

I thought that.
Especially after all the coy "Hands that had not long been all over and well in my … (Read between the lines here folks I’m sure you catch my drift)." bit before just saying it.
Not sure about a "Friends" episode (as per a PP), more "Carry On Up the Euphemism" with "shenanigans" and "how's yer father" for sex.
Those phrases would give me the ick as well as the dog's behaviour.

Mistyglade · 16/11/2025 10:00

MissDoubleU · 16/11/2025 09:49

YADNBU but I think you have to tell him the post fingering mutt hand licking was what made you have to leave.

Not just because I want to hear his reaction/defence, but also a little bit that.

What else does the dog lick off his owners hands after, oh god.Confused

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 10:03

LaMarschallin · 16/11/2025 10:00

I thought that.
Especially after all the coy "Hands that had not long been all over and well in my … (Read between the lines here folks I’m sure you catch my drift)." bit before just saying it.
Not sure about a "Friends" episode (as per a PP), more "Carry On Up the Euphemism" with "shenanigans" and "how's yer father" for sex.
Those phrases would give me the ick as well as the dog's behaviour.

I know it’s like an On the Buses script got spliced with Confessions of a Dog Walker.

Note to OP, this is not a good thing.

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 10:07

I am going to speak to him later today. I mean there is NO WAY I could cope with sharing a bed with an excitable licky dog and that’s without the fact it was chowing down on my second hand secretions.

OP posts:
Happyhousehappyheart · 16/11/2025 10:08

Georgiepud · 16/11/2025 09:33

You do have a great way of describing the event, but it was all a bit over the top!

Edited

AI

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 10:08

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 10:03

I know it’s like an On the Buses script got spliced with Confessions of a Dog Walker.

Note to OP, this is not a good thing.

Hang on. Is that you Steven ?

OP posts:
Mrswhiskers87 · 16/11/2025 10:09

Unfortunately your use of the phrases ‘inevitable shagfest’ and ‘fanjo juice’ has made me side with him. You sound like a teenage boy from the inbetweeners!!

Instructions · 16/11/2025 10:09

I could not

That would utterly turn me off too

LaMarschallin · 16/11/2025 10:09

that’s without the fact it was chowing down on my second hand secretions.

Better than it "chowing down" on them first hand, surely?

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 10:10

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 10:07

I am going to speak to him later today. I mean there is NO WAY I could cope with sharing a bed with an excitable licky dog and that’s without the fact it was chowing down on my second hand secretions.

Oh no, you’ve deployed the alliteration button now.