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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get the ick over the way he treats his dog

105 replies

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 09:27

I started seeing this guy and after a few dates I went back to his place for the inevitable shagfest. 😝

Anyway I knew he had a dog - not a problem I like dogs and have one myself.

On entering his abode the dog was extremely excited and pounced at me. She would not leave me alone jumping all over me climbing on the back of the sofa, standing on my head and licking my face. I was already thinking “get me the fk out of here” but then he started talking to the dog in third person and referring to himself as “daddy”. I could practically feel my ovaries recoiling.

Dog was not calming down so we retreated to the bedroom with dog locked safely in the lounge. I thought “cool let the shenanigans commence”. Which they did. All good and previous thoughts if the incestuous daddy/dog patter were pushed to the back of my mind.

After a few hours of how’s yer father I was feeling quite smug indeed and drifting off into a peaceful sleep when suddenly “crash, bang, wallop” the mutt was released from the lounge and allowed into the bedroom. No prior discussion on this. I was then subjected to around 30 minutes of the dog jumping all over me and general chaos. The ick was resurfacing with the endless “daddy” patter and having the dog either stood on my head or attempting to lick my face.

But then the last straw occurred. The dog started to lick with vigour and enthusiasm the hands of my new beau. Hands that had not long been all over and well in my … (Read between the lines here folks I’m sure you catch my drift). All the time being ENCOURAGED by him.

I was mortified. I felt sick. I can’t bear licky pet sounds as it is but the fkn dog was licking my fanjo juice off his hands.

I made a feeble excuse about leaving saying there had been some incident at home and practically ran out of the door.

Im not being unreasonable here am I?

Please if anyone can offer some perspective here it would be most welcome.

I feel violated !

OP posts:
PInkyStarfish · 16/11/2025 11:56

What a disgusting post

LaMarschallin · 16/11/2025 12:00

@TheHungryHungryLandsharks

I am glad I'm not alone in the slight oddity of voicing my dogs!

I don't voice my cat but I do write badly spelled messages from her on some people's birthday cards and sign with a paw print.
My lovely, sadly dead now, 90 year old neighbour had been a head mistress and used to show me them marked with a red pen when I went round 😊

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 12:01

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 11:05

Where are you from? 1973? Are you hooked on repeats of Man About The House? There are other channels than “That’s TV!” op.

I consider my posts as a public service. You need to understand your writing isn’t funny or creative. Consider this a cease and desist.

Man about the House is actually very funny.

OP posts:
DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 12:06

FoxLoxInSox · 16/11/2025 11:33

You say you’re a dog-lover and have your own dog… yet you’ve admitted you don’t know what kind of dog it was jumping on you. Your way of describing it was ‘had an underbite’.

This is all fiction.

If Calsberg did defence lawyers.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 16/11/2025 19:43

So gross it's almost unbelievable

Doggielovecharlotte · 16/11/2025 19:46

Not long before the dog gets invited in during the action!!!’

Elishiva · 16/11/2025 19:51

I’m not a dog person and would not date someone with a dog, especially an ill mannered one.

Redburnett · 16/11/2025 19:51

Next time, if there is one, expect the dog to be in the bed with you from the start....yuk.
Time to move on.

Glitchymn1 · 16/11/2025 19:59

Mrswhiskers87 · 16/11/2025 10:09

Unfortunately your use of the phrases ‘inevitable shagfest’ and ‘fanjo juice’ has made me side with him. You sound like a teenage boy from the inbetweeners!!

^
The dog obviously sleeps in his bed, so you have a shared space. Does your partner ever wash his hands? Or is cleanliness not a priority.

At least pups didn’t get acquainted with your actual goods eh? 🤣

Doggielovecharlotte · 16/11/2025 20:00

Glitchymn1 · 16/11/2025 19:59

^
The dog obviously sleeps in his bed, so you have a shared space. Does your partner ever wash his hands? Or is cleanliness not a priority.

At least pups didn’t get acquainted with your actual goods eh? 🤣

I think it’s only a matter of time of time!

SmugglersHaunt · 16/11/2025 20:30

A gay male friend of mine said his “party trick” after having a man over was to encourage his miniature schnauzer on to the bed to lick the semen off both of them. He said he found it ‘cute’. When he told me I wanted to hurl myself into a ravine. It’s repulsive. Wtf is wrong with people and their dogs?!

Doggielovecharlotte · 16/11/2025 20:35

SmugglersHaunt · 16/11/2025 20:30

A gay male friend of mine said his “party trick” after having a man over was to encourage his miniature schnauzer on to the bed to lick the semen off both of them. He said he found it ‘cute’. When he told me I wanted to hurl myself into a ravine. It’s repulsive. Wtf is wrong with people and their dogs?!

🤢

DallazMajor · 16/11/2025 23:55

SmugglersHaunt · 16/11/2025 20:30

A gay male friend of mine said his “party trick” after having a man over was to encourage his miniature schnauzer on to the bed to lick the semen off both of them. He said he found it ‘cute’. When he told me I wanted to hurl myself into a ravine. It’s repulsive. Wtf is wrong with people and their dogs?!

Jaysus. Just no.

OP posts:
rasnnz · 17/11/2025 00:02

I just can't stop laughing at the dog licking the "juice" off his hands
And the dog that eats semen Shock

I mean dogs will lick anything like this. They are renowned for stealing knickers and socks etc from the laundry.

Missj25 · 17/11/2025 08:16

SmugglersHaunt · 16/11/2025 20:30

A gay male friend of mine said his “party trick” after having a man over was to encourage his miniature schnauzer on to the bed to lick the semen off both of them. He said he found it ‘cute’. When he told me I wanted to hurl myself into a ravine. It’s repulsive. Wtf is wrong with people and their dogs?!

Could easily have done without reading that post .Why would you even write that In ..
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

johntorodesfatcheeks · 17/11/2025 17:53

Missj25 · 17/11/2025 08:16

Could easily have done without reading that post .Why would you even write that In ..
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Could have done without the whole canine themed Carrie Bradshaw channeling in the first place to be honest. This schnauzer contribution could have been of those moronic anecdotes shared in the first series via random New Yorkers to camera.

DallazMajor · 17/11/2025 20:05

johntorodesfatcheeks · 17/11/2025 17:53

Could have done without the whole canine themed Carrie Bradshaw channeling in the first place to be honest. This schnauzer contribution could have been of those moronic anecdotes shared in the first series via random New Yorkers to camera.

Welcome to the internet!

OP posts:
RatsAss · 17/11/2025 20:44

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rainbowsandraspberrygin · 17/11/2025 20:48

RatsAss · 16/11/2025 09:55

Trying out for some creative writing are we op? Maybe dial the “fanjo juice” stuff down a bit, it’s literally boak making.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. It’s hilarious but so so distrusting and wrong. So glad you got outa there!!!!

RatsAss · 17/11/2025 20:51

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DallazMajor · 17/11/2025 20:56

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Oh would you look at that. Good old RatsAss is back to provide her trusty public service to the humbled masses.

What a blessing!

😘

OP posts:
RatsAss · 17/11/2025 21:01

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Hoodlumboodlum · 17/11/2025 21:02

Did you really need to write any of that down?

verybighouseinthecountry · 17/11/2025 21:05

Will no.one think of the dog here?

RatsAss · 17/11/2025 21:06

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