To be frustrated by DofE requirements

[Frenchcremefraiche]

My daughter has just turned 15 and is trying to complete (well, START tbh!) her Bronze DofE.

On paper it's fine: learn something and do some volunteering.

In reality it's really, really hard! All suggestions appreciated!

There are so many exclusions to the skill requirement. She doesnt get home from school until 6 which limits evenings. Not that there are many lessons/groups after school anyway. Then there are so few activities that count as a skill on the weekend. Anything vaguely "sporty" doesnt count as a skill even if it's something she's never done before and is going to classes to learn it (eg ice skating). She's been doing online guitar lessons but because she started those before DofE, they dont count. There is a minimum hours requirement and Ive found a few in person classes but they arent long enough. It needs to be something in person because it needs to be signed off so teaching herself or doing something at home wont count.

Then volunteering, because of her age, very few places can help. Any informal groups that are willing to take her want a parent present because they cant take responsibility for her / arent DBS checked etc which I get but obviously she doesnt want me hanging about. It has to be a regular thing so she cant organise eg an afternoon litter pick. Plus she needs someone to sign it off anyway. She looked at helping at a local beaver/scout group but one said no and the other has her ex boyfriend helping so she said no. In her naive 15year old way she wont help at brownies because they are "sexist".

Any suggestions on what she can do? She's on the verge of having to quit because she cant meet the requirements.

At our most recent camp we did climbing and abseiling, campfire building, circus skills, underground tunnelling, and orienteering, target shooting, various sports activities. Every time we have camped it's outside. If anything we try to challenge "stereotypes', the girlguiding motto is something like 'teach girls they can do anything'. It's really sad that she has this negative perception of a female group. Yes some are more dynamic than others, but that that down to leader personality rather than organisational stereotypes. Our guiding groups have huge wait lists as we do loads of exciting activities.

That sounds great but as I say that has not been her experience.

🤣 you might think so but she doesnt. It's a good job you dont have to do it really isnt it.

Ooh. I'll take a look. Thank you!

Chill. I havent kept "going on about her ex" do I'm not sure what you're imagining you're reading.

How receptive would you be to a random 15 year old knocking on your door asking for something to do? I suspect you'd shut the door in their face. How receptive would you be to letting your 15 year old knock on random doors asking for things to do? Hopefully not very.

My daughter helped volunteering at school and I made her litter pick along our lane as drivers/ passengers throw litter out of the windows on the roadside🤦🏻‍♀️she did 4 hours of that. She brought bags of litter home. I got her gloves and those litter picking devices off Amazon

Does your area have any Woodcraft Folk groups? They might align better to your DD’s values than Brownies.

She could also volunteer for The Cinnamon Trust if you sign up with her. She could do some things unsupervised.

My daughter signed up for a DofE online cookery course (https://www.eggandsoldiers.co.uk - this one but there are plenty of others if you look online).

If she doesn't want to help at Brownies, then that's her choice. It sounds like it isn't the right fit for her and I wouldn't want a reluctant DofE helper in my unit. I need helpers who are as keen to play football and bash stuff with hammers as they are to help the girls sew their own pencil cases and put on talent shows.

However, whilst she's moralising about whether it's sexist or not, she might like to consider that some girls, due to cultural or religious reasons, trauma, or just plain confidence, need a female-only space to thrive, or even just to be allowed to attend.

Guiding has changed a lot since then

But suggesting that things like crochet, cooking and looking after a baby are "girly" and that following the implication that "girly is bad" is sexist and why men think this way too

On a different note - as we've said, she can do her DofE via Scouting and doesn't even have to start it at 13/14

She could start after she's finished school and has different commitments and may find places to volunteer easier because she's an adult

She also could just complete her Gold at 24, without any others

I know a few people who wanted the achievement but couldn't do it at school who went on to do it as adults

No, it won't be her specifically.

It's her age. It's tricky for an organisation to 'employ' children if it isn't their norm because of things like risk assessments and DBS checks for adults. An adult can't be left in a 1-1 situation with a child. DBS checks are expensive. That is why so many people choose Scouting or Girlguiding to volunteer with - because they are already set up to look after children and young people. Everything is in place so it's easy and they are welcoming.

Obviously it's up to her, but she's really making things difficult for herself by refusing to volunteer with Girlguiding since other volunteering opportunities seem thin on the ground or out of the question. It's Bronze DofE. It's 12 weeks. One term. What's the worst that could happen? Her prejudices are confirmed and she's a bit bored for 12 weeks. On the flip side, perhaps she'll discover that Girlguiding isn't as "girly" as she thinks it is, or perhaps she could even suggest some less "girly" activities.

DofE is a chance to challenge yourself, have new experiences, and step outside your comfort zone.

Another thing with Guides Vs Scouts... the differences in age groups might be minor, but it does effect what you can do. Brownies are 7-10, Cubs are 8-10.5 for example. If the minimum age for an activity is 8, Brownies can't do it. Plus the simple differences in permits... DH works on the big camps regularly and sometimes for insurance reasons they have to turn away the Guide groups as none of the team has the Guide permit but they do have the Scout ones. (His team, although officially Scouting, has now recruited Guiders as well so they are covered going forward).

Firstly - skill doesn't have to be new. they just have to be working towards a goal of improving that skill - learning a particular piece of music would count. My kids have used boardgaming, piano, dance and drama clubs that they already did to complete the skills section.

Secondly it doesn't have to be every week, it needs to be regular and the equivalent of 1 hour a week. So one of mine does a club every other week for 2 hours which counts. One only has a half hour lesson each week but practises at home to make up the rest of the time requirement.

In terms of having to be in person - do you know anyone who has knowledge/skills of a subject? A neighbour of mine's kid did baking as their skill. they visited me at the start to discuss what they wanted to achieve and then they brought me several different baked goods through the 3 months for me to taste and give feedback. They would then rebake the same or similar to show improvement. I work in a bakery and this was fine to sign them off.

oh and Guiding is not sexist but that is a whole other topic which will derail from the thread. however I would suggest that maybe she should go and try with Brownies to see if there is truth in her feelings rather than assuming that because it is a female only space that it is sexist.

I used to volunteer at a Riding for the Disabled group that took on DofE volunteers from 14 years old. Learned skills like pony care, leading horses and side walking (supporting the rider) in lessons.

Parkrun on a Saturday morning or junior parkrun on a Sunday morning are really good options.
What my kids did for bronze
DS1 football coaching for volunteering and baking for skills
Ds2 cubs for volunteering and acting for skills

She's gone in today with a list of questions to ask the teachers and to discuss what DofE themselves say eg regarding in person/new skill/1hr every week etc.

She really wants to do this and from what people on here are saying, it's the school putting the barriers in place. She has also written a list of everything she has looked into and why it hasnt been possible to show the school she has been trying.

Her scout group dont do DofE. She literally has no time to do another group outside of school.

On the plus side, Ive asked about (following someone's suggestion on here) and it appears that our local Oxfam do take on DofE volunteers even if they are under 16 so she's going there on Saturday to speak to the manager. She's quite excited about it so fingers crossed.

If the school agree the skill can be online then there are a few options she is keen on.

Thanks to the helpful posters who said that school may be being unnecessarily stringent.

Her group may not but Scouting as a whole do offer DofE so she could ask her district

When I did DofE many moons ago I helped out at a library, worked at a charity shop and walked dogs at the local rspca. (One volunteer each up to gold) As a skill I did rock climbing (doubled as a physical) and at silver used driving lessons as a skill. Could she do an online 1to1 course so they could sign her off?

Junior park run take volunteers for DofE.
My daughter used a cooking app for the skills you have 6 months I think to cook 12 dishes that was very easy to manage.
if she does any sport already that can be used as well including going to the gym. The premise is really that they sort it out themselves

TBH, for DofE it's very self-motivated, and she should be looking for her own opportunities in whatever she's interested in (including contacting them herself).

Some suggestions for volunteering: hospital shop, care homes, Rainbows/Brownies/Guides, Squirrels/Beavers/Cubs/Scouts, any sports club to help with coaching, specific clubs for children with additional needs or disabilities, charity shop, park run, gardening clubs or community gardens.

For her skills, my understanding is that it can be any skill, including one worked on at home, as long as it's an hour a week or more, for at least the minimum time period (3/6 months at Bronze). And she'd need to show progress. Again, needs to be mostly self led. Could look at online courses for stuff, or for practical skills, showing the research she's done, and then practice and development.
Knitting, cooking, woodwork, painting/drawing, cross stitch all reasonably low-key and could be done using youtube tutorials and practice at home (With evidence of early work and later work etc to show development, and a log of what she's done when to show she's met the time requirements). I've had kids show cookery for DofE skills - each week they cooked a new recipe, kept a log of what they'd made and what skill they learned or practiced, and then a photo of what they'd made and a video of them cooking it. [eg Week 1 - make fruit salad to learn how to use a knife properly, with photos and a video, Week 2 - made veggie pasta - learned how how works and practiced chopping veg .... Week 20 - FINAL - made a three course meal of bruschetta, spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread and orange cake for pudding, skills; chopping, using hob, following recipe, using grill and main oven, baking, measuring etc etc etc]
If she wants a class, how about a new sporty thing (zumba, pilates, yoga), or a language class? My understanding for guitar lessons is that she could do it, but needs to set a goal and show progress, so 'going to a guitar lesson every week' when she already does that isn't good enough but 'I want to achieve grade 3 guitar by the end of the 6 month period I'm doing this for. It's progress and I'm currently only grade 2. I'll do this by attending a weekly lesson, and practicing at home twice a week for half an hour' may work.

Is packing her off for the summer on a language exchange an option?

My son isn’t currently doing his Gold DofE and my daughter finished her Bronze in the summer. So I thought I may be able to help.

Neither have used this yet but will do if needs be. Copied straight from a DofE email I’ve received, for the skill section:

IBM SkillsBuild offers a brilliant way to complete the Skills section online – and it’s completely FREE.

I don’t know specifically about DofE, but my daughter has to do a lot of volunteer hours for school honour society.

She helps at a local horse stables, mucking out, food and waters, and also helps with sports events like ice skating competitions, at the check in desk, runners.

There’s also help needed at school during football matches and netball and basketball games, running the snack bar, scores runner, she even gets group hours for turning up at sports events at school just to support her team.

And our local hospital needs volunteers. She’s only 14 so all she can do is the book cart patient run, or help with the dog therapy Pgm, but once she’s 16 there’s a lot more options.