To be frustrated by DofE requirements

[Frenchcremefraiche]

My daughter has just turned 15 and is trying to complete (well, START tbh!) her Bronze DofE.

On paper it's fine: learn something and do some volunteering.

In reality it's really, really hard! All suggestions appreciated!

There are so many exclusions to the skill requirement. She doesnt get home from school until 6 which limits evenings. Not that there are many lessons/groups after school anyway. Then there are so few activities that count as a skill on the weekend. Anything vaguely "sporty" doesnt count as a skill even if it's something she's never done before and is going to classes to learn it (eg ice skating). She's been doing online guitar lessons but because she started those before DofE, they dont count. There is a minimum hours requirement and Ive found a few in person classes but they arent long enough. It needs to be something in person because it needs to be signed off so teaching herself or doing something at home wont count.

Then volunteering, because of her age, very few places can help. Any informal groups that are willing to take her want a parent present because they cant take responsibility for her / arent DBS checked etc which I get but obviously she doesnt want me hanging about. It has to be a regular thing so she cant organise eg an afternoon litter pick. Plus she needs someone to sign it off anyway. She looked at helping at a local beaver/scout group but one said no and the other has her ex boyfriend helping so she said no. In her naive 15year old way she wont help at brownies because they are "sexist".

Any suggestions on what she can do? She's on the verge of having to quit because she cant meet the requirements.

If there are no litter picking groups why doesn’t she set one up herself? I imagine there would be things she’d have to research, arrangements she’d have to make which surely would go a long way to show casing her skills?

She can definitely continue the guitar lessons as her skill, it's described as developing a skill, so ongoing learning, not learning a completely new one!
There are quite a few online volunteering options if needs be. Old Mumsnet post charity shops normally are quite good.
My 2 did orienteering (walking with maps 🤣) for their sport! Guitar, web design and volunteering at a community garden.

I support the posts of others. There are resources on the DoE website that your daughter could follow up. I would chat over options but part of the DoE is for her to take the initiative.

Volunteering ideas for under 16s - The Duke of Edinburgh's Award share.google/KcDRhrRlEgE2hEAQ3

Our local church regularly takes DoE volunteers to support them with running the tech on a Sunday morning. No issue with whether or not the young person has a faith, just looking for a volunteer who will turn up reliably, run the PowerPoint, turn the mics up and down etc. training provided, but to be honest the volunteers don’t generally need it as they are already tech savvy. They are a very welcome addition for the time that they’re there and make a genuine contribution.

Or just ask the local council if you can be the weekly litter pick. You go out every weekend for a couple of hours clearing litter from the park and ask the councillor to sign off at the end. DO NOT ask the council to organise it, it will never happen (and is a tad demanding..!). All that is required from them is a signature on a form that you have completed.

OP, I used to coordinate Bronze D of E and as almost every poster on here has said, your DD has been misinformed.

Have YOU actually checked the D of E website? If not, please do so. When you do, you will see what everyone else has said here. Armed with that information, contact the coordinator and point out to them what the website says (politely). Then tell them that your DD will do guitar lessons, and whatever else.

For the record, I had a student preparing a weekly meal for an elderly neighbour. They photographed it and the neighbour wrote a lovely message in their logbook which we scanned when we filled it in online. I have signed off loads of kids who have joined choir or orchestra at school. Because rehearsals are only 30 minutes long, they have to do it over a longer time-frame to get the equivalent number of hours. For the "what are they going to learn" part, I simply wrote either learning to sing/improving their singing in 4-part harmony or the new repertoire we were learning. I have also had students who did an intensive sailing course over 5 days, but 4 - 5 hours per day. They signed up a few weeks before and did some reading, then did the course, then practiced so that the 3 month dates worked.

My own DDs did it years ago. DD1 volunteered with a music group. She played from 6pm with the advanced players, but went at 5 to coach and help with the beginners. She went to after-school badminton club which was 45 minutes or so per week and the teacher signed it off. She started pointe class at ballet. One of the DDs definitely included their instrument lessons which they had been learning since they were 4, so you are wrong about the guitar lessons not counting.

Things have not had to be signed off in person for several years, so I don't know why that information is being trotted out. Please do double-check because it is rare that so many different people on here with such a range of different experiences agree.

My daughter did Zooniverse online citizen science for her volunteering- it was easier to fit round long school commute- in fact she used to do it on the bus!

Tbh it sounds like something either side needs to budge or she won’t be able to complete. I guess it’s a life lesson about compromise. If girl guiding is the only one offering her opportunity then she needs to make that decision. Also don’t dismiss the care home that you say is too awful for her to help at. It may be a great opportunity. It’s not the residents fault it’s awful - and what are you basing that opinion on. Going and chatting to a couple of them once a week would probably make more of a positive difference than at the nice one down the road. It may also help the care home be a bit less awful. I know she’s 15 but it’s a good opportunity to also teach her to have a more open mind to the things she dismisses.

https://www.dofe.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/DofE_Languages_Learn_Commonwealth_FINAL.pdf

dofe themselves suggest duolingo so I would suggest going back to her dofe coordinator and arguing that using the above if she really wants to make this work out.

I really hope she can find something that works and that maybe she compromises a bit and comes out more open minded.

Can she volunteer at school? Is she academic? Maths or English mentoring or homework help with a year 7. Helping with a sports club/DT/art/drama club once a week?

Dog walking at the weekend?

DC1 volunteered at our local Park run and actually enjoyed it. It was the only volunteering opportunity that we could find that would take a 15yo.

What's wrong with Brownies? How are they sexist?

My DD helped at Rainbows and loved it so much she stayed longer than her required stint and ended up with about 10 regular babysitting jobs.

I think she needs to learn to compromise and maybe she will get more out of DofE than she realised.

But she should really be doing the looking and sorting not you @Frenchcremefraiche

This, but also she could do cubs? They're not single sex any more.

The guitar lessons should count- who told you that?

I bet the school have given the impression it's essential if you want to get into a good uni / do medicine / oxbridge.
It really isn't.
It sounds far more trouble than it's worth and gets harder because they don't stop at bronze.

is this in UK?
Is it a special needs or private school?
What time does she start school in morning; does that 5:30 include a long study period meant for homework / independent study (I know some UTC work like that, so they don't have to do "homework" at home).

Is the school walking distance else how does she get there and back home, since OP doesn't drive... I'm thinking about weekend access to events held at the school (most schools have something going on most weekends on the premises, sport clubs etc).

DD did her volunteering by helping out as stage crew for school play.

I wondered if OP's DD could do some kind of mentoring of young pupils or another type of volunteering to help school community. DS school had an anti-bullying programme run by the pupils themselves, so being part of that group counted as volunteering. In practice it just meant the anti-Bullying leaders were someone to talk to & signpost other pupils what their options were, when kids got upset with other kids. The antiBullying kids would attend our weekend fundraiser Discos for younger kids, help with crowd control and clean up afterwards.

You say "Nothing sporty" but my DS is volunteering on his gold DoE by helping to coach an under9s footie team. His skill will be learning the referreeing qualification for footie.

It sounds like whoever is giving advice on what/what isn't eligible for your daughter's DofE group is being pretty obstructive and making up rules that aren't actually written in the DofE guidelines.

I did gold many years ago, was a leader for a while, have 2 children that have done gold and another currently doing bronze. Not all at the same schools, so different leaders each time.

They absolutely can do something that they are already doing all my kids and I did music/sports we were already doing. It doesn't have to be something new.
Also doesn't have to be in person with the assessor weekly.

Online guitar lessons should absolutely count as long as the teacher is willing to sign it off.
One of mine did crochet for a skill, took pictures weekly, sent to a friends mum who was in to crochet and she signed it off. Don't think they ever met in person about crochet.
I know some of their friends did Duolingo and the language teacher at school signed it off having looked at their Duolingo logs.
Our neighbour did cycling and showed his Strava records to DH (who cycles) who signed his off for sport. DH did not go out cycling with neighbour, he did see him leave and return to the house on his bike, lol!
Mine did cadets/charity shop/rainbows for volunteering.

It sounds like the school is making life harder by doing D of E “plus” - insisting it can’t be an existing bit of skills development, and insisting it can’t be online. Which given their own unusual hours, makes life very tricky.

It sounds like whoever is giving advice on what/what isn't eligible for your daughter's DofE group is being pretty obstructive and making up rules that aren't actually written in the DofE guidelines.

Maybe the daughter is deliberately 'misunderstanding' what she is being told because it doesn't match what she wants to hear.

It's just that neither the OP or her daughter are coming across as very solution focused.

It doesn't have to be weekly - it's an hour a week over 13 weeks but could also be 4 hours on one day over 3 months, or 2 hours every fortnight.

Is she doing it through her school? What has school suggested?

Google to see if there's a volunteer website for your area that lists out opportunities. Ask your parish Council (if you're in a village).

Skills can be anything - you just need an adult that is not a family member to verify it.

Also, she has until she's 25 to complete it, it doesn't have to be done in one year.

Do you have any local environmental groups? We have a local woodland that is managed by volunteers and do weekly meets for litter picking/toping up and maintenance of bird feeders/gardening jobs.

Online guitar lessons should absolutely count as long as the teacher is willing to sign it off.

If she's teaching herself via pre recorded YouTube tutorials, there won't be anyone to sign it off.

If she's teaching herself via pre recorded YouTube tutorials, there won't be anyone to sign it off.

of course there is. Family friend with any musical knowledge can hear her play at the start, see screenshots of each week’s session, hear her play at the end.

Tbh, if she's having this much trouble doing the other sections, she won't stand a chance when it comes to the expedition.

She needs to help with brownies or litterpicking etc. I don’t mean this nadtily but she sounds a wee bit entitled, or just not wanting her to do it. If she doesn’t want to do it then let her be.

She can definitely do the guitar as her skill. You just have to show that you have improved. Someone will need to be keeping an eye on her doing it, such as a music teacher at school. Just to sign her off and to say she has improved.