Why is everyone away with the fairies?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Is it just me or have listening skills and attention spans declined rapidly in the last 10 years or so?

Nobody bloody listens or retains information any more.

Yesterday, I was at work. Patient transport turns up with a patient to transfer to us. I said, "Oh hi, have you got Mr Smith?" (All names have been changed) and the man says "yeah".
OK, great. I ring for the staff in the department that need to collect Mr Smith while patient transport guy goes to collect Mr Smith from the ambulance. I start typing up the paperwork to admit Mr Smith.
Our staff come down, with the necessary equipment to transport Mr Smith, and just then, who should come through the doors but a perfectly mobile Mrs Jones??!!
I said "that's not Mr Smith!!" and he said "nah" I asked him why he said it was and he just shrugged.
So I have to send the staff back again, with their equipment, get hold of the staff that need to collect Mrs Jones, and wait for them to come down.
All the while patient transport is stood there tapping his foot and looking at his watch like he has no idea it was him that caused the delay.

This is just one irritating incident. I find noone takes in information, noone listens, I have to send people times, dates etc 100 squilion times before it goes in. The parents WhatsApp group is full of questions the school has emailed to everyone already and all day long at work people reply to my emails asking stuff that is in the email they are replying to.
My husband has asked me three times today what shifts I am working next week.
The delivery people will completely ignore notes telling them where to leave parcels.
People in shops just stare blankly at you when you ask them very simple questions, or ask you to repeat yourself because they weren't listening.

I bet even on this thread, mumsnetters will comment having not read it properly.

Is everyone just away with the fucking fairies?!

Well there is something to be said for people who are unapologetically themselves

MyDP is a bit like this at times. It annoys me. For example he asks me in person about something ive already WhatsApp him about. I won't tell him again, just insisted he goes back and reads messages properly

I couldn’t agree with you more op, I find it incredibly frustrating that so many people are now seemingly unable to digest more than one tiny piece of information at a time, or to refer back to information previously given.
but on the plus side it is so delightful when I do meet someone who is fully ‘with it’ and we can exchange information quickly and seamlessly- they’re rare but they are out there!

Your not wrong .. irs phones it's been getting worse since 2000. But dramatically worse since 2020.. low level stress and constant information from our phones its causing memory issues. I was reading an article about it today. But yes kids today are increasingly incapable of retaining information. I told my son 3 times what he was having for dinner and still came and asked again while it was cooking.

OP - now you’ve mentioned you have ADHD, it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to talk quite fast, often without being aware they are. Other posters upthread suggested a problem might be that you talk too quickly so you are being misunderstood, hence why you keep getting people giving you the wrong answers, which could be explained by them not hearing properly what you asked.

you seem pretty wedded to the idea the problem is lots of other people aren’t really paying attention to what you are saying, and not in any way that the way you are asking them things (speed, volume, wording of questions) being the problem.

I think people are very tired & stressed and this is bound to impact focus. Both women & men are juggling full time work, jobs that used to be 9 til 4 or 5 are now 8 30 to 5.30 or 9-6 and more poorly paid, people are broken.

When you were at school YOU were expected to remember the things that affected your school life not your parents. You were being trained to be a responsible, independent adult by the age of 18. Children nowadays are still dependent on their parents till their thirties and even older!

I agree with you, OP. People just seem to be so disengaged nowadays. The comment about needing an instant google is absolutely right.

I have to agree with you. We live near a university and have to drive past campus. The amount of times young people just step on the road without looking, staring at their phones, listening to music,no clue whatsoever of their surroundings, just walking like zombies. Had I not paid attention I probably would have run over about 3 of them this month only 😄

I think many people are busier and more stressed in their work than, say, 30 years ago. And many employers don't value their staff properly so it's just a job and staff are just counting down the hours. We do also have shorter attention spans than previously, apparently - tied in with internet/social media use I think. And people generally aren't terribly good at listening, I've found - but that's nothing new.
I too get frustrated, especially in a work context, but I accept that this is a sign of the times.

No one gives a fucking shit is my reading?

I asked the post office worker 3 times while he was serving me how long goes a special delivery takes. I left post office still not knowing.

People have always been bad at following instructions and listening / reading what they are supposed to be doing. It's nothing new. In an apocalypse I'm confident I'd get out alive with all the crowds because of be the only one listening to advice. Also you should get a shared family calendar on your phone.

You're not wrong, I have had problems in the past with talking too fast.

I used to think it was coming from a fairly abusive home with lots of siblings all competing for our disinterested parents' attention -I learned to talk fast to get what I wanted to say in asap before being talked over or being told to shut up.

I now realise since being diagnosed years ago that it's because of ADHD and I've been working on it.

However, I'm in a job which is all about communicating with people. I had a communication test at interview and passed with flying colours. I've had plenty of feedback from my boss over the years that communication is one of my strong points. I never get people asking me to slow down, or repeat myself, which should be natural reactions to not understanding someone.

I've also not had this problem all my life, not even years ago when my fast talking was more of an issue than now. I said in my OP that it's in the last 10 years.

And actually, I disagree that I'm wedded to the idea it's not me. I've actually said a couple of times that I suppose it could be, but with everything I've said above, and the responses on this thread, I really believe it's a problem with society and changes in how we all communicate with each other and how we think. It's been really interesting seeing what others think.

Oh and btw, another patient came in today and I did say "who do you have" and not "have you got..." And thought of this thread when I did so 😄

Thanks to those that suggested that

My husband has an app which my work uploads my shifts onto.

He still bloody asks me 🙄

I honestly think most people have checked out of making an effort in their jobs because they no longer give a fuck about whether or not they're actually being competent. I have noticed similar behaviour to you OP, most recently with a customer return I sent back over a week ago. I emailed in the return number, order number, tracking info etc & explained concisely and clearly that it looked like the courier had collected & lost the return, and got back a reply with completely irrelevant instructions on how to organise a return through their website. It's pure laziness. Or stupidity. It's hard to tell now.

Agreed. The effort of sustained concentration is becoming harder.

It's definitely everyone else in the whole world and nothing to do with your own communication skills.

Yes. Most people drift off after a few seconds. It's rubbish.

I honestly think people are on their phones too much

The NHS worker was totally out of order. Surely it is his job to ensure accuracy when dealing with patients.
As for emails, well I get sick and tired with the sheer volume I receive. Not only that but the monotony and repetitive nature of them.
Just flaming tell me in person the pointless, ridiculous crap that you want me to know. It would take 2 minutes to cone into my office and say, ‘We are doing the annual, pointless review about whether to donate a tree to a disabled child in Outer Mongolia. Of course this will involve wasting time and money on several overpaid wankers meeting up in person at the company’s expense, just to come to the obvious conclusion that as we are constantly telling the plebs to save money, we wont be donating a tree this year.’
Yet no, I’ll get an email advising me that I’ll get further emails about this crap. Then an email asking me to confirm that I have received and read the emails. Then An email asking me to confirm that I am aware of the decision made by the overpaid top dogs plus can I add comments. Then a passive aggressive email telling me that like every other employee as I haven’t made any comments, next year the project won’t go ahead as obviously nobody gives a crap about sending a tree to the disabled child in Outer Mongolia. Oh and don’t forget, we are on a cost saving purge, so don’t print out this email!

Maybe you have a really boring voice OP - like that bloke off Father Ted.

I have a bit of a monotone voice - and yeah - people 'switch off' sometimes when I'm speaking. But then when someone else makes the same suggestion - others say 'ooo yes - that's a great idea' It can be quite annoying!

Well that's hilarious...she did ask. It's in her OP, but you obviously missed that detail. I actually agree OP. I teach teens and in general, they take zero responsibility for any sort of action that requires them to do a thing or be somewhere. They blame a lack of reminders (they've had many), a lack of info (they have Teams with notices posed in full). There are posters, emails home, verbal reminders repeatedly in tutor period. Zilch. And yes the parents are the same and it's getting worse. I do agree there's a lot to keep track of, I have teens of my own and on my own and work ft but systems are everything and with phones now for alarms and reminders there are fewer excuses. I have a pad by my desk. When i check emails, key details go on it or the email pinned to the top of its really important.