Why is everyone away with the fairies?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Is it just me or have listening skills and attention spans declined rapidly in the last 10 years or so?

Nobody bloody listens or retains information any more.

Yesterday, I was at work. Patient transport turns up with a patient to transfer to us. I said, "Oh hi, have you got Mr Smith?" (All names have been changed) and the man says "yeah".
OK, great. I ring for the staff in the department that need to collect Mr Smith while patient transport guy goes to collect Mr Smith from the ambulance. I start typing up the paperwork to admit Mr Smith.
Our staff come down, with the necessary equipment to transport Mr Smith, and just then, who should come through the doors but a perfectly mobile Mrs Jones??!!
I said "that's not Mr Smith!!" and he said "nah" I asked him why he said it was and he just shrugged.
So I have to send the staff back again, with their equipment, get hold of the staff that need to collect Mrs Jones, and wait for them to come down.
All the while patient transport is stood there tapping his foot and looking at his watch like he has no idea it was him that caused the delay.

This is just one irritating incident. I find noone takes in information, noone listens, I have to send people times, dates etc 100 squilion times before it goes in. The parents WhatsApp group is full of questions the school has emailed to everyone already and all day long at work people reply to my emails asking stuff that is in the email they are replying to.
My husband has asked me three times today what shifts I am working next week.
The delivery people will completely ignore notes telling them where to leave parcels.
People in shops just stare blankly at you when you ask them very simple questions, or ask you to repeat yourself because they weren't listening.

I bet even on this thread, mumsnetters will comment having not read it properly.

Is everyone just away with the fucking fairies?!

This ⬆. It was so much easier in the dark ages.

It might help if schools website had a page for each class that details what is happening for the term for that class. Maybe it would stop all the emails/phone calls flooding into the schools and everyone would be less stressed

They were coming in for different reasons from different places.
I had had a phonecall to say Mr Smith was on the way, so I was expecting him imminently.
I was expecting Mrs Jones at some point that day.
By co-incidence, Mrs Jones was on the way at the same time as Mr Smith, who was stuck in traffic.
I assumed they had Mr Smith, I asked to confirm (because it could have been Mrs Jones or another patient we were expecting much later, arriving early) and they confirmed it was indeed Mr Smith. Which it wasn't.

The real Mr Smith arrived about 20 minutes after Mrs Jones.

Thankfully, I waited until I laid eyes on him before I started filling in paperwork or ringing his wife to confirm arrival.

I did expect someone trusted with a task of transporting very vulnerable people around to be a little more on the ball and I am quite concerned he wasn't.

I’m not away with the fairies but I did forget to put the shopping in the trolley

I also find the stock response to every question you ask a person who should know is ‘ummm dunno, can find out for you’

This week:
Estate agent: is this a working fireplace? ‘umm dunno’
Behind the bar: what time does the band come on? ‘Umm dunno’
Venue: how many people can that room comfortably fit standing? ‘Umm dunno’
Potential new supplier: What about X? Didn’t get the umm dunno, but a more general, we’re not prepared for that very obvious question that was bound to be asked.

Maybe I’m too militant in my own approach to work and expect too much of others.

*in the case of the barman maybe it’s his managers job to let his team know when shift starts - not necessarily blaming him - bit harsh - but you get what I mean.

I think there is an issue about people nowadays expecting information to be delivered to them in short bursts, just when they decide they need it, with no need for any effort to look for it.
I help run some children's activities. I am a volunteer and have a busy life myself. I send parents a very clear letter at the start of each term with details of weekly sessions. I also send a very clear letter with full details of any one-off events, so parents have full details before they decide to sign up. These letters are always posted on a website so parents can access them easily of they lose them etc and I include details of the website/where to find copies of letters etc on every communication. Yet every week there are messages on the parent whatsapp asking for basic details that were included on the letter in bold type and underlined. One more than one occasion parents have e-mailed to ask what date an event is, by replying to the e-mail I sent with details with the date clearly stated on the second line of the message. Every time there is an event I can guarantee that some children will turn up without something they should bring and parents will look baffled and ask how they were supposed to know- despite the kit list being clear on the letter and sent to them again just before the event as a reminder

This is the conclusion I've come to. I seem to be a total outlier for most things. Like expecting people to think/research for themselves rather than expect someone to hand them all the information on a plate...for example (happens a lot at work). Until I read this post. Maybe me and @xAwaywiththefairiesx should be friends😂

OP the conclusion I've reached is that if you let it frustrate you then you're the one suffering. I'm trying to be more live and let live and accepting of people rather than getting exasperated, especially as I seem to be wholly in a minority. It's been way better for my cortisol levels. I recommend it!

I find this too.

Increasingly I find people are only ever semi listening and don’t retain information at all.

As a separate issue, I notice that fewer people feel what I’d have considered healthy social shame about being flaky and unreliable at work.

Not all people are like this, by any stretch of the imagination - but I’m surprised these days when I encounter someone who seems alert and on it and not half dissociated.

I think everyone’s suffering from information overload, and I think people have lost the intrinsic feeling of pride in a job well done because so much work is underpaid relative to CoL - people feel replaceable and exploited and stressed and skint, and unsure how they’ll ever achieve financial stability, and that really undermines a person’s self esteem and motivation.

Yup this is the sort of thing! I work in a pretty remote location, where we have visitors who often are coming for the first time. I email them all and say 'if youre coming for the first time please do your research as we're tricky to find and signal is limited', then the number of people who arrive in a huff because they got lost and were late. I get complaints about not sending out a link to Google maps or what three words. But they're both on the website, which I do link to when I suggest people look before they leave. When I used to email everyone the long winded instructions it was worse as noone read them. I find actually giving fewer instructions and asking people to take responsibility seems to be more successful. Not a catch all, but definitely easier for me!!!

Totally agree on the information overload. Think it accounts for a lot. People are less observant too I think...like missing signs for things because they're not as connected with their surroundings and trust Google to get them there. Information is so readily available people don't need to think, but also we're processing more information than our brains have evolved for.

Do you not use a diary or calender?

I don't think you're expected to just remember these things.

The only person I get this from is my son. But that’s a whole other thread! Everyone else seems to listen just fine.

The school don't share things on calendar invites so you have to check the 5 sources of info, write it all down and then add it to a calendar, make sure you sync that to your work calendar and dh's work calendar otherwise things get missed. So you have to do that 10 times a week. And then once you did it on Tuesday morning, on Tuesday afternoon they send information that contradicts it all. Then someone questions something (do they need trainers that day then?) which then requires following a conversation to see what the outcome was and whether they do in fact need trainers or whether this was a wild rumour.

I agree. I got reprimanded the other day for getting arsey with a shop worker. I couldn’t help it and it was warranted IMO. The interaction went like this:

I arrive at the checkout with a few items - including fire lighters.

me: do you sell lighters?
idiot store assistant: uhhh.. (long pause) yeah but not sure which isle. (Headset on, no movement to radio and ask)
me: right.. could you ask please?
ISA: yeah, do we sell lighters (over headset)
ISA: yeah they’re on the end til with tobacco.
me: (asks friend to grab one from the end while I check out with the rest)
ISA: (doesn’t scan a single item while waiting, stares into the abyss. Queue now forming.)
ISA: she’ll have to go back around the shop with the lighter, she can’t walk towards this til as it’s near the door
me: well I guess we can just see if anybody mentions or tries to stop her (still waiting for stuff to be scanned) grumbles from the queue now begin
friend arrives with said lighter
ISA: have you got ID? (I’m 31)
me: no, I can show you a picture on my pgone
ISA: no I need id
me: fine just leave it (now getting annoyed)
ISA: begrudgingly scans toothpaste then picks up firelighters
ISA: oh and have you got ID for these too?
me: fucking hell forget the whole thing.

picked my keys up and left. Writing it doesn’t seem that irritating but the pace in which it all unfolded and the fucking vacancy behind the eyes pissed me off so much! No urgency from anyone. You have to actually ask people to help and then instruct them how to do their job.

I agree with this.

We get so many emails at work that all saying different things that I don’t really pay any attention and then just ask what I need to know when it becomes salient.

Maybe you're just really, really boring

No, I'm not.

But even if I was, isn't that kind of irrelevant? Does me boring you mean you can just decide to ignore me instead of doing your job?

Jesus Christ, imagine if everyone did that. My doctor just decides not to treat me because he's had enough cases of ear infection this week and he's bored of it? The pilot decides he's bored of Spain now so he's going to fly us all to Morocco?

Why should I care if you're bored? Do your job. Not everything is about you.

When people say this, they are basically saying their job is too much for them so they're going to get other people to do it for them.

I’m quite old, and I do get where you are coming from, OP. However, when I was young, in a relatively low-paid job, life was good enough that I could pay my mortgage, afford to heat my flat and buy groceries, keep myself fairly stylishly clothed and shod, and even afford a skiing holiday each year.
I get the impression that too many people in similar jobs to those that I was working in my 20’s are now struggling to do any of that, because the pay is so much less in comparison with the CoL, and that as the saying goes, you pay peanuts…
People are only going to work their hardest if they feel it’s worth it - which covers the explanation for your colleagues and people in shops. As for your DH, you’re letting him get away with relying on you for his admin, and you should stop enabling him!

I’m quite old, and I do get where you are coming from, OP. However, when I was young, in a relatively low-paid job, life was good enough that I could pay my mortgage, afford to heat my flat and buy groceries, keep myself fairly stylishly clothed and shod, and even afford a skiing holiday each year.
I get the impression that too many people in similar jobs to those that I was working in my 20’s are now struggling to do any of that, because the pay is so much less in comparison with the CoL, and that as the saying goes, you pay peanuts…
People are only going to work their hardest if they feel it’s worth it - which covers the explanation for your colleagues and people in shops. As for your DH, you’re letting him get away with relying on you for his admin, and you should stop enabling him!

Haha. I must be the most boring person on earth. Nobody pays attention to me - a literal wallflower. Every so often I lose my cool at home but can't do that at work.

CantBeArsed-itis at its finest. Fuck a duck, what do you expect a court jester to deliver work requests?

Who knew you needed to have charisma to get a patient transfer done without having to spell it out over and over again?

That assistant is probably back home sighing about people who try and checkout without having found all their items or having their ID ready. This one was on you.

The PP simply wants a rise out of us.

They have only succeeded in showing themselves up. They need everyone and everything to entertain them in order to be able to perform tasks like an adult.

How self centred and childish.

I think I'd rather just be boring!

I had an appointment at Specsavers yesterday. Enter store and person on computer facing away from me asks my name. Then they say 'take a seat'. However there were no seats in the front of the shop so I look around me and end up saying 'where should I sit'.
They then wave there hand about, as if I'm daft and say...'here'...at the seat opposite them.

Couldn't they have just looked at me, instead of facing away and said with clarity, 'please come and sit here'.

So minor but such a succinct example of communication skills gone rogue.

Or of course the patient transport person could have done their job properly. The job they are paid to do, which is to properly identify the name of the patient.

Yes, you see evidence of it here a lot too where people don’t read posts or moan that posts are “too long” if they are a few paragraphs, even when somebody specifically asked someone else asked them a question and they’re answering it. I don’t know how people function in life if they cannot cope with information that’s longer than a couple of sentences even when written down so they can read it again if necessary.