Why is everyone away with the fairies?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Is it just me or have listening skills and attention spans declined rapidly in the last 10 years or so?

Nobody bloody listens or retains information any more.

Yesterday, I was at work. Patient transport turns up with a patient to transfer to us. I said, "Oh hi, have you got Mr Smith?" (All names have been changed) and the man says "yeah".
OK, great. I ring for the staff in the department that need to collect Mr Smith while patient transport guy goes to collect Mr Smith from the ambulance. I start typing up the paperwork to admit Mr Smith.
Our staff come down, with the necessary equipment to transport Mr Smith, and just then, who should come through the doors but a perfectly mobile Mrs Jones??!!
I said "that's not Mr Smith!!" and he said "nah" I asked him why he said it was and he just shrugged.
So I have to send the staff back again, with their equipment, get hold of the staff that need to collect Mrs Jones, and wait for them to come down.
All the while patient transport is stood there tapping his foot and looking at his watch like he has no idea it was him that caused the delay.

This is just one irritating incident. I find noone takes in information, noone listens, I have to send people times, dates etc 100 squilion times before it goes in. The parents WhatsApp group is full of questions the school has emailed to everyone already and all day long at work people reply to my emails asking stuff that is in the email they are replying to.
My husband has asked me three times today what shifts I am working next week.
The delivery people will completely ignore notes telling them where to leave parcels.
People in shops just stare blankly at you when you ask them very simple questions, or ask you to repeat yourself because they weren't listening.

I bet even on this thread, mumsnetters will comment having not read it properly.

Is everyone just away with the fucking fairies?!

I’ve worked 25 years now and there’s definitely been a decline in the amount of information people can take in. It’s partly why Communications is a whole career. You used to write a paper setting out an issue, background, pros and cons, detailed proposal for change. Now you come across very archaic and old fashioned. Complex issues are squashed into PowerPoints or infographics instead. Or you’d write a set of guidance for people to refer to and understand context, when now all they want is the answer to a specific question whenever they need it.

I’m sure there are many reasons for this, part information overload, part concentration spans, part self centredness. Despite claims AI is going to do everything, the world is just too complicated for the human brain and we have not had time to evolve the skills needed to deal with it.

I hear you OP!!

I feel like sometimes I’m walking around in an episode of the walking dead…… so many zombies!! Vacant expressions, grunts in response to anything…….

I definitely blame technology and the ability to mindlessly doom scroll. I’m convinced half the time when you see people scrolling on their phones (instagram and TikTok I’m looking at you) they’re not even taking the information in.

Other posters have also nailed it…… “but I’m bombarded with information, I can’t possibly put any effort into organising and retaining the bits I need to!”

Fine, but you realise that by asking somebody else you are expecting them to do the EXACT THING that you can’t be bothered to do?

Yesterday DH had something in his hand that he had just removed from the box along with the instructions. I had ordered the item online (at his request) and commented that the website said you should start using it on the lowest setting and gradually increase. Cue a million questions about which setting is the lowest? Is it this button? How do I turn it on/up?

I don’t know dear but YOU HAVE THE INSTRUCTIONS IN YOUR OTHER FUCKING HAND!!

People are either on their phones, or impatient to get back to their phones, so not paying attention.

Ok- perhaps you communicate perfectly and sadly are surrounded by people who are incapable of working out what you are asking even though you are asking in the most clear way possible. Perhaps the questions you ask, the volume and the speed are perfect for being understood and you are just unlucky that you are the only person who keeps having to interact with people who don’t listen.

or perhaps you are like @Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthreadwho’s described an interaction that went wrong in the supermarket where she was very clearly in the wrong, yet convinced it’s the other persons fault. (Generally understood you don’t get in the queue to pay until you’ve gathered all the things you want to buy, also understood if the law says you need to be over a certain age to buy a product, staff will ask for ID, and a sensible person who was able to think through their plans in advance would make sure they had ID on them when trying to buy an age restricted item. Unless she’s missed a massive bit out of that story, it’s pretty clear she was the one in the wrong.)

I used to do a job that involved dealing with and answering customers’ complaints by email. After a while I was always given the ‘repeat customers’ who emailed again because their problem had not been dealt with. It drove me mad how few of my colleagues read and understood the initial problem. It used to make me think that reading comprehension must not be taught very well in schools!

Fwiw - I’m autistic and the “I’m communicating clearly but being constantly misunderstood” situation is common for autistic people. As a third option / explanation.

Absolutely
When someone asks on what's app for examples about something already discuss on the same what's app chat.. I scroll back up.. screen shot and circle the relevant bit and send it back.
Passive aggressive i know but calls out their "ditziness " .
Too many people want spoon feed.

Two words: social media.

And yes, here we are posting online...

I’ll probably get roasted for this but some of the nurses where I work are thick as shit. It’s fucking scary I’ve seen countless number of things that make me genuinely concerned for patient safety and I wouldn’t recommend my place of work to anyone requiring treatment

That bit about the lighter in the shop reminded me of another post where a couple at the checkout found they had no cash, cards or phones on them. They couldn't pay, buried an apology in their excuses, and did not offer any solutions (like coming back later or replacing the items). They swore at the assistant as they left. Their post was to complain that the assistant was offhand in response!

Honestly yes.. It feels like nobody actually takes anything in anymore. You can say something clearly and it just evaporates out of their heads.

But I am not the only person. Lots of people on this thread have confirmed they are having the same experience

This is what I do 😄

They are unlikely to be having the same experience with the same people. You are having issues communicating with several different people you meet through work. Unless several of your colleagues have experienced similar, you do need to at least consider you are failing to communicate effectively.

Do you speak quickly, or quietly? Do you fail to make sure you’ve got someone’s attention before you start talking to them? Are you not wording your questions well? (As PP said, instead of asking “have you got Mr Smith?” Which potentially could be misheard, swap to “which patient do you have?” )

Clearly what you are doing isn’t working. That other people aren’t experiencing this suggests not a universal problem, so either you are very unlucky, or you need to at least consider you are the problem.

It sounds maddening if it happens all the time.

But your example could easily just have been a overworked person, not hearing exactly what you said, and just automatically saying yes. It does happen. Maybe that driver is hard of hearing? English not first language? Having a bad day? Or maybe he really isn't very good at communicating.

It seems like there are many people like this in your workplace.

I think they struggle to recruit patient transport drivers. My family member uses them and they keep switching companies. They routinely get lost and take him to a different branch of the place despite regular pleas that it's not the right location. Literally diverting the 20 mins journey to two hours!

So yeah it is annoying. But I also do think nobody's perfect.

I voted yanbu.

I have noticed this too op and it’s infuriating.

Yes there might be reasons for the examples you gave, and yes we all make mistakes. But it seems to be all the time, people just don’t listen and don’t read things properly, if at all.

I only part listen now at work.

I just can’t be arsed to bring 50% of myself to work, let alone “my whole self”.

I suspect if everyone you interact with these days is not responding well to you then you are the common denominator

I have ADHD. You'd hate to work with me as i'm VERY "away with the fairies". But yeah if everyone you meet or work with is like this then sorry, its you. I don't know how old you are, but of you're 50+ you probably think stuff like that "didn't exist" in those days 🙄

What a bizarre assumption to make.

I am 38 and I also have ADHD

So because you cba you think it's OK to let others do your job for you?

What a bizarre assumption to make.

I am 38 and I also have ADHD

People are just lazy.

How can anyone dare saying "but i had THREE emails from the school this week, how can I cope" 😂Meanwhile they perfectly manage 150 threads on MN.

My favourite are the parents on whatsapp groups.
One person: children christmas disco will be between 3 and 4:30.
The VERY NEXT post: what time is the children christmas disco?

Or one parent kindly posting: remember Tuesday is swim day, they need their swimming kit this term
The very next post: Do the children have swimming this term?

Fuck off Malcom, (or Doris) read the fucking posts you lazy idiot. It's literally above yours.

at least that person is honest. I might not agree, but I respect the laziness when it's owned 😂

I think the people saying that people want an easy answer to their questions, they don't want to have to find out the answer, like a living Google, are spot on.

I've also noticed people get irritated if they're not immediately given the answer, as if they are entitled to type it into you and have you ping it back to them.