I’ve been married twice and didn’t ask either MIL to my hen do

[NotNowMrTumble]

Frankly, it didn’t occur to me.

My hen parties were for my bridesmaids, friends and my close family members.

WIBU?

It’s your party, do what you want. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else does.

Did you ask Victoria Beckham though?

Just seen the other thread. I’m late to the (hen) party as always.

Ok and?

And what?

This is the issue isn’t it. She invited her Mum, and VB. You can’t do that and not invite your MIL if your HR.

No but I didn’t invite a couple of my mum’s closest friends, so potentially the same thing?

Speaking as a MiL I was upset not to be invited to the hen do or to see wedding dress or to bridesmaids dress fittings (DD wanted me there).

Of course you can invite your own mum but not your MIL.

And sounds like there were already tensions there before the hen party so why would she want to invite someone who already caused drama over the engagement party and who knows what else.

Did you go with your son to the suit fittings?

No but I didn't invite my mum either. If I had then I probably would have done.

Although I don't think anyone should have to invite their MIL just because they invite their Mum. It's obviously a personal choice.

It’s nobody else’s business who the hen chooses to invite, or how she arranges her wedding.

God knows why his mother gave that interview to the DM. Although I do note they changed the headline from “Gordon’s clutches”.

It didn’t occur to me to invite either.

Now I’m 53, the thought of being invited to a hen do is horrific.

I’ve been married twice, didn’t invite either my MIL or my mum to my hen party first time round (back in those days hen parties were for your friends) and didn’t have a hen party second time round.

I’ve never been married. Do men typically invite their soon-to-be male in-laws to their stag dos?

Why? If you had been invited to your daughter's, why did you need to crash your DIL's who presumably wanted her own mother there? How entitled.

I didn't invite my Mum or MIL. None of my friends did.
Of course everyone was invited to the wedding.

I didn't have a hen do.

No one has to do anything.

It's personal choice.

Same. Neither my mum or MIL came to my hen do. I did take them both out for a christmas afternoon tea wreath making thing after the wedding to thank for all their help, but didn't occur to invite to my hen do and they had no issue with this.

My brother's girlfriend (now wife) on the other hand kept dropping hints about coming but we don't get on so I didn't want her there. She is a very 'preachy' person and I really didn't want her moaning at the group about the impact of plastic bubbly glasses on the environment or that a drink may not have been organic! I went to hers and it was pure torture, all her friends were 'ceos of start ups' (ran a market stall selling juices) or campaigners for 'important causes' or artists or other 'creatives'. When I told them I was an NHS physio, their response was 'how.....traditional. That must be very......erm......rewarding'

Both mums or no mums, not just one, presuming they're both still alive and well. If there's a step mum on either side then I'd consider her too, especially if she's been decent to you when you've met her.
I will add that I didn't have a hen do, and am not overly keen on them, but the above approach seems fair.

Did you father go to your fiancé’s stag do?

When did it become a thing that mums and/or MILs were invited to hen dos? I was first married in the 90s and went to a few hen parties then and there were no mums to be seen! It was the bride, her bridesmaids and assorted pals having a party.

I’ve also been married twice and invited MIL both times. I considered them both close family. They offered to help with any wedding purchases or planning, in the years before they had both been there in hours of need, cooked for me, bought me gifts, helped with DIY and gardening. They were part of my support network.

My sister got married in the 90s, and mum and her MIL were invited. And that was a night out in a bar with a stripper.