I’ve been married twice and didn’t ask either MIL to my hen do

[NotNowMrTumble]

Frankly, it didn’t occur to me.

My hen parties were for my bridesmaids, friends and my close family members.

WIBU?

I can only assume that family relationships aren’t good for many posters. It never entered my head not to invite my DMil,DM, DSis and DSil to my hen party and wedding dress shopping. They are all lovely people who I enjoy spending time with. The majority of our Christmas celebrations over the last 25 years have been spent with both sides of the family even though it involves long haul flights.

If you’ve spent any time on MN you must know that not everyone has a warm and happy relationship with their MIL, or indeed their mother! But also I don’t think it’s weird for a hen do to be a party for the bride’s generation - friends, sisters, cousins, SILs but not mothers, MILs, aunts or grandmothers. That was certainly the norm for all my friends.

But did your partner invite your dad to his stag? I think that's a big part of the issue, his famous rich FIL could go to the stag but his mum couldn't go to the hen

No concerns over family relationships here - just that my understanding my of hen parties is that they’re for the bride and her mates to have a bit of a party together. I also didn’t want a load of people wedding dress shopping with me, that sounds like hell. First time round I took my mum, second time round my best mate.

Yours is different. Not better, just different. But you’re just making up that people don’t get on with their relations because of this.

DH invited his DF, my DF and his brothers in law to his stag do. Both the hen and stag were family events.

I love my MIL. She didn't come to my hen party. Even if I had invited her, I don't think a weekend in a youth hostel and paintballing were quite her thing. (Or my mothers).

I've never known MIKs to be invited, and own mothers m, aunts etc only 50% of time at most. They were for the brides friends, not every female at the wedding.

Same with stag parties... grooms friends.

Sorry no, just because you dont involve your family or in laws in every aspect of your lives doesn't mean you don't have good family relationships
My MIL - she is a lovely person very kind and generous, the best in the world, but she is in her 80's and wouldn't have been able for the travel let alone what we did for my hen party, she really enjoyed the afternoon tea i arranged instead that was close to home and not as loud ect , more appropriate

My own mother is very very opiniated and i just didn't want her at my wedding dress shopping with me,i am also quite decisive and know what i like, she wouldn't have liked what i picked and i know she didn't when she saw it on my wedding day but its what i wanted and i loved it
We spend time with each other at xmas birthdays ect i just dont think its appropriate for mil or mother to be at a hen party

It never would have occurred to me to invite my MIL to look at wedding dresses. That was a really special thing that I did with my Mum…it wouldn’t have been the same with my MIL there. I don’t dislike her but it would have completely changed the dynamic. You’re very entitled to think that it was your place to be there. Neither my Mum or MIL were invited to my Hen do either…they wouldn’t have wanted to come!

My MIL was invited to all things wedding! Venue hunting, wedding dress shopping, my hen do etc. I wouldn’t dream of not inviting her to my hen do.

So you invited your Mil and SILs to your hen also then? Or no?

Yes

Thankfully I get on with my DIL and went to everything including dress shopping and hen do

OK, so totally different to this situation where FIL was invited to stag but MIL wasn't invited to the hen then

My hen do was a meal and boozy night out with my friends, followed by clubbing. No relatives/future relatives at all, just my mates.
They all did similar-this was back in the days before anyone went abroad or had really fancy hens.

One of my SIL’s had a more sedate do with her Mum and Auntie there. I can’t remember whether her MIL was there tbh.

Anyway, I find the headlines sad, the family is obviously divided and people are upset. I think he’ll regret not having them at his wedding. IMO, Gordon needs to intervene and sort them out the way he does in failing restaurants-swear profusely and tell them to get on with it.

Seriously, I think he could sort this.

I think this is blunt. As long has OP has the same attitude going foward at future family gatherings.