To think your Baby Registry list should be limited after #1

[Outside9]

I often receive baby registry lists as I'm in that phase of life. It shocks me how so many of my friends and relatives, who are on their 2nd or 3rd child+, have such extensive registry lists you would think it was their 1st child.

(Obviously this doesn't necessarily apply to those with big age gaps or surprise accidents).

I have one friend who is having their 2nd, (1st just turned 4) and she has everything from prams, to baby bath etc. My cousin, who about to have her 4th child in (oldest child is 5!!l ) also has something similar. When I had my 2nd, people thought it was strange when I said all I really needed was nappies and wipes. Think it will be the same 3rd time round.

Granted there are standalone items that are needed; naturally you need an additional car seat, or the bottles and changing matt are worn out. But outside of that, if you knew you always intended to have more than one child, surely you should've kept all the baby stuff?

It's Friday, so may as well kill time by getting torn apart by this section. AIBU?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

I’ve never seen a registry list ever, they are not mainstream in the uk. Generally people ask you what you would like if close family and friends just buy clothes once baby is born

@horseplay12

so sorry to hear that.

i must admit I followed the tradition for dd1 of no pram in the house before baby is born, i bought it from a local department store (before they all closed down in recent years) and you paid a deposit, they kept it and you collected after baby was born paying the balance, considered tempting fate to collect, I hardly bought anything prior and borrowed essentials

Hey OP, I'd also love to understand what culture/sub culture you mean. You mentioned london. Can you shed any more light? I'm, London, early 40s and have friends /colleagues/relatives with new babies from a fairly broad range of demographis and have never heard of a registry.

Being oblivious doesn't negate it's existence however.

You don't have to take my word for it, there is plenty London, England and UK mum/parent content on YouTube, Tiktok and Instagram. I've even seen influencers put a wishlist /registry lists for their fans. It's really that common. This is why I wondered if it was general.

To address your Q more directly, as London is diverse, so are my circles. If I had to define, I'd say late 20s to early/mid 30s. Mixture of ethnic groups, from White, Asian, African, Caribbean and Arab. All UK born, so somewhat removed from their culture of origin.

I have been to plenty of lavish and extravagant baby showers, where the whole event was essentially Instagram-able in presentation. I had mine in my living room, but I'm very much an outlier amongst my peers, and I guess they'd consider me more frugal.

Ah. "Instagram -able".
This is what it's about.

I’m mid 30’s. Never been given a baby wish list. Nor do I get a present for a baby shower. I give a small gift (like a baby grow and small toy/book) when the baby is born. Not a chance I’d be participating in a wishlist.

I've even seen influencers put a wishlist /registry lists for their fans. It's really that common. This is why I wondered if it was general.

Say sorry what? People are trying to get total strangers to shell out for stuff the want for their baby? Please tell don't actually buy baby gifts for these grifters.

Any sort of gift registry seems like very bad taste to me. UK.

💐Sorry for the loss of your little DD

I have never heard of a baby registry. When I was expecting DD1, my parents (who had been apart for nearly 20 years) clubbed together to buy the pram, PIL bought the cot and we bought the matching changing table/chest of drawers. DM bought DD1 a highchair for her first Christmas (at 3 months old she didn't need anything else). All of these did DD2 as well. We borrowed Moses baskets for both DDs and someone gave us their old steriliser
Twenty five years on, the pram is in the garage. It ended up in the attic of our previous house and we moved in February 2020 and didn't have a chance to donate it to charity before lockdown. DD1 is about to get married and they are very keen to have children so we have decided to hang onto it for them to use when they visit us (friends have also borrowed it for their grandchildren).

I have been to 2 or 3 baby showers over the years but they have always been in someone's house with everyone bringing a plate of sandwiches or cakes, and they have been used as an excuse for a get together and to play some silly games. We generally took a small token gift for either baby/babies (one was a twin pregnancy) or mum (e.g. toiletries, bibs, dribble cloths).
Someone I know is due soon and recently had a baby shower (I wasn't invited but saw the photos on social media and was gifted a left-over favour afterwards). It took place in an expensive hotel with balloon arches, a massive cake and a posh afternoon tea with an expensive pram in the background of photos.

I've never come across a baby registry before. I live in Ireland. I would buy a present if a close friend was expecting but i would be horrified to be given a 'wish list'.

whole event was essentially Instagram-able
Well that explains the batshit selfishness so, it's all about the "likes" - fucking ridiculous 🙄

This. Load of nonsense. We lived in west London for years, recently raised four kids there and have never heard of this nonsense outside of a few US friends - who also tapered their nonsense to match us!