To think your Baby Registry list should be limited after #1

[Outside9]

I often receive baby registry lists as I'm in that phase of life. It shocks me how so many of my friends and relatives, who are on their 2nd or 3rd child+, have such extensive registry lists you would think it was their 1st child.

(Obviously this doesn't necessarily apply to those with big age gaps or surprise accidents).

I have one friend who is having their 2nd, (1st just turned 4) and she has everything from prams, to baby bath etc. My cousin, who about to have her 4th child in (oldest child is 5!!l ) also has something similar. When I had my 2nd, people thought it was strange when I said all I really needed was nappies and wipes. Think it will be the same 3rd time round.

Granted there are standalone items that are needed; naturally you need an additional car seat, or the bottles and changing matt are worn out. But outside of that, if you knew you always intended to have more than one child, surely you should've kept all the baby stuff?

It's Friday, so may as well kill time by getting torn apart by this section. AIBU?

It's a very American thing in my eyes. I'd definitely roll my eyes and not be participating if anyone sent me a link to one in the UK - I'm mid 30s with loads of friends with young kids and it hasn't happened yet.

I'm 40! I have a 2 year old.

I wonder how many years ago some of your had children?

I’m in my 30s and I’ve seen/heard about baby registry list many times. It’s not compulsory, people chose to buy gifts for expecting mother, if you don’t want to buy a gift don’t buy one then I really don’t see massive issue here.

'Surprise accidents.'

'Hello, I failed to use contraception so now have an unexpected pregnancy. Therefore please find attached this extensive list of things you need to buy for me'.

Yeah. I'd be politely declining that request.

Agreed. Mind you l don’t agree with baby showers or registry’s. Grabby and common. After the 1st child then even worse

Most are early-mid 30s.

Of course it's not compulsory, but we all have social contracts based on implied expectations. I don't think I was suggesting it's a major issue, but rather seeking views for lighthearted discussion.

I’m 42 been to lots of baby showers across the country and over the years never had a registry. I’ve got 3DC ranging from 12-19.

Ive asked the mum to be if they need anything before but never had a gift list enforced for a baby.

Baby sprinkles and registers...... what sort of hell are we in. They would both be a hard no from me. So grabby.

Yeah, that's more my experience. I didn't want a baby shower but I did get some nice gifts (clothes, etc) from some friends and a couple of relatives asked if we wanted anything which we declined. I've never been presented with a registry for a baby.

In fact, I can't remember the last time I was sent a registry for a wedding either. Everyone just asks for donations to charity, honeymoon of often make it clear they want nothing.

We have 2 children and haven’t bothered with a baby shower and haven’t written a baby wish list. I just feel uncomfortable about asking people to buy us stuff for a baby we chose to have..

That person would get either nothing or a nappy tower and a set of wipes and NOT with great willpower be told they are a CF and to be thankful...

You can say no.

I'm mid 30s just outside London, I don't remember anyone circulating a registry for their firsts let alone for their second. I didn't make one for mine (and nobody asked for me to give them one, they just bought whatever they wanted when baby was born). But then I never asked my friends for their registrys, maybe they had one and I just didn't know?

Baby registry lists shouldn't exist at all, but as they do it should only be for your first. You shouldn't ask for more stuff for subsequent children.

Never had a "Baby Registry" for either of mine and I won't for #3. I've always had a list of shit I need, but I have bought it all myself. MIL insisted on buying the pram, and that'll have served 3 babies by the time it retires. I wouldn't dream of being so grabby, tbh. If people want to buy stuff for the baby, that's nice but their choice. Otherwise, they're my kids and it's my job to provide for them.

I never had one. I bought everything myself with the exception of a few small things close family gifted.

No to baby showers, no to baby registries. What is this grabbiness? The commercialisation of child-rearing makes me cringe. Vulgar.

Baby registry lists!! This sounds even worse than baby showers - which we should have collectively wholeheartedly rejected as a concept before they even got a foothold here.

This is a timely post for me. One of the people on my staff has taken two days off this week to get ready for a baby shower for her daughters 3rd child in 5 years. One of the tasks for my coworker for the shower was making 100 cupcakes for the shower, which makes me think it is a big do. I think it is in poor form. However, I may be particularly strange on these matters. I was too uncomfortable to even fill out a wedding registry that my best friend had to do it for me!

Lots of my friends have had babies. I have never heard of a "Baby Registry List" (& yes, I did send them presents when the children were born).
Are people really so greedy and shameless?

I was thinking reading this ‘what the hell is a baby registry’ but then I’ve realised that when I was having DS we did have an Amazon list (created for DH and I to work through over the paydays approaching my due date) that we ended up sharing with 2 or 3 friends that insisted on buying us something that we actually needed / wanted. We deliberately made the big stuff like car seat etc private so they couldn’t see them as options. They bought lovely bits from it, both practical and fun, some of which are still in daily use 17 months later (looking at you, white noise Otter). In the unlikely event we were to have a second we already have all that stuff so wouldn’t even create one in the first place.

I think it’s generational as I’m up north and I’ve seen/heard of a wishlist in my circles.

What fresh hell is this?!

I'm in London too and in a similar age bracket to you. Both my kids are young. But I have heard of this or a ‘baby sprinkle’

Also feel like a list/registry reduces the chances of getting personal, thoughtful presents from people - e.g. some friends bought me beautiful childrens' books and other things that I wouldn't have thought to ask for (e.g. things they'd loved sharing with their own babies).
Those presents are meaningful because it's the person who's special to me, thinking of something lovely for me, if that makes sense. And in some cases it was passing on a bit of magic because I imagined the friend previously enjoying the book with their own child, and saw the warmth on their faces when they recounted that, etc.

What? Never heard of a baby registry! I’m a bit older but my two stepsons have four kids between them four and under and not one did a baby registry!
We got gifts from our family and a couple close friends. That’s it - I mean it sounds really grabby to have an actual registry.